Good Reason To Take Self-actualization Seriously

[Kevin Dunlop]

Research shows that the personality is largely formed by the time we are 3 to 7 years old. I look at the identity as a collection of learned ways to interpret then respond to reality, as well as having  ideas about who you are, what your goals are, etc. All of this information about who you are and what you will do comes from parents, TV, school, friends and the example of society (not experts on how to form a good identity). If you look at what your identity is and realize you decided on most of it when you were 3 or 4 years old does this make you feel strange about following it without question? If the basis for what you do was made by a 3 year old mind, you are still trying to complete the deals you made with yourself back then. Just because you dont remember having made those deals doesnt mean that you are not still trying to manifest them. Infact if you try to you probably can remember having made alot of the decisions about your life now as a kid - try it and see what you come up with. Its like having a program from the 80´s still in your computer today. So not self-actualizing as an adult is like letting a 5 year old decide what I  should do, how should I react to all the situations in my life. For this reason its important for me to investigate my identity and question why Iam doing the stuff I do, or reacting the way I do to life situations and reform this when I need to. Can you give us any examples of this from your own life? 

[Tancrede Pouyat]

I don't like bullshitting but I still feel compelled to say this :

The idea that anybody should do anything is just dumb.

Everybody feels like they have a well-crafted, well thought-out, perfect story for why they live the life they do. Victims are great at that.

The common denominator across all of those stories is that they think anybody in this situation would do the exact same thing.

And this is simply not true.

We humans confabulate. We make up stories about what happen in our minds. There's a good reason for that, and that's basic survival instincts.

Those stories are irrational and just not true. You could have actually come up with any other reason that would justify your behavior, and it would also be false.

The point of this small rant is simple :

Don't waste your precious resources (energy, time, attention, for some people it would even be money) trying to resolve the past. It's already resolved.

Be proactive. Make your future happen for yourself, by yourself.

And, you know what, if you run into dead-ends, if you go down the wrong past, that's actually a good thing, that means you've grown. Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey perfectly portrays that.

I still encourage you to get inspired by great models. And especially try to figure out what their challenges, fears, and frustrations they have. Really try to get inside their heads, feel how they feel, see what their whole outlook on life is. If you can do that, you'll really understand what you want and what you don't.