People Pleaser

[DebCM]

Hello..I'm 36 and have suffered the last 10 years with my need to please others and win over the approval of people that I associate with on all levels.  I was once a person who was known as the "no fucks given" type.  Got married, had kids and somewhere along the way, I changed.  I feel really bad about myself as I'm always worried about how others think of me (do they hate me, did I piss them off, are they happy with their relationship with me) to the point that I don't function normally and I'm suffering from not taking care of myself.

Any advice in this area would be appreciated.  If you have been through this and found a way to stop being a doormat and taking better care of you, please let me know how.

Thanks!

 

[Christian]

I think when you are a people pleaser, you have a fundamental belief which is something like: What people think about me matters. What people pleasers do is they seek approval because of their beliefs and that is ultimately the root cause. 

 I would reccomend questioning the underlying belief/beliefs that drive your need to please and gain awareness around how you are pleasing other people. That way, you will chip away slowly and over time break free of the pattern.

Good luck  

 

[Empty]

There is a great book called " No More Mr Nice, guy". Simply, practice the principle in that book. The only thing missing in that book, I guess, is meditation. Add a daily habit of meditation of 20 mins or more. Things will get better, I assure you   

Apart from that, There is nothing wrong with being nice, never was, never will!! 

[Augustus]

When a People Pleaser dies, he see the life of someone else flash before his eyes.

- Someone

Edited September 24, 2016 by Augustus