First 2 months in a corporate job and my thoughts

[GroovyGuru]

No way. Absolutely nooooo freaking way I can do this all my life. It's only been 2 months and I feel like I'm having a crisis lol.

This is my first real job out of college and it's for a really large international corporation. It's a decent entry level job and all but today I really felt my dispassion and indifference to the job on another level. 

So much of my day is completely wasted on doing nothing. I am probably productive for less than half of the day simply because there just isn't enough work for me to do. I literally spent 3 hours today just wiggling my mouse around while trying to think of what the hell to do with my life. The main struggle I'm dealing with is that I just seriously do not care. I don't care about my company, I don't care about my coworkers, I don't care about my job, I don't care about any of it. That isn't to suggest that I'm naturally a cold person with a heart of stone, I can in fact be very passionate and excited if it's about things that interest me.

It's just super hard for me to imagine progressing my career with a corporation because I'm just not motivated enough or care enough to really put in the hard work to earn promotions and stuff. It's hard to imagine ever becoming invested in work that I did not create or can be proud of. I'm not a lazy person whatsoever. I constantly work hard on myself trying to improve and learn every single day. I meditate. I do yoga. I exercise every day. I eat healthy. I journal. I read. I contemplate. I've never felt so motivated and inspired to figure out who I really am and what I want out of life than now. I can't even bear the thought of working a corporate job for more than a few years. I'm deliberately putting about 90% of every paycheck towards student loans so I can be totally debt free in less than a year to give myself room and freedom to explore opportunities if I need to later.

Discovering myself and trying to concoct a vision for what I want to do with my life is the hardest challenge I've ever taken on. I just don't know  what it is. I know it's out there for me to eventually come across or perhaps intuit but I can't seem to find my purpose or vision no matter how hard I try. Perhaps I'm not trying nearly hard enough. I'll need to, because it's become crystal fucking clear that a corporate job is just not for me. It's become crystal clear just how important having purpose is. What the hell am I doing here if I don't have a mission? What's the fucking point? I need to figure this out, and I need to figure it out ASAP, before the clock starts to tick and the chains of wage slavery tighten their grip.

[Barbara]

This would be literally me, if I got a corporate job.

How long would you need to stay there to be debt free?

[GroovyGuru]

2 minutes ago, Barbara said:

This would be literally me, if I got a corporate job.

How long would you need to stay there to be debt free?

If I continue to be super aggressive with it (which I will) then anywhere between 8-11 months. 

[Barbara]

Is it ok for me to ask what's the job about? Or what did you graduated in?

[GroovyGuru]

1 hour ago, Barbara said:

Is it ok for me to ask what's the job about? Or what did you graduated in?

Sure. 

I got my degree in finance. My job required a finance, accounting, or other relevant degree although the actual work I do has little to do with finance and is actually more in the supply chain area. The title is called Business Claims Analyst.

[SourceCodo]

Mind over matter. Sacrifices are made in this life to get the things we want. Use it as a springboard into something more aligned with who you are. 
 

Join an organization that you really care for and want to see succeed. That might make work more meaningful and easier to stick with - this is what I’m doing until I find another direction. You’ll also have time for productive hobbies like personal development (easy to do alongside the work day). 
 

These jobs all feel so unnatural. I’ve been an analyst for a bit over 8 years now and it’s been a struggle. It’s a super chill way to make a good amount of money, but you sacrifice a bit of what you’d otherwise want to do for it. That’s a bitch.

But hey! You can always quit and start a business or join a commune. Good luck, have fun. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by SourceCodo

[aurum]

3 hours ago, GroovyGuru said:

Discovering myself and trying to concoct a vision for what I want to do with my life is the hardest challenge I've ever taken on. I just don't know  what it is. I know it's out there for me to eventually come across or perhaps intuit but I can't seem to find my purpose or vision no matter how hard I try. Perhaps I'm not trying nearly hard enough. I'll need to, because it's become crystal fucking clear that a corporate job is just not for me. It's become crystal clear just how important having purpose is. What the hell am I doing here if I don't have a mission? What's the fucking point? I need to figure this out, and I need to figure it out ASAP, before the clock starts to tick and the chains of wage slavery tighten their grip.

Follow your interests. If "finding your purpose" seems too daunting, and it definitely can be, just pay attention to what feels genuinely good.

The good news is that while your job might be soul sucking, you'll be able to use that money to fund whatever your next project is. That's a big deal.

[Leo Gura]

Life Purpose Course says Hello Handsome and spreads her legs for you

[GroovyGuru]

@Leo Gura Oh I have it don’t you worry. Although I stopped about 65% of the way through right when I got this job. But I’m going to make it a mission to finish it and then go back and do many parts of it again and again and again

[Leo Gura]

@GroovyGuru Use that dead time at work to plan out your LP. I built half my first biz that way.

[Space]

9 hours ago, GroovyGuru said:

So much of my day is completely wasted on doing nothing. I am probably productive for less than half of the day simply because there just isn't enough work for me to do. I literally spent 3 hours today just wiggling my mouse around while trying to think of what the hell to do with my life. The main struggle I'm dealing with is that I just seriously do not care. I don't care about my company, I don't care about my coworkers, I don't care about my job, I don't care about any of it. 

This pretty much describes my first corporate job as well. I often spent 3pm-5:30pm with absolutely nothing to do and obviously I couldn't just open up Youtube or browse the internet. It was very depressing. I know you aren't planning on staying in the job long but it usually does get better with time. The more comfortable I got in the job, the more knowledge of the job, the better the days went.

My saving grace was Covid actually, because ever since April 2020 i've been working from home. I'm surprised you are working in an office at the moment? All that time that I would have spent doing absolutely nothing, I now do exactly whatever the hell I want. Being able to work from home is literally amazing tbh. Maybe try and find a different job which is allowing employees to work from home?

[Barbara]

@GroovyGuru Have you thought about freelancing? 

Just search freelance finance jobs or something like that and there’s a lot of stuff you could do, that maybe are even more interesting. To be a freelancer I think you need to be autonomous and comfortable with being self taught.  The money can be good (this is relative tho) and you would be working from home

[tsuki]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@GroovyGuru Use that dead time at work to plan out your LP. I built half my first biz that way.

@GroovyGuru THIS. Milk that corporation dry.

[Hello from Russia]

Dude, what an opportunity to contemplate/think about LP or sharpen your vision for half of the day

P.S. Yeah, these corporate jobs suck ass

[Hello from Russia]

4 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

This way I've graduated from my naturopathic school.... and not a single person every found out. 

Lmao, nice 

[GroovyGuru]

7 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

@Leo Gura

How long can someone leave the LPC before returning to it or if it's left for too long does that person have to start over?

For every sub-section of the course I wrote an entire page of notes. I went out and bought a notebook just for the LP course so I can always go back to specific sections re-read the key points and ideas that were made. I don't think one would ever have to start over as long as they take some notes but some of the exercises and practices can definitely be done multiple times I'd say.

[GroovyGuru]

4 hours ago, Space said:

My saving grace was Covid actually, because ever since April 2020 i've been working from home. I'm surprised you are working in an office at the moment? All that time that I would have spent doing absolutely nothing, I now do exactly whatever the hell I want. Being able to work from home is literally amazing tbh. Maybe try and find a different job which is allowing employees to work from home?

@Space I do work from home 

I agree that working from home is absolutely incredible, it's so hard for me to imagine ever going back into the office now. I have so much freedom and independence and comfort to work at my own pace and do things the way I like. During my downtime there are a million things I can do. I can read, work on myself, do yoga etc but honestly up until this point I've been having trouble actually accepting the fact that sometimes there just isn't anything to do for hours. I'm constantly wondering if it's like this for other people or if I'm simply just not given enough work. But I think going forward I'm just going to accept that reality, take advantage of the fact that I'm at home, and do whatever the hell I want.

[GroovyGuru]

@Michael569 Wow. Those are all really great tips that I will definitely remember. Thank you

[Space]

@GroovyGuru That's awesome then! So you're working from home, but you're still sitting there doing nothing for hours? I don't get it. Why aren't you using your time more wisely? Surely, at the very least, you can just entertain yourself online - Youtube, podcasts, interviews etc, tv shows? Meditate?

[GroovyGuru]

@Space I haven’t literally been doing nothing. I have music playing basically all day and I do go on YouTube and take little breaks to stretch out or read or browse the forum like I am right now. 

Like I said, I just had trouble accepting the fact that sometimes there’s just nothing to do. I had this fantasy that a corporate job meant non-stop slave work all day. And if I was doing nothing, it would be noticed and frowned upon. Now I’m learning it’s normal and other people sometimes have nothing to do either. So going forward I’m going to be more deliberate with what I do with downtime and try to mainly use that time to work on myself and continue learning