Has anyone managed to keep a tight friend group/social circle after school?

[LordFall]

After watching Leos recent video on college, I realized that only thing that would make me go(I have never been and I'm 25) is the social life aspect on it. I remember my high school days very fondly and a lot of people that went to college tell me the same.

 

It's not only about having friends too, I actually have a lot of friends that I hangout with each week. It's about the whole structure of seeing the same few hundred people over and over again and working together on similar things and living similar lives. Seeing friends a couple times a week just doesn't give me the same feeling of community.

I'm curious how your guys friend groups are and how fulfilling do you feel about it? I came up with this vision of a big social circle (10-50) that are all friends and work together, live together, travel together and it seems like it'd be a much more warm way to live than the isolated cities with a few friends/relationships that we have now.

[aurum]

@LordFall

I'm with you on this. I absolutely loved the community feel in college of living amongst everyone you knew. It seems so strange to me that as soon as we become adults we immediately isolate ourselves into own boxes.

Of course, people should live whatever lifestyle brings them the most happiness. But I do question that if it wasn't a societal norm, how many people would really choose that life?

This is also why I'm so interested in ecovillages these days. Beyond the environmental benefits, there seems to be immense social and community benefits to that lifestyle.

You might also want to look into ecovillages. There isn't a whole lot of traveling together but you would be living and working together.

[LordFall]

14 hours ago, aurum said:

@LordFall

This is also why I'm so interested in ecovillages these days. Beyond the environmental benefits, there seems to be immense social and community benefits to that lifestyle.

You might also want to look into ecovillages. There isn't a whole lot of traveling together but you would be living and working together.

Ooh, thank you for the suggestion! I remember looking into one in BC(I think it was branded smart villages) and it all revolved around working together to produce art and sustainable technology and live in the BC mountains. Sounded heavenly. 

I really would want @Leo Gura to talk about this because your point here

14 hours ago, aurum said:

@LordFall

Of course, people should live whatever lifestyle brings them the most happiness. But I do question that if it wasn't a societal norm, how many people would really choose that life?

is a fantastic point. I don't know enough history to understand when the shift happened but big cities are made to promote individualism and you end up living away from your friends/family. How can this be fulfilling? I think owning your own business and being able to hang around your best friends/loved ones all the time is the best path for complete fulfillment. I'd be curious to hear more about it and see what kind of plans people have around it! 

[Chives99]

nope everyones moved away, i still keep in touch online though and see people passing through sometimes

[aurum]

5 hours ago, LordFall said:

Ooh, thank you for the suggestion! I remember looking into one in BC(I think it was branded smart villages) and it all revolved around working together to produce art and sustainable technology and live in the BC mountains. Sounded heavenly. 

Yeah that sounds excellent. There are smart villages, regen villages, ecovillages, transition towns, intentional communities and probably many others. A lot of crossover between them.

5 hours ago, LordFall said:

is a fantastic point. I don't know enough history to understand when the shift happened but big cities are made to promote individualism and you end up living away from your friends/family. How can this be fulfilling? I think owning your own business and being able to hang around your best friends/loved ones all the time is the best path for complete fulfillment. I'd be curious to hear more about it and see what kind of plans people have around it! 

My understanding is that this individualistic way of living arose simultaneously with our current economic / financial system.

The very basis of capitalism is that we are individual economic agents. You have your own bank account, your own career, your own bills, your own private property, etc. Sometimes these individuals team up, as in the case of a business, but at the end of the day your well being is largely still separate from others. My co-worker can get fired while at the same time I get a raise. You can fail to pay your rent while your next door neighbor is thriving.

I find this to be highly unnatural. In a tribal situation, the difference between your well being and the rest of the tribe is essentially non-existent. This excessive individualism born from stage orange is destructive. And it also reflects a lower level of consciousness where we can even believe that individualism is possible.

What this means for the future of the cities / suburbs model, I don't know. But we are already seeing people flee the cities in big numbers right now. My thinking is that "small" and "local" is going to become the new normal, while at the same time integrating some of the good that has come from globalization.

[UNZARI]

man i’m going through this right now and can relate to you on college for the social aspect. the only thing i liked about high school was the sense of community and hanging out with friends after school like you said. i left my hometown for a year after i graduated and went on a little adventure, didn’t see any friends for a year, just lived with my girlfriend.

when i came back to my hometown i was expecting all those fond feelings of friendship and community, but instead i felt empty because those things were already long gone

now i have a good circle of friends and a best friend. but i will say it just isn’t the same. i’ve learned to adapt but i do wonder if i should go to college just to get a sweet taste of it just one more time. also covid makes things hard

i don’t want to worry u though like you guys have been talking about above there are many other options 

[liamnewsom202]

Nope man kinda drifted from my high school buddies

[mandyjw]

I made some really strong friendships in highschool. I don't get to see them nearly as often but when we do see each other it's just as awesome as it always was. 

[bonnieshona]

I’m pretty sure that’s not difficult, call and text every once in a while(even a month or so is normal), hang out if your friends live in the same city and I’m pretty sure you’ll remain friends.

[LordFall]

On 18/12/2020 at 2:59 PM, bonnieshona said:

I’m pretty sure that’s not difficult, call and text every once in a while(even a month or so is normal), hang out if your friends live in the same city and I’m pretty sure you’ll remain friends.

That's not really the same thing. I don't lack friends. I have 25 people I could call right now. Still doesn't feel like a community. It doesn't feel like a shared life adventure, more like we each do our own thing and reconvene once in a while to reminisce and not feel lonely.

I want shared adventure. Shared journey. Like a guild in an MMO. The closest thing I'm thinking is I have a lot of friends that are close to my age (22-27) that are into business and entrepreneurship. Already both of my roommates are into online business and partying the same way I am. I want to get a few more friends to rent another condo in our same building so we can meetup almost everyday and collab on shooting content, making money online and hanging out. This would be a lot more urban of an ideal than a regular ecovillage.

If anyone has other ideas surrounding this, let me know!