San Pedro Trip... Jesus fucking christ. Jesus fucking christ. Jesus fucking christ.

[electroBeam]

.... Speechless. Just fucking speechless. So madly speechless. So insanely speechless. Just what in the actual fuck am I doing. What games am I playing with myself. What the fuck am I doing. The games I'm playing with myself... I'm just gobsmacked. I'm just gobsmacked.

You guys think this spiritual stuff is all about just being in the present moment, letting go of thoughts. All I have for you is:

Look im not interested in playing those non dual games about who knows more about non duality then the other person. And quite frankly because I just think I'm gonna loose. Because I'm just deluded. And the levels I play myself are just so insane, that I can't even pretend that I have any authority in knowing whats more true then you. I've got no interest in the guru disciple, teacher student personas, I've seen, massively, in very bitter pill fashion, how hypocritical and shockingly deluded that stuff is. I'm not projecting hate towards you. I'm just expressing my innocent feelings.

In this post, I'm just gonna be completely vulnerable, and give you a use case for how deluded someone can get. For all of you to look in shock and horror, and hopefully draw insights from. And this post is gonna be used for me to ground my insights in something so I remember when this trip ends. Just because it might be helpful. I'm not down anymore on the whole persona of the dude who cares about truth and gathering all these insights... im just fucken playing myself hard. Here are my insights, use them or not. What the fuck eva.

Its 12am my time, and I can't sleep. I wont be sleeping tonight.

Where do I start.... bahahahahahaha. I thought my ex played me, my parents played me, "the system" "the government" played me. Bahahahahahahahaha. The levels I play myself. Jesus fucking christ. Jesus fucking christ. Jesus fucking christ. Jesus fucking christ.

Jesus fucking christ.

Jesus fucking christ.

Jesus fucking christ.

Jesus fucking christ.

EDIT: accidentally pressed enter. I'll add stuff in, within the next 1 hour. This will take me time to unpack. here is some now:

 

I've been on this path for the last 5 years. I consider myself one of the most sincere seekers out there. I go places that others aren't willing to go. I'm willing to be ostracized for it. Attacked for it. And I have lots in the past.

I've been through lots of bitter pills in the past through the spiritual path. And I wanted that. I was a bit of a masochrist. I loved revealing bitter pills. It made me feel like I was getting real progress. The progress others just aren't willing to go through. What I thought made me different to others was just how honest I was. I'm willing to sacrifice what others aren't to get enlightened. I'm willing to go through what others don't want too, even the most enlightened out there. I didn't feel like I was superior to others, infact I was well aware that this lead to a huge amount of survival problems. So I just felt like this was a personal thing of mine, doesnt make me special, but I am certainly a rare one when it comes to truth. Because I can feel everyone around me just isnt as committed as I am. They play games and tell themselves that they are. But they aren't as committed as I am. And I can freak you out, trigger you, take you down if I tried. Because I know exactly what to tell you to give you glimpses... the sorts that you are desperately trying to hide. Because I do it with myself all the fucking time. And I trigger people on a daily basis with my truth inducing bombs. And during some periods I was triggering people on here too, because I just couldn't help myself but trigger the fuck out of you because I know you're hiding something and there's nothing I love more but bursting your bubble.

 

I started getting less interested in this site, because it was getting a bit repetitive. I just felt like I knew all the games already that people were playing on here. And they weren't interested in my help in bursting them. I would just get negative reactions from the people I tried to help. I was getting intuitions somehow that my journey needs to move to shamanic and psychedelic circles, because I started resonating with them a lot more then people on here. I just felt like they have a much deeper grasp on this pandora box we call the present moment and so naturally was attracted to hanging out with them.

Although I had issues, because psychedelics weren't working that well for me.

the first trips I did on both aya and san pedro were highly mild. Even though the doses were big. I told the psychedelic people that and they were dumbfounded at what was happening. My brain must have been broken.

I did have 1 big trip on san pedro that I didn't tell anyone because I thought it was delusional... but it was a trip that shattered everything Leo and other spiritual teachers talk about in a radical way, and I just thought that can't be true(after the trip) (in hindsight: bahahahahahahahaha, this trip went there and infinitely deep into it, a trillion phds)

I spoke to those people about non dual teachings, asking them about what God is, and they seemed clueless. And I thought it was because they didn't know much about truth. But what I further realized was it was actually because I didn't know much about truth.

So I've had an infinite love awakening sober. The ego permanelty died with me. I know, off by heart, what no self feels like, what no self realization feels like, what all that tony parson crap is. I know all of that off by heart. I can mimic them with perfect accuracy because I know what that shit is inside and out.

And I can also perfectly mimic the lovers on here, the ones who have realized infinite love, because I've been there. Know it super well.

And the ones that talk about infinity and God. I know your shit off by heart.

I don't think you're full of shit, I take in your perspective, but know there's more.

I've had the realization that there are no others but me and that I'm inventing it all (sober)

I've experienced sober through meditation of literally being different objects. The exact same way people describe it in salvia trips. I know that shit off by heart. Been fucking there sober.

I know that the universe is infinite love, and I'm creating everything just to make that realization a trillion times more impactful (realized sober)

Yet this san pedro trip absolutely fucking socked me shitless crazily insanely madly.

 

I was getting pretty cocky, I thought these trips aren't working because I'm too enlightened and have seen it all... BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(this is the part I want you guys to check out in shock and horror, the above, this is the part I want you to analyze with your eyes and feel the tragedy here, Not just my cockyness, but also having fully exhausted this path to death, beyond 99.99999999999999999% of people (and I know i might be sounding cocky suggesting this, but I'm just being honest. This is what the cactus told me, not my personal ego self... that self has been absolutely humbled to bits, to insane bits)

The pedro trip starts:

Well I started getting heaps of love and this idea popped in my head that I was about to have a "breakthrough" finally, and this cactus would finally start working. I'm like "yes! I'm gonna experience the "ONE" that leo keeps talking about... that whole idea where you're infinitely aware of absolutely everything and everything is answered and you're completely awake and blablablablalba... I did NOT experience that)

Then it started getting so loving that my body couldn't handle it. And then I thought "ahaha! mahasamadhi"

prior to this I had been going through very extreme sober ego deaths once a week that actually felt like mahasamadhi. I got extreme amnesia, just love everywhere and the dream (you guys! All you, hello!) was gonna vanish forever.

So I'm like ok the cactus is just giving me some insights into that... NO.

I started to get this super fiery energy. A super fire but still deeply loving. I always feel it, and its why I'm such a triggering dude to be around. My fire just burns your hidden secrets. I'm scary to those that dont like the truth. I'm wanted dead by them. Can feel it all the time.

And I started going through exactly how hypocritical this entire world is. At this point I had somehow found myself outside (AGAIN! Never learn my lesson!) talking to normies about the truth and nature of reality. I told them their secrets. They were telling me that I was deluded. I told them "I'm deluded? The truth is right fucking here you numpty! Look around, its infinite love and you are it! You are creating it all!" but they said all their dualistic bullshit and my fire rose like mad and I just said "yeah and why are you insisting such things because you are afraid of X!" and X got them right in the heart. You could feel their shock, as if their deepest, darkest secret was revealed. And they just went silent. And then I felt a deep sense of resentment generating and facing right at me like a turret of a tank. And it felt like their resentment was about to reveal some hidden secret that I'm hiding...

But what? I'm the most honest man alive? That's impossible, I'm not hiding anything?

So I walked back home, because I could sense that if I kept outside, somehow through some unhidden law that I dont know what, the normies will start building up in numbers and try and get rid of me. Like exorcism. Through jail or sending me to a psyche ward.

And that point I was biting my tongue a lot because I keep so much in about what I think and on this stuff I was being ridiculously authentic and my ability to hide it was fading. I had to tell people how full of it they were... but as said above I could feel this building up into a societal/sociological wound if I kept going this way.

 

... mind you by this point I still didnt realize the cactus was having an effect on me, I just thought I was placeboing, because thats what happened the last 10 times. I'm just placeboing again.

 

But then as I got back I realized I had been talking to myself out loud and didnt realize it. I started to notice my behavior wasnt normal. And thats when I went "ohhh, the cactus might be working"

I started to notice that everything is love (just much more deeply) and saw that Trump and Hitler were just excuses for loving myself more. I know the present moment is all there is, but I need an excuse to love it, or to make it even more loving then it is. And tada! Hitler and Trump! Those guys make the present moment even better! Its just a game I'm playing to love the present moment more and more.

Yet those fucken horrible normies! The ones that believe in science and delusion and those stupid political ideologies. If only they were like me, sincere about the truth...

But then as I thought about me, the sincere one about truth, I started asking myself, well whose the one creating that idea?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

well whose creating the entire universe?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

whose creating the path?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

oh fucking shit.....

whose the one creating no self realization?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

oh fuck no

whose the one creating the realization of infinity?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

oh helly fuck no

whose the one creating the realization of infinite love?

oh oh fuck no please no fuck no oh fucking shit you've gotta be kidding me

whose kidding you?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh fuck no.

what the whole path was me gaming myself?

"THE WHOLE PATH IS ME GAMING MYSELF?"

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk!

well if its no gaming you, then who created Leo?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh no, it really was me creating Leo? Like actually me? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no.

who created the path?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

who created the idea that your ego died?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fuckennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

ohh fuck no. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk

oh no there's literally nothing outside of me. I'm all alone and creating everything.

There's no where to get to or go because I'm doing fucking alll.

I can't rely on Leo telling me what truth is, because I fucking created him. ohhhhh helllllll nooooooo.

oh hell no I actually did.

oh shit I created all the gurus.

oh my fucken god.

And at this point the cactus was making me feel a deep sense of grieving and loss. And magic and "overness"

and I'm like, this is the first time anyone has been here before, none of those enlightened beings have been here before, because I created them. This is all being discovered for the first time.

The palpitations start kicking in, I've just woken myself up to a level that I wasn't meant to.

I can't ask people for help, because I created all that. I can't ask people where is this san pedro taking me, because I'm fucken doing the whole show. ohhh dear.

And then the cactus made me realize that the cactus was just a story I created to make the present moment more magical. I came up with this idea that the cactus takes me beyond where I always am. And I just realized I'm doing that to make the present moment more beautiful and magical. Its a way of making it infinitely loving, I'm always making it more and more beautiful by coming up with all these elaborate stories.

... but they are fucken stories.

oh deary me, I'm entering territories that I can't get help because I made it all up, including the idea that the cactus is gentle or whatever. I made that up. ohhhhh dear I don't know whats gonna happen.

What if I've just entered mahasamadhi?

ohhhhh no I think this is mahasamadhi

The cactus goes "Wake up! You keep priding yourself as being the one and only who cares about truth, more than everyone else! Well here's a truth that you've hidden and its the answer to everything... but there's one catch, the dream you know it will never occur ever again and you will literally reincarnate or just dissolve into love or something other than being this physical avatar"

And I just asked "do I have a choice? Because it doesn't feel like that? OMG I'm about to enter mahasamadhi? Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk"
 

"how am I going through this? its just a fucken san pedro cactus not 5 meo, and I just took a foot...... ohhhh but I made all those stories up. This is real. This isnt dictated by those stories, the dream might end"

I was packing it. Scared shitless.

I could feel this truth, it would unravel everything, totally, completely, for real. And its as bitter as I'm the only one there is. And I keep looking for stuff outside of me, but I'm all there is"

and it felt so fucken final, like I was about to loose everything. Way more then my ego. You. I will loose you. Everything. Complete amnesia to the point that I will forget what amnesia means because amnesia is a concept relative to this dream that is about to end.

the final ness felt so fucken scary.

The only me creating it all felt so fucken scary. Because I am completely and utterly responsible for everything that's happening here, because I am God. I created world war 2, ME I FUCKEN DID IT. Oh my god. I created world war 2, I created hitler. Really really really did. Actually. Me, as me as you can get. No one can help me but me. The whole story of the cactus was created by me to help me, but when I totally merge with God, I gotta accept the bitter pill that I'm fully calling the shots. A scary level of responsibility. No help, I need to be the most mature, manly, intelligent, positive, optimistic thing there is to handle myself, because no one else can do it but me".

And this was the biggest bitter pill I had to swallow: I said no to knowing that truth. I said no.

Me????? The most honest, committed to truth being on the planet just said no to the truth??????????????????

really??????????????????????

my entire self worth revolves around me being the honest, true one, the one that cares about truth the most.

and I just fucken said no to the truth. I just said yes to being a devil fully knowing I am one.

ohhhh my fucken god, I just did that?

speechless.

I was here talking about how corrupt you are, how corrupt the pharmaceutical industry is, people on this site, people in the psychedelic groups, the psychologists.

And I just accepted being a devil. I just did the exact thing I felt made me stand apart.

My whole identity around being the one that cares about truth, going through the spiritual path the most sincerely of all, was just shattered by the fact that I just said no to truth. I was gaming myself.

Infinite love realization - gaming myself.

No self realization - gaming myself.

Going through the spiritual path - gaming myself.

Permanent ego death - gaming myself.

Being sincere about the truth - gaming myself.

Being respectful to gurus and religions and even psychedelics - gaming myself.

Of course I'm gaming myself, if I don't know the truth(mahasamadhi) yet, whose keeping that truth away from me? Fucken me! Who else is doing it hahahahaha.

Jesus fucken christ.

Jesus fucken christ.

Jesus fucken christ.

Jesus fucken christ.

Jesus fucken christ.

... Jesus fucken christ.

 

The cactus told me "if you took LSD or dmt, you would have died (mahasmadhi) and never come back to this world again. The only reason you're here is because you got lucky. Last minute chose to do san pedro. San pedro that just happens to be the most gentle psychedelic out there"

"You just almost physically killed yourself, because if it wasn't another psychedelic, you wouldn't have had the option of saying no to truth. You would have mahasamadhied"

"doesn't matter about the chemistry and psyches not being able to kill you... you created everything and all of that and I'm telling you now, you just nearly killed yourself with your arrogance in thinking you knew everything about enlightenment already, about psyches not working for you. You just nearly mahasamadhied"

This freaked me out to absolute crazy levels because I did almost take lucy.

 

The aftermath:

I thought I had reached enlightened levels of humility, realization, and this has just showed me I'm gaming myself.

But also everyone else is gaming themselves radically too. Not just me.

And yes your insistence that there are no others, is itself a game you're playing, and I see right through that bullshit because I created you.

After the trip I found myself outside again somehow (tends to happen with san pedro) and I could feel the normies knew there was something horrifying about me without even talking to me. They all gave me weird stares.

It became crystal clear to me (outside) that on a relative level, the level people are going to hide themselves from the truth is phenomenal. The games are just makes me speechless.

This site is riddled with tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of games. That no self stuff - games, infinite love realization - games, enlightenment - games, present moment - games, nothing here but thoughts - games. Just be in the now - games.

And this site is meant to be creme of the crop. So just imagine the games of our institutions, bureaucracies, etc.

This is a way bigger matter then life or death. People dont just want me killed, the want me exterminated from even reincarnating. Beyond death level extermination.

When I was walking back, it hit me, I felt the gravity of what truth is. I felt the gravity of how much people are determined to hide from it. It blew me away(because I'm one of them!)

And i could feel the normies knew I was embodying basically their worst nightmare, and that the only reaction they could give me is fear. Because I'm dealing with people who dedicate their existence to hiding from the very thing I'm embodying, and they dedicate lifetimes and lifetimes and lifetimes to hiding from this.

I was a magnet for cops, psychologists and hospitals, thugs and criminals, because I was embodying and emitting people's worst nightmares and the only reaction to that is Jail, killing me or bashing me criminally, sending me to a psyche ward, etc. I was an attractor for all that stuff.

And so scared out of my life, I ran back home, trying to hide from everyone so they could inevitable feel the truth I was embodying, the truth that they were desperately and going to extreme lengths to hide.

 

I'm no longer the most sincere truth man. That's been absolutely smashed. I now have compassion for the trickers, because I am one myself too on a personal level, like I just caught myself saying no to truth. I cant explain how badly that wrecked my self esteem.

And I now have a trillion times greater appreciation and "siddhis" in seeing the tricks others play. I can now spot out those tricks a trillion times more easily.

And yes I am the buddha, Leo, god, I created all that stuff.

I even created meditation and yoga and during this san pedro trip report, I saw how the only reason why I believe I need meditation and yoga is because I'm gaming myself. I don't like the truth, so I created meditation and yoga so that it would bring me out of the present moment(truth) into some land of peace, happiness, infinite love, when all there is, is NOW! I was gaming myself with all those techniques. I'm even gaming myself with san pedro.

And yet, I must still take san pedro because somehow the universe is mysterious where I'm gaming myself with its creation yet I still need it to see that.

But meditation and yoga are finished for me AFAIK, unless things change, because I've just seen how those things are games. If I want to know the truth... aint hard, aint about meditation or yoga... its about doing and revealing and seeking and honestly probing what you dont want to probe. Its about instead of avoiding that thing you go and unravel it... if you dare. No that meditation and yoga stuff is you trying to hide the truth. Just go directly if you seriously care about truth.

 

Apart from that, the whole spiritual path and teachers and gurus... sorry don't agree or resonate with you guys on those things anymore at all.

Edited December 11, 2020 by electroBeam

[Nahm]

Yup.

A useful reference:

Reiki 1: Heal yourself.

Reiki 2: Help others heal. 

Reiki 3: Then teach. 

[Loving Radiance]

37 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Yup.

A useful reference:

Reiki 1: Heal yourself.

Reiki 2: Help others heal. 

Reiki 3: Then teach. 

At which level is it taught to do "distance" reiki?

[Claymoree]

I am waiting need something interesting to read!  

[Nahm]

@Loving Radiance

Great question. ‘Heal yourself’ such that no self is realized, and thus ‘levels’ are seen through, and then what can not be taught truly miraculously arises.  

[VeganAwake]

1 hour ago, electroBeam said:

I go places that others aren't willing to go.

Who is "I" that apparently goes places?

Thoughts seem to go places and when there's identification as them, it feels like real progress.

Nobody's actually going anywhere.

Freedom is stepping off the habitual thought train. ❤

[electroBeam]

Appreciate the love in the responses. I'm just seeing games though. I'm not interested in battling your beliefs about what "teaching" and "reiki" means. Neither in battling your understanding of what "I" means.

Please take what I've written as a case study so you don't fall into the same traps as I did. Thats the best way to use this trip report.

[fridjonk]

Nothing like a psychedelic humbling  

Also, I'd think that this mahasamadhi thing I've seen countless people talk about, that they "could have", but didn't. It's just a fear stopping you from complete ego death, fear of losing that point of perceiver, or "awareness" of consciousness.

Personally, I think you'll never achieve Mahasamadhi on a psychedelic no matter how convinced you are of it, you need a real spiritual gift such as Sadhguru, Ramana, Yogananda, or Mahavatar Babaji possessed. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by fridjonk

[Exystem]

Wow, thanks for your sharing @electroBeam! To swallow the truth completely you must eat up yourself, which seems to be an impossible task for a human. I fail constantly on that regard. I also see that in the end, no matter how deep my awakenings, I'm still left with only knowing that I don't know. People claim to have realized absolute truth but I still don't know whether a knowledge of absolute truth even exists. Doesn't knowledge imply a kind of seperation between knower and known? I'm just left being whatever I am, the one and only great mystery. I'm grateful for your honesty, I really appreciate that. It reminds me to stay humble and not to claim to know something I don't know. I know nothing, just that my mind can get f*cking twisted and insanely deluded.
And I know this masochistic tendency quite well, too. Always looking for a bad trip to reveal more shadows. But this spiritual seeking seems just to be a level up in this strangeloop of simulations, a next bite into my own infinite tail. Next level hypocrisy.

[Adamq8]

Awesome trip report.

I can relate so much.

On my lsd trip I knew that spirituality and life and death is just a story.

This kind of trips is no joke.

I also had the option to let go of the entire created world but was to scared to do it.

My living room actually slowly dissolved into a black hole but god damn how much i resisted it and it went away.

[Seraphim]

If you didn't know about mahasamadhi before this trip, would the cactus have told you that you would die if you took that last step? Maybe you were just delusional and talking to your thoughts, and you were paranoid right? There are no thoughts in samadhi-states. And why would you take responsibility for those historical events? That thought exists within the mind of a human, that human is only a tiny part of God You are not God but yes everything is the Self.

[Exystem]

37 minutes ago, fridjonk said:

Personally, I think you'll never achieve Mahasamadhi on a psychedelic no matter how convinced you are of it, you need a real spiritual gift such as Sadhguru, Ramana, Yogananda, or Mahavatar Babaji possessed. 

Well, first of all I don't believe in Mahasamadhi. Still don't understand how anyone in history would have been able to achieve it when "I" as the appearence of this world obviously exist. And the small individual self dies anyway. So all the stories about mahasamadhi are just made up by yourself in order to give you the reassuring illusion of a choice to annihilate yourself. Whatever self annihilates whatever self. Have never heard of a convincing mahasamdhi concept so far... Maybe someone can clear me up?

And on the other hand, the whole world is your body. So no matter whether you have the right chemicals already in the brain or you seem to take them from the outside - remember, inside and outside are one. A spiritual gift may be the right genetics as well as the right drugs. "To posses the spiritual gift" - why making this radical distinction between inside and outside the bodymind when the distinction itself is an illusion?

[GreenWoods]

@electroBeam Thanks for sharing! Very interesting to read.

For a few months, when I read trip reports, I sometimes somehow seem to pick up some of its energy/actuality to such an extend that it has a noticable effect on my state of consciousness. This report has had the most effect so far.

trippy reading 

Edited December 11, 2020 by GreenWoods

[James123]

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

Of course I'm gaming myself, if I don't know the truth(mahasamadhi) yet, whose keeping that truth away from me? Fucken me!

Mahasamadhi is forgetting everything that you have learned or known. Geniounly not knowing.

Edited December 11, 2020 by James123

[James123]

1 hour ago, fridjonk said:

Personally, I think you'll never achieve Mahasamadhi on a psychedelic no matter how convinced you are of it, you need a real spiritual gift such as Sadhguru, Ramana, Yogananda, or Mahavatar Babaji possessed. 

There is no self to achieve mahasamadhi . It is just a word or thought, as self or universe. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by James123

[abrakamowse]

@electroBeam So beautiful that I am about to cry. Thanks!!!

[GreenWoods]

3 minutes ago, James123 said:

There is no self to achieve mahasamadhi . It is just a word or thought, as self or universe. 

But that word is pointing to something. If the physical body dies as a result of too much consciousness, then that's mahasamadhi. Mahasamadhi does not depend on there being a self.

[James123]

7 minutes ago, GreenWoods said:

But that word is pointing to something. If the physical body dies as a result of too much consciousness, then that's mahasamadhi. Mahasamadhi does not depend on there being a self.

Unfortunately no. Whatever you say is just a thought. There is no body. Whatever you have learned, just forget everything, thats mahasamadhi. You can not get this with psychedelics, because there is a still thought process. You have to forget everything. There is no such a thing as self, how can you achieve mahasamashi? It is just a word as self, or chair or mind. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by James123

[abrakamowse]

This is fucking deep... nothing to do or think... just be

[James123]

7 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

This is fucking deep... nothing to do or think... just be

Thats what we are brother. Endless and deepest sleep but awake. That’s why you are dreaming now. Your real self is just being, as sleeping.