Muy Bien

[Preety_India]

"I'm not interested in your dirty attraction games" 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Signed into the forum 15 mins ago. 

That is 11.00 am. DECEMBER 15, 2020. 

can't believe this torturous year is coming to an end. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

It's just not about forgiveness anymore 

It's about simply cutting off the toxic supply, not being a doormat anymore. 

Not allowing a repetition of past mistakes and experiences. 

Not letting in the same people. 

Keeping toxic people out for good. One strike rule. One violation. Finish. 

Keeping your own wellbeing as a priority. 

Not falling for the same shit again 

It's not about "forgive him" and move on and let him in again.. 

It's about truly moving on and not being a fool anymore. 

Because there is a problem with forgiveness. It's giving another chance to the person to treat you wrong. 

By cutting off, you stop the throbbing. 

You don't allow it to happen again. 

You don't allow yourself to be taken for granted 

You make a statement. 

You don't give out free handouts. 

You make them earn your respect in a proper manner. 

You don't give them more chances to be disrespectful. 

So it's not so much forgiveness but more about self protection against future lapses in behavior 

 

It's about claiming your right to respect. 

And even if you forgive you can still cut off. 

It's about cutting off yourself from the source of toxicity. 

(sometimes forgiveness becomes an excuse. Forgiveness shouldn't be misused. Forgiveness should not be an alternative duct for that person to repeat the hurt. They should respect your forgiveness ) making a statement that you say no to toxic behavior and that you're smart enough to not put up with it. 

You have to shut off the toxic tap from supplying toxicity in your life. 

You make this life a  golden ball that is free from any toxic residue. It's just pure. 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

(Signed into the forum just now.) 

Come back to the garden in 1 hour approx. 

Need to prune leaves.. 

 

[Preety_India]

The need to understand and recover.

Letter to self 

I know how you are feeling. You are feeling cold, abandoned, lonely, helpless and cast aside. 

But please don't be hard on yourself. Soon it's all going to go away. Things will be good. 

I know things have been pretty rough. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Signed into the forum - 2 mins ago. 

12.30 am. 

It's December 16. 

Am I really okay? 

 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I usually get a lot of dreams. Dreams hold a value to me. They tell you something that the subconscious mind is probably trying to tell you. 

This dream felt awkward. Not a  nightmare. 

Just an awkward dream. In the dream, I might lose or win. I'm wearing a full back dress.. Like a black gown. 

And I am being told that I need to be soft to myself. 

I'm good at predicting things. So people come to me for predictions. 

I'm getting famous for predictions. 

Yet  I'm feeling very lonely and misunderstood. 

So this guy, nice looking guy approaches me and tells me that I need to put more time in myself.. 

 

[Preety_India]

What was the main emotion in the dream? 

The feeling of being abandoned. 

 

[Preety_India]

So I want to do this daily awareness exercise 

I will combine it with some daily emotional assessment exercises. All mixed up. 

 

[Preety_India]

Singed into the forum just now 

Timestamp December 16, 9.30am. 

 

*signed. 

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

seeking_brilliance

Breathe in slowly and deeply. Your bated breath and the golden light of love floods every cell, wrapping you in a warm and fuzzy blanket.

 

10.

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9.

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8.

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7.

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6.

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5.

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4.

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3.

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2.

 

?

 

1.

 

?

 

CLICK HERE

 

.... And now let it all go. 

 

Breathe and relax, gently returning to the familiar world.  

 

To complete this check in, think back to what you were doing right before this thread was opened. Each time you perform this daily awareness check in, please answer the questions below by leaving a comment:

 

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important?

 

2. How did you get there?

 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in?

 

5. Am I dreaming? 

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Daily Awareness Check in (to be repeated every hour) 

 

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important?

I was tending and pruning the garden in the morning. 

 

 

2. How did you get there?

walking. 

 

 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

Yea. 

 

 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in?

I decided to remind myself. I was distracted by the forum for some time. 

 

 

5. Am I dreaming? 

No.. I'm wide awake and I slept well last night. 

 

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Multi-Awareness and Emotional Assessment Daily Test. Timestamp included. 

Emotional assessment worksheet 

(Taken from a website) 

 

 

What's your name? 

Preety. 

 

 

What are your general goals? 

Health, work, study 

 

How is your day so far? 

Not good. 

 

How did you feel when you woke up today? 

Better than yesterday. 

 

 

Did you eat breakfast? 

Yes. 

 

 

Did you sleep well? 

Yes 

 

Are you feeling depressed or upset? 

Not really. But I'm still overall gloomy. 

 

How do you feel right now? And why do you feel that way? 

I feel bad because everyday feels like a struggle to get anything done. I don't feel the motivation. 

 

Are you calm right now? 

A bit.

 

 

What is something you did today that you'd love to do every day?

Tending garden. 

 

 

What do you know today that you didn't know yesterday?

To be stronger and stop toxic people 

 

 

Are you feeling emotionally tensed or vulnerable/sensitive right now ? Why/why not ? 

Yes. Because I had a bad day yesterday. 

 

 

What is the one thing that you'd like to get done today? 

Cook good food. 

 

 

How is your progress with your daily goals so far? 

Not good. 

 

 

Did you get your work done? Do you feel motivated enough? 

No. 

 

 

Do you feel you're focused enough ? 

No. 

 

 

How do you plan to get your work done? 

By focusing hard. 

 

 

How are you dealing with traumatic thoughts /memories today? 

Trying to distract myself. 

 

 

How has your day been ? 

Can't tell right now because it's morning. The day has just begun. 

 

 

Are you coping well? 

No. 

 

 

Do you think you're in the right direction? 

A bit. But I want my direction more refined. 

 

 

What do you expect for tomorrow? 

To get my work done faster and be on track and healing of my trauma. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So I've been chatting with my psychiatrist on my message box/Skype  chat. 

And I'll be posting our conversations so far. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

So these are the conversations between me and the psychologist. She is female 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I felt better after talking to  to the psych

[Preety_India]

The men that I consider attractive look wise 

Burt Lancaster 

 

 

 

Rudolph Valentino 

 

 

 

 

Franco Nero 

 

 

 

 

Steven Berkoff

 

 

 

 

Kirk Douglas 

 

 

[egoeimai]

@Preety_India these covos remind me of 7cups. I used to be there. Old times. 

Edited December 16, 2020 by egoeimai
Convos

[Preety_India]

@egoeimai hehe