Nourishment

[soos_mite_ah]

12/23/2020 Food Diary 

Today I woke up feeling bloated. That felt odd to me because I have been avoiding foods that cause me to get bloated and I didn't eat all that much in the last few days. Then I found out that bloating can be caused by not having enough calories in your diet or being super restrictive. That wasn't my intention, my appetite has been kind of low lately.  But today I decided to make it a point to eat more than usual to see if that would help. 

Breakfast: 

2 slices of gluten free toast with an avocado and an egg: I wanted to go for one toast but I figured I go for 2 because of how I was feeling

Lunch: 

Zucchini noodles: These zucchini noodles are accompanied by broccoli, shredded carrots, onions, garlic, mushrooms, and bell peppers. I sautéed them in olive oil and added red pepper powder as well as some salt. Today I also added some chicken into the mix for extra calories and protein.

Snack: 

Chips and hummus: The way I make my chips is by ripping a gluten free tortilla in a few pieces and pop it into the toaster. As for the hummus, I have been really enjoying this artichoke and spinach hummus I got at the super market. I pair this with a little bit of olive oil, some basic, red chili powder, and a few olives. I also added a touch of tahini because I just bought some today and I never had tahini before so I decided to try some. Turns out I really like it and I can't wait to incorporate this into my recipes. 

Dinner: 

Vegetable soup: I chopped up some brussel sprouts, bok choy, carrots, mushrooms, broccoli, onions, green beans chives, garlic, and ginger and put all that into some low sodium vegetable broth. I also added some water as well as some olive oil, garlic powder, red chili powder, and cilantro. I had all that cook together until all of the vegetables were cooked and the soup was boiling. Then I decided to add a little bit of the chicken that I had left over marinating from lunch. I marinated the chicken in a little bit of yogurt, salt, pepper, and basil. I had two bowls of this soup. 

Snack: 

Banana with peanut butter, cinnamon, and a little bit of honey: I craving a little bit of sweetness so I opted for this as my desert. I was already feeling relatively full after dinner but I ate this anyway and I felt REALLY full afterwards. Even though my sweet tooth was satisfied, I'd say that I misjudged my hunger/ fullness que.  

Flax seeds: I just bought these seeds today and I wanted to try them and see how they tasted so I had about a spoonful of them. I can see myself adding this to toast, salads, meats, and even my banana and peanut butter combination.  

Edited December 24, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

12/24/2020 Food Diary 

I woke up feeling really full. I felt better than last night but I still didn't want to eat. While I did feel full, I didn't feel bloated anymore. I think I was right on how the bloating likely had to do with me not getting enough calories for a few days straight.  

Breakfast: 

Vanilla almond milk with coffee and hot coco mix: I don't normally drink coffee but because I felt really full I thought that this would act as a laxative and hopefully clean out my system. It helped a little bit but I think only time will help me digest everything. I still felt full for the rest of the day but it wasn't anything bad. I added some hot coco mix because I really don't like the taste of coffee and this just makes it taste better to me. 

Lunch: 

Salmon: Wild caught salmon cooked in olive oil with garlic, Italian seasoning, red pepper powder, turmeric, onion powder, garlic powder, and parsley. I also include onions and bell peppers when making this salmon. I love fish and I tend to make salmon in bulk once a week. I also added a spoonful of flax seeds as well. 

Vegetable soup: This is the same soup from the night before. It had brussel sprouts, bok choy, carrots, mushrooms, broccoli, onions, green beans chives, garlic, and ginger all in some low sodium vegetable broth. The soup also had some water as well as some olive oil, garlic powder, red chili powder, and cilantro. I only had one bowl this time 

Snack: 

A small handful of peanuts: I really just wanted something crunchy mid day. 

Two chocolate orange slice: I went to my aunt's house for Christmas Eve and she gave me a chocolate orange. I ate one slice to show some appreciation. Then I remembered how much I loved these as a kid. I love chocolate in general but I think my actual love lies in dark chocolate paired with fruit flavors.  

A little bit of turkey: This was also at my aunt's house. She offered some turkey, sweets, and other snacks but I still felt really full. Nevertheless I also wanted to taste a little bit of turkey. The slice I had was about a third of the palm of my hand. 

Dinner: 

Salmon: The same as the one I had for lunch. I added some flax seeds again. I had one more slice of salmon left and I thought I'd just go ahead and finish it. 

Cauliflower fried rice: made with onions, bell peppers, and olive oil

 

[soos_mite_ah]

 

[soos_mite_ah]

Future Goals

I have included a quote from earlier this month to track my progress. While it seems like a short time between now and then, I have been working on this for a couple of weeks before starting this journal so it has been roughly a month since I started this journey (I started around thanks giving). The red stuff is what I'm going to be tackling next. The bolded words next to the crossed out black letters is the progress that I feel I have made so far. On the contrary. I'm planning on introducing soy into my diet. 

So in short my future goals going forward include: 

• Reducing the amount of meat I eat outside the house 
• Reducing sugar by doing the following: 
  • avoiding ice cream
  • switching gluten free tortilla chips with celery 
  • focus on portion control when it comes to desserts in social situations 
• Getting rid of my chocolate cravings 
• Introducing soy in the form of tofu and miso

On 12/9/2020 at 2:22 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

 

Things to avoid

• ***Wheat 
• Corn
• Sugar
• Soy
• Dairy
• Artificial Chemicals

 

Never buy again:

1. Dairy I have been doing pretty well with going dairy free. I think I have a tendency to have it on occasion but going dairy free has been more of a habit that is really forming with me. 
2. All chips   I realized that I don't have much of a problem with chips. Giving it up wasn't much of a problem tbh. When I did have a chip craving however, I popped a gluten free tortilla in the toaster after tearing it and it came out crunchy like a chip. I don't typically add any salt or anything to my "chips" 
3. Frozen deserts  Ice cream is my other weakness. I'm thinking of quitting this because I recently noticed how badly I break out.  I have done well on avoiding it. I did have icecream a couple of times only to realize i didn't enjoy it as I used to or as I anticipate it when I do crave it. I am well under way of getting rid of this from my diet. 
4. No bread of any kind
5. ***All wheat containing products  Ok this and cutting out bread is a huge thing for me. I'll probably tackle this later
6. All pre-made salad dressings
7. Ketchup, sauces  Both this and the salad dressing thing is really a matter of convenience but I guess I could be more mindful when shopping I'm pretty mindful of the ingredients that are in my sauces and salad dressings (or I opt for plain balsamic vinegar) . I don't buy anything that has ingredients that I can't recognize or that has a lot of sugar. The only exception to this is this maggi hot and sweet sauce that is in the fridge but I don't use it often. 
8. no milk chocolate  I'm going to try to give up chocolate. I have noticed my cravings wane lately and I think it is in a more manageable place but I feel that I can do better. I may be introducing chocolate to my diet in my food diary but I am doing this to get rid of the novelty behind it. More on that later. 
9. Corn-Fed meat I recently found that my mom buys free range chickens so in a way I have made the switch. But this is in red because I tend to eat meat outside the house from restaurants. 
10. Corn-fed eggs   This is out of my budget at the moment. 
11. Sugar  Again, like the bread thing, this is huge so I'll tackle this later.  Going to tackle this now
12. Atlantic salmon & Tuna -> Go for wild fish  I recently made the switch it was relatively easy
13. Soy  I switched the soy milk for almond milk and it wasn't that big of a deal. I also have soy sauce every now and then but it isn't a problem. It isn't in my house.      (Ok but I recently found some sources that say that miso and tofu can be good for people with PCOS so I'm thinking of introducing this to my diet) 
14. Soda
15. Avoid Candy
16. Pasteurized fruit juice (cooked at high heat)
17. Corn products
18. No pre-made meals (also no frozen meals)
19. Salamis, Hams, Bacon etc.
20. No canned & processed meats
21. Store made sandwiches, wraps, pasta-salads
22. Dried soups & Dried noodles
23. Whey protein
24. Protein bars & shakes
25. Avoid Canola oil, palm oil, Safflower Oil      I never had 14-25 in my house ever growing up
26. Avoid coffee & alcohol  Hated the taste of both of these. I only drink a couple coffees during finals week which is 2x a year for me. 
27. Butter Substitutes  Switched to avocados on toast a long time ago because it tastes better
28. Artificial Sweeteners  Don't care for it. Don't have anything to add sweetener to. 

I'm also including a quote from a thread I made yesterday pertaining to me letting go of sugar. I decided to quit sugar because I feel that I'm in a better place to do so since a lot of my cravings are under control and because I noticed myself having an increased sensitivity to sweet things. I had a piece of caramel candy a couple days ago and normally I would enjoy it but this time I wanted to spit it out. I have also made comments to it in bold when it comes to  how I should tweak things. I crossed out things that I shouldn't worry about. Again as usual, red is where I'm focusing on at the moment. 

On 12/24/2020 at 3:29 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

I'm thinking of cutting out sugar from my diet but I'm not sure how to go about it or how far should I go. 

Lately, my sugar habits look like this. This probably isn't everything but it is everything I have thought of off the top of my head and from my food journal I keep

• Multiple times a week I have a banana with a little bit of honey. I'm not a huge fruit person but I really like bananas. Also I like lemons and limes in a variety of recipes. The banana isn't really an issue but I can let go of the honey. I haven't done the honey thing too many times but I need to be mindful so it doesn't become a habit. I am considering adding in other fruits for variety. Fruits aren't bad for you even though it may have sugar because the body processes this differently.
• I'm huge on vegetables. To me some have a natural sweetness to them such as when it comes to tomatoes, red peppers, and celery. The sugars in this comes from a natural source. Focus on added sugar. 
• I like to chew gum
• I love chocolate. I don't have it in the house but I catch myself going a little crazy when I'm near it lol.
• I used to have sweetened vanilla almond milk every now (maybe a couple times every other week or so) but I switched to unsweetened fairly recently. I'm already under way with implementing this. I don't have sweetened almond milk in the house any more because it makes my food taste weird when I add it to recipes. As a result, I don't really think it's a problem tbh. 
• I have a couple slices or one slice of gluten free toast every other day or so. 
• I have a gluten free tortilla a couple times a week. I normally have this when I have chip cravings and eat them with hummus. I'm going to switch them out with celery and see how that works. 
• Maybe once a month or so I might have a soda. I'm losing taste for soda. I tried to have one a month ago and couldn't get through half because it was so sweet.  
• I have ice cream like once every other week but I am in the process of cutting down.
• I like using balsamic vinegar in my salads. The sugars in this comes from a natural source. Focus on added sugar. 
• I'm trying to cut down on sauces but I do have them on occasion out of convenience. I switched a lot of sauces to ones with better ingredients and less added sugar. I think I'm good for the most part. 
• I also add sugar to coffee but I have coffee once every few months. Not important, I already don't have it regularly. 
• I indulge with deserts when I'm at a social gathering or when I'm with friends. Focus on portion control

[soos_mite_ah]

12/25/2020 Food Diary 

Lunch: 

1 boiled egg 

Zucchini Noodles:  These zucchini noodles are accompanied by brussel sprouts, shredded carrots, onions, garlic, mushrooms, and bell peppers. I sautéed them in olive oil and added red pepper powder as well as some salt. I also added a couple spoonfuls of flaxseeds for an extra crunch. 

 

Snack:

1 banana with peanut butter and cinnamon: I sometimes put honey on this but I'm trying to cut down on sweets so I skipped that. But I noticed that the sweetness of the banana was enough for me to scratch my sweet tooth. 

Hummus and celery: I had artichoke and spinach hummus and I added some olives and some red chili powder. I normally have this with a gluten free that I pop in the toaster to make chips but I'm trying to cut down on grains so I decided to swap it with some celery. It was really nice. This way I had more of a crunch which I liked. I can see myself continuing this switch tbh. 

 

Dinner: 

Chicken Stir Fry: I cut up some chicken and I marinated them in red chili powder, garlic powder, basil, black pepper, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. I let that sit for about an hour and in the mean time I chopped up some bok choy, broccoli, red bell peppers, onions, garlic, and cilantro. Then I stir fried all of that. 

Cauliflower fried rice with onions, and bell peppers: Really felt like the perfect side dish with the chicken. 

Taboule Salad: put a little extra balsamic vinegar into the mix. 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

Body Image issues

So tonight I began crying because I'm so disgusted by the way that I look. I'm 5'2" and a 150lbs. I have a 25 in waist. I have a lot of muscles on my legs and I get complimented for my figure a lot. But whenever I try to take pictures of myself, all I see is fat. I don't like how big my boobs are. I hate how my stomach isn't flat. I wish my ass was more prominent. And I wish my arms were skinny. I feel like the before picture to any weight loss ad or post. 

I'm looking through my food journal entries and I feel like I eat in a pretty balanced way with a lot of whole foods. I check the ingredients. I eliminated a lot of carbs and dairy. I eat vegetables a large portion of the time. Maybe I have too much oil and maybe I need to go without sugar at all? Maybe I need to eliminate all meat to cut calories? I don't know if that is my eating disorder talking so that I keep restricting foods or if it is the voice of reason. Maybe I'll see weight loss in a bit and I'm being impatient? Maybe I need to look  at my measurements instead of going off of my weight and BMI since those tend to not budge ever while my size does change time to time? Or maybe I'm deluding myself and that I need to look at the scale and my 27.6 BMI and accept that I'm a fat, lazy fuck. Sure I have made progress in my diet for the last month or so, but unless it is perfect I won't see any results. I have to be perfect. 

I stopped journaling my food for about a week because I saw these tendencies in me creep up. I'm seeing them creep up again and it is making me want to starve myself. I have done this in the past. In my preteen and early teen years I was anorexic. Through high school, I mainly binge ate. Recently I catch myself wanting to skip breakfast and eat really small portions for lunch and dinner. I started doing that only to feel bloated even though I'm avoiding foods that cause me to bloat in the first place.  I have read that restricting too many calories can cause that.  I REALLY hate feeling bloated. I'm already insecure about my stomach because it isn't flat or a six pack and bloating me look like I'm pregnant.  I look in the mirror and it makes me want to starve myself.  But that isn't the answer because not eating slows down your metabolism, can make you even more bloated, and worsen symptoms of PCOS which can make you gain even more weight because your horomones are all over the place. 

It's like I'm going to be fat and disgusting either way. If I eat I'll get fat. If I don't, I'll still get fat. Especially considering that I have PCOS and also an iron deficiency, I feel like I'm at fault for my health issues. It must be because I'm fat. I know that isn't the case because PCOS doesn't have a defined cause and is likely genetic, but I can't help but blame myself for my current state. Everyone is telling me to lose weight from doctors to my family. I haven't told my mom about how I need to lose weight. Every time she hears the phrase "lose weight" she goes crazy and starts doing things like watering down soup, eliminating more food from my diet, yell at me for sitting down, and grab my body without my permission to make the point that I'm fat.  I'm trying to focus on habits regarding healthy eating and see my weight as secondary but going on diets, especially ones that cause me to eliminate an entire food group, and watching what I eat closely can mess with my head at times. 

I'm writing this down in this journal because I noticed that my body image has a huge impact on my eating habits. Often times when I feel this way I try to go as long as I can without eating or do something insane with my diet like drinking a shit ton of water to where I pee 10 times a day. 

Edited December 26, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

Cravings 

I noticed that after I started changing my diet, I haven't been craving things like I used to, especially sweet things. It isn't that I have to stop myself but it's that they aren't there in the first place. I think this might be because of my reduced sugar intake because everything is tasting sweeter, even things that I didn't originally think were sweet. I still have a sweet tooth and when I made a salad for lunch today, it had yellow bell peppers, tomatoes, red onion, kale, carrots, cucumber, artichoke and spinach hummus, tahini, flaxseeds, parsley, basil all topped with balsamic vinegar, the whole thing tasted sweet and tackled my sweet tooth weird enough. Also, when I do get cravings, they aren't nearly as strong as they used to be. Before it was like this thing that I had to satisfy. Now when I get a craving for a certain food, I can wait for a week or so before indulging without feeling any torture lol. 

I have been craving pizza for the last week or so. I haven't gotten it because my digestion has been a little off and I really want to fully clear up my skin but the craving hasn't been overwhelming

. 

On one hand I want to go all out. I love vegetables on pizza but whenever I order pizza with my family, I'm usually limited to 3 toppings so that we can get whatever special deal they have and get multiple pizzas. But like I always wanted to order one pizza from dominos where I go all out and put everything that I could want in a pizza and have this super loaded pizza. 

On the other hand, I also want a super simple caprese pizza with mozzarella, sweet baked tomatoes, basil, and balsamic vinegar on a thin crust. I feel like this is on the other end of the spectrum when it comes to my loaded pizza. 

And as usual I'm always craving chocolate. I think I'm going to do what I did with the bread and cheese earlier where I let myself have a little bit of it every night until I got tired of it or it just lost it's novelty/ indulgent factor.  As far as specifics goes, I want chocolate with some fruity elements to it whether it is chocolate covered blueberries, something with chocolate and raspberries, chocolate oranges, chocolate and coconuts (almond joy basically) or chocolate covered strawberries. I also really like chocolate and mint as well. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

12/26/2020 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

I woke up and didn't want to eat because I had a bad body image day yesterday. I forced myself to make breakfast anyway and I motivated myself by making something new. 

Egg Muffin: All I did was get an egg, beat it, pour it into one of those cupcake baking tray after greasing it with a little bit of vegetable oil and add toppings. You can add what ever toppings you want and I'm planning on experimenting with this in the future since I liked it, but I added some kale, onion, garlic, tomato, and some left over turkey from my fridge. I then popped the whole thing into the oven for about 25 minutes and it came out looking like a fluffy muffin. I posted a video where I got this from earlier in my journal. I paired this with a little bit of avocado. I was surprised by how filling it was. Normally I have an egg and avocado for breakfast but I always feel the need to pair it with some toast. I didn't add a lot of vegetables to where it would really effect the amount of food. I think because the egg was fluffier like a muffin it felt more filling than it would if it was flat like the way I do my over hard eggs. Over all this was a success and I can see myself making these in bulk and putting them in the freezer to warm up every morning. 

Lunch: 

Kale salad: This salad had kale, red onion, yellow bell peppers, carrots, cherry tomatoes, flax seeds, tahini, cucumbers, artichoke and spinach hummus, and balsamic vinegar. I wanted something crunchy and I thought "hey I haven't had a salad in a long time" so I made myself this salad. I loved how colorful it was and the tahini made it more filling than I anticipated. The thing that surprised me about this salad is that it tasted sweet. I didn't add anything sugary or anything super sweet so that was a little odd but I didn't mind it. I think this has to do with me cutting out a lot of sugar in my diet to where now I pick up the natural sweetness of things more. 

Snack: 

Chocolate chip cookie: I had less than a fourth of this big chocolate chip cookie I found in the pantry. I was thinking of only having half of the cookie since it is so big but I couldn't get myself to eat the whole thing. Similar to the kale salad, it tasted much sweeter than normal, but in this case, the cookie was too sweet for me to eat so I put it back in the pantry. 

Dinner: 

Salmon: Wild caught salmon cooked in olive oil with garlic, Italian seasoning, red pepper powder, garlic powder, and parsley. I also included some  onions. 

Kale salad: I had some kale salad left over from lunch because I made too much so I went ahead and ate that. I just didn't add more flax seeds to the mix. 

Snack: 

Gluten free brownie mix: I was making brownies for my friends and myself because I'm visiting them. I made some gluten free brownies from those box mixes you can find. I didn't eat any of the brownies but I did eat some of the batter off the sides of the bowl and from the spoon after I poured most of it in the tray to bake. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

Another video I found extremely fascinating

[soos_mite_ah]

More about the all in approach from the previous video posted on this journal. This talks about how going all in can help reverse a damaged metabolism. I wouldn't be surprised if I had some type of metabolic damage from restrictive eating because I feel like if I go over 1300 calories that I'll gain a ton of weight. 2000 sounds waaay too much for me. I always rationalized this by the fact that I was 5'2" and shorter than most people. Granted there are tons of factors that goes into how many calories one needs so I can't say much about what I actually need. I find counting calories can get obsessive for me personally from past experiences with restrictive eating so now I try my best to eat til I'm full and eat whole foods so that I won't have to worry about counting calories. But now, I'm starting to think it might be important to count calories not to ensure that I'm at a deficit so I can lose weight but so that I know that I'm eating enough and that my body is getting the nourishment it needs. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

12/27/2020 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 
Banana with peanut butter and cinnamon: I know that today I'm planning on going for a hike with some friends so I decided to have a banana with peanut butter since I noticed that fills me up well because of the carbs from the banana and the protein / fats from the peanut butter that gives it the satiety factor. 

Lunch/ snacks: 

1 banana, some grapes, and orange, a couple of gluten free brownies, and cauliflower chips: During the hike we stopped to eat. There was also bread and croissants but I didn't want any because first of all I'm still relatively full from the banana from the morning and second the gluten messes with me inside. This meal felt like a large accumulation of snacks that added up to a meal. 

Snack: 

4 piece chicken nuggets from McDonalds: I caught myself having a headache after the hike as I was driving back home. I wondered if this had to do with me not eating enough so I went ahead to the McDonalds drive through to get myself something small so my head won't hurt just long enough to where I can get home and have the energy to make something.  

Dinner: 

Tomato soup: I was kinda lazy making dinner because I didn't want to eat but I'm also trying not to skip any meals so this is what I opted for. I realized that I wasn't feeling hungry and that my headache is likely from a head cold or allergies because after I ate the nuggets and this meal, my headache didn't improve at all. 

Taboule salad with a few olives: Wanted to get rid of the 3 left over olives in my fridge 

1 handful of peanuts and flaxseeds: I just felt like it tbh. 

1 cup of decaffeinated green tea: Even though I had some soup, I wanted something warm to help my scratchy throat.

Wasabi: I just had this straight up without any other food because wasabi clears my nose. 

Snack: 

half of a chocolate chip cookie: I couldn't sleep last night because of my stuffed up nose so I started snacking 

 

Anything sugary note: I'm going to add this to the end of my food diary as a quick snapshot of my sugar intake so that I can be more mindful of it. 

chocolate chip cookie and brownie 

Edited December 28, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

Strict

I caught myself being rather rigid and perfectionistic with my diet. I know I'm trying my best to clean up my diet by eating more whole foods and vegetables but I also catch myself about to beat myself up from deviating from that. I had some cauliflower chips from a packet yesterday during the hike and part of me felt as if I was falling short of my diet goals. I felt the same way about the gluten free brownie, the chicken nuggets, and the chocolate chip cookie. I have made progress but when I catch myself slipping even on occasion, I can't help but notice how out of it I am. It was like I was on a roll and I messed up. 

I know this isn't a healthy attitude towards food and can mirror patterns in disordered eating. We can't be 100% perfect all the time and when it comes to healthy eating, it's best to aim for 80% because well, life happens. When I caught myself having these thoughts, I observed them to be mindful and take note of them but I also let them pass so I can enjoy the food that is in front of me instead of taking it for granted. 

[soos_mite_ah]

PCOS Update 

I'm going to start noting down things I have noticed regarding my period since the beginning of my journey.

My period:

November 11-13 2020: Had my period for the first time in months. It was pretty typical of my period. It lasted for 3 days with the 1st day being really painful. Normally my 1st and 2nd day are heavier while my 3rd day is when things wind down. My period is relatively light compared to that of moth people's This was the time when I got diagnosed with PCOS. 

December 5-6 2020: 32 days later I got my next period. It was really light with barely any bleeding. I did get pain but my period this time only lasted 2 days. I was slowly going gluten and dairy free at this time and soon I made this journal

December 25-28 2020: 20 days later I get my period again. This 20 day cycle felt pretty short to me. Normally when my period is irregular, I go a long time without my period. It doesn't unexpectedly come early. This time the 1st day was very light similar to my period earlier this month, while the 2nd and 3rd day was  normal. I also observed that I had little to no cramps during my period during this cycle and I think this might have to do with my changing diet and life style. 

Acne:

I noticed that my acne, how frequently I break out, and the size of my breakouts have decreased upon cleaning up my diet. I still break out but it is very predictable, usually if I eat something I know I'm not supposed to, I know that I'm going to be greeted with a small juicy pimple the next morning. I use this as a measuring tool in regards to how my food is reacting inside my body as well as indication of whether I'm doing my diet right or whether I'm eating something that is irritating my system. 

Hair growth:

I was growing a little bit of hair just under my jawline. I remember before starting this diet, it would grow and it would be difficult to remove because the hairs were so course and thick. Now those hairs have thinned out a little bit and they are easier to remove. They haven't decreased in quantity but it's a start in the right direction. 

Weight:

I didn't lose any weight on the scale but I'm pretty sure I lost a couple pounds of fat here and there because when I try to go to sleep, I feel my hip bones and my rib cage. I notice that this happens when I lose fat on my body and it takes a minute for my body to get used to less cushion if that makes sense. I normally don't notice fat loss on the scale but I do notice it when I go to wear clothes and they feel looser when I put them on. I also noticed that I stopped bloating up ever since I stopped eating gluten. I'm pretty sure I had a gluten allergy before that was causing a lot of bloating. Physically this has made me feel lighter and more comfortable inside my body.  

[soos_mite_ah]

3 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Strict

I caught myself being rather rigid and perfectionistic with my diet. I know I'm trying my best to clean up my diet by eating more whole foods and vegetables but I also catch myself about to beat myself up from deviating from that. I had some cauliflower chips from a packet yesterday during the hike and part of me felt as if I was falling short of my diet goals. I felt the same way about the gluten free brownie, the chicken nuggets, and the chocolate chip cookie. I have made progress but when I catch myself slipping even on occasion, I can't help but notice how out of it I am. It was like I was on a roll and I messed up. 

I know this isn't a healthy attitude towards food and can mirror patterns in disordered eating. We can't be 100% perfect all the time and when it comes to healthy eating, it's best to aim for 80% because well, life happens. When I caught myself having these thoughts, I observed them to be mindful and take note of them but I also let them pass so I can enjoy the food that is in front of me instead of taking it for granted. 

A response to what I was feeling earlier 

[soos_mite_ah]

12/28/2020 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

Egg muffin with spinach, kale, bell peppers, onions, and turkey with a side of avocado: I really liked this breakfast from a couple days back so I decided to make this in bulk. This was super filling and I accidentally skipped lunch because of it. I simply forgot about lunch because I didn't feel hungry. 

Snack: 

2 gluten free brownies: I really liked the brownies from yesterday so I decided to have more today

a handful of peanuts: I was also in the mood for something crunchy 

Dinner: 

Sautéed pumpkin:  Basically I cut a pumpkin into cubes and sautéed them in olive oil. I added cumin, red chili powder, turmeric, and a little bit of salt. Then I topped all of that off with cilantro. I normally eat this with roti but since I went gluten free, I didn't have this. Because I didn't have sautéed pumpkin for a long time, I was simply in the mood for it. 

Cauliflower fried rice: made with onions, bell peppers, and olive oil. I paired this with the pumpkins because I wasn't going to have roti 

Chicken: I made a small portion of chicken with a variety of seasonings that I grilled. 

 

 

Anything sugary note: I'm going to add this to the end of my food diary as a quick snapshot of my sugar intake so that I can be more mindful of it.

• gluten free brownies

Edited December 30, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

12/29/2020 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

Egg muffin with spinach, kale, bell peppers, onions, and turkey: This muffin was from the batch I made in bulk. I normally would have it with avocado to get some healthy fats in but I was in a rush this morning so I grabbed the muffin and ran off. It didn't fill me up the same way it did with the avocado and I found myself really hungry by the time lunch rolled around. 

Lunch: 

Kale salad: This salad had kale, spinach red onion, yellow bell peppers, carrots, mushrooms, flax seeds, tahini, cucumbers, artichoke and spinach hummus, and balsamic vinegar. Like the salad I had last time that was very similar to this, it was very filling, more filling than what I expected. 

Snack: 

1 banana with peanut butter and cinnamon

Dinner: 

Chicken curry: I'm not sure how to make it but I know my mom makes it from scratch with whole ingredients and doesn't add any extra salt to the dish. 

Cauliflower fried rice: has bell peppers, onions, and cilantro mixed in. 

Snack: 

A handful of peanuts and a pickle: I felt hungry in the middle of the night. 

Edited December 30, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

 

 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

12/30/2020 Food Diary 

Lunch: 

Gluten free spaghetti with chicken:  Has onions, diced garlic, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, olive oil, gluten free noodles, basil, chicken and tomato sauce. Thought I didn't have spaghetti in a minute. I skipped breakfast because I was feeling rather depressed this morning. 

Snack: 

1 can of sprite: I was satisfied with about half of the can but I went ahead and finished it. I noticed that my desire to binge on sweet things have gone down as my sugar cravings have gone down. I can have some sweets and still feel like I can control myself if I need to. But later on today I ran into some problems with my mom. She saw the empty soda can in my room and scolded me for having it. She was like "you are working so hard on your diet and health and now you're just going to throw it away with soda. Don't drink soda" etc. I think that's where I get my nit picking tendencies from. I know one soda isn't going to throw away all the progress I have made with my diet just like how one healthy snack won't fix anything either. But this perfectionistic attitude towards food I feel messes up my relationship with food and compels me to restrict, restrict, restrict. Over all, not a healthy attitude towards food and towards a life style change. 

Spinach and artichoke hummus and celery

Dinner:

Kale and spinach salad: This salad had kale, green onion, yellow bell peppers, carrots, cherry tomatoes, flax seeds, tahini, avocado, artichoke and spinach hummus, spinach and balsamic vinegar. I was so full after this meal. It was a fairly large salad. 

Anything sugary note: Sprite

Edited December 31, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

Health Related Things to Consider

My issues:

• Deal with PCOS 
• Deal with High ANA levels (due to inflammation) 
• Treat Iron Deficiency
• Treat Slowed Metabolism 
• Wanting Weight Loss
• Wanting to Clear Acne 

My family history:

• A lot of high blood sugar 
• Some high blood pressure 
• Being over weight 

Edited December 31, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

12/31/2020 Food Diary

Lunch:

Egg muffin with spinach, kale, bell peppers, onions, and turkey with a side of avocado and flax seeds: I normally would have this for breakfast but today I woke up still feeling really full from the large salad last night so I waited a couple hours and had this for lunch instead. I also felt too lazy to make lunch so because I made these egg muffins in bulk, I just heated one up and mashed up some avocados. 

Snack: 

A handful of peanuts: Just wanted something to munch on so that my appetite would be controlled til dinner. 

Dinner: 

Chicken Stir Fry: I cut up some chicken and I marinated them in red chili powder, garlic powder, basil, black pepper, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. I let that sit for about an hour and in the mean time I chopped up some bok choy, broccoli, red bell peppers, onions, garlic, and cilantro. Then I stir fried all of that. 

Cauliflower fried rice with onions, and bell peppers: Really felt like the perfect side dish with the chicken. 

Snack: 

Another handful of peanuts: For some reason I catch myself reaching for peanuts whenever I crave chocolate 

3 squares of chocolate: My mom gave me some right around midnight for new years. 

 

Anything sugary note: 

3 squares of chocolate

Edited January 1, 2021 by soos_mite_ah