Age difference in a relationships

[Leo Gura]

There's no problem per se with a 25 year old girl dating a 40 year old, because she's mature enough to be responsible for herself. So it's not the age difference that's the main problem here. The problem is that a girl who's 18-22 is immature as hell and doesn't know what she's doing.

[Lyubov]

At first I thought I was going to read about some sort of sugar daddy / baby situation but it doesn’t even sound like that ? It’s a little weird and a pretty big age gap considering she’s a teen still. 

[eggopm3]

Damn and I get nervous about age gaps even when considering asking out a girl who's only like 6 years younger than me.

I remember as a teenager learning that the minimum age you can date without it being creepy is half your age plus 7. So a 20 year old should date no younger than 17, a 30 year old should date no younger than 22, a 50 year old should date no younger than 32, ect. I have no idea where I learned this from, but it's stuck in my mind as a general rule of thumb ever since I first heard it.

[IAmReallyImportant]

So you are like 26? x D What I also often observe is if an age gap is too high a certain kind of parent-child relationship is evolving inside the actual relationship. This seems unhealthy to me because it looks like a compensation strategy in my pov.

Edited December 10, 2020 by IAmReallyImportant

[Arcangelo]

  On 12/10/2020 at 8:02 AM, Preety_India said:

Stop all this drama. Just go and tell the parents. The parents need to know as soon as possible. 

You shouldn't hide such things from parents when she is only 19. Terrible idea. 

 

No. She is a grown up, let her mind her own business.

[Preety_India]

@Arcangelo she is not. 19 means nothing. Most 19 year Olds are emotionally immature. 

 

[Arcangelo]

^Well that's like your perspective.

Legally she can marry this guy. What seems to be the problem?

 

[Arcangelo]

And a big LOL at asking: What are your intentions.

hahaha you guys are kidding right?

[Preety_India]

Arc, legally and emotionally are two different things. 

Just because someone has written on a piece of paper that they are having mental illness by their doctor, does not mean that the person has mental illness. 

We can pass anything as legal. 

Yes her age is legal. But is she equipped to deal with this situation? 

To be honest, if she was matured, she probably would have never wanted to be with a man almost 20 years her senior 

That itself tells me that she is immature. She would have been with a man slightly older than her, not so much older. 

Age might not be a problem but life experience gap hugely matters. 

 

[hoodrow trillson]

[Preety_India]

So funny that this is being made out to be about consent and age related when clearly it is about guiding someone who could potentially end up broken hearted and traumatized. 

 

[Arcangelo]

All I see is 2 legally grown up adults having a good time. He is happy, she is happy. Let them be happy. Search for your own happiness. Be yellow.

[iceprincess]

@BornToBoil get her out of there fast. she will be exploited to the max. my friend was about the same age as her when she started dating a 36 year old. He took complete advantage of her for sex and manipulated her so much, stole $500 from her and never spoke to her again. Then she moved onto a 32 year old who seemed like a really sweet guy but was also manipulating her, he had sex with her and strung her around making her put up with the most insane shit. he told her he wouldn't full commit to her until she was pregnant with his baby. that English teacher is probably holding a lot back from her 

[lostmedstudent]

When i was a student 16-20 years old, i had more crushes on my male teachers than the boys my age. 
i would totally have dated a 37 years old male teacher. That probably woudlnt be a good idea haha 

[Preety_India]

@Arcangelo

Leo at least got manhood(to admit) . 

 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Preety_India

[Arcangelo]

@Preety_India Hehe! IDK Preety IDK...

We all have agreed on the number. The number is 18, and she is 19. Legally there is nothing wrong with this relationship. All that emotionally immature and power dynamic mumbo jumbo is in your minds.

We don't know them...

Maybe they are twin flames for all we know.

We don't know....

[Preety_India]

@Arcangelo it's ok Arc. Gotcha. Hope all is well and have a wonderful blessed day 

[BornToBoil]

@Arcangelo what's wrong about asking what his intentions are? Seems like a legitimate thought provoking and open ended question.

Also, you are only saying that this relationship is ok because it suits your agenda of being a pick up artist who also wants to date 19 year olds, aren't you?

@Preety_India I agree that it's not about legal age or consent. However her having a relationship with this guy doesn't necessarily equal with her being immature. Even I, knowing much more about the situation than you guys do, have my doubts. So I think it's wrong of you to just come to conclusions like that.

@iceprincess Thanks for your concern, but just because something like that happened to your friend doesn't mean that it will happen to everyone. From what I currently know about the situation everything seems to be pretty stable.

Edited December 11, 2020 by BornToBoil

[Arcangelo]

  On 12/11/2020 at 7:30 AM, BornToBoil said:

Also, you are only saying that this relationship is ok because it suits your agenda of being a pick up artist who also wants to date 19 year olds, aren't you?

You got me.

  On 12/11/2020 at 7:30 AM, BornToBoil said:

what's wrong about asking what his intentions are?

Because he is gonna lie. Why you wanna be lied to?

 

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil I just hope everything turns out fine for her. 

I'll say this much. When it comes to such things, there may or may not be Traps, one cannot be fully sure, so the best strategy is to be careful in advance. 

I know you care about your sister and that's why you opened this thread, if you had no problem with their age gap, you probably wouldn't have asked this question to begin with. These are your words from your original question "am trying to be open minded and all but I am still a bit concerned about this", so it does seem like you're concerned 

All I'll say is this. You keep an eye on the relationship of your sister. This is your responsibility as her brother since you do have some concerns. If you come across even the first sign of bad behavior from the guy where it seems like his intentions are not genuine but to simply use your sister for sex, then please warn her immediately about it and make her get out of it. 

If he is good caring guy and not simply pretending it, then cool, your sister will most likely be happy with him, so will you. 

Best regards.