How do I overcome feeling physically unattractive?

[GroovyGuru]

I was journaling just now trying to come up with the various obstacles that prevent me from dating and attracting women. 

I found that really the main reason is that I simply don't feel physically attractive. This may or may not be true, I'm not sure, but if I'm being totally honest with myself I just don't see myself as attractive (even though I'm extremely physically fit, well groomed, well dressed etc.). 

Then I started wondering why I don't feel attractive and came up with these:

-I've been called ugly before

-I'm not incredibly charming, flirtatious, or extroverted (especially around women)

-I've never been given a reason before to feel that I'm physically attractive to women

-I've never had success on dating apps

Now, I'm very clear that even if I'm not super physically attractive, I can still attract women. I know that I can be attractive in many different ways, and in fact I do think that I'm attractive and could attract women based on other aspects of myself. However, the bottom line is that if I'm talking to a girl, it's hard for me to be confidently flirtatious because in the back of my mind I have this underlying feeling that she simply doesn't find me physically attractive. I want to make it clear that I'm perfectly sociable, interesting, and for the most part actually rather confident in most areas of life. I just simply don't think of myself as handsome or good looking and that is preventing me from being confident around women.

 

Does anyone have some practical tips on how to solve this issue I'm faced with? It seems like I need to re-program my subconscious in some way. Or is it more of a "stop caring what people think" type of thing? Any video recommendations of Leo's library or just general advice would be appreciated 

[Peo]

Take some MDMA and love yourself, lol (just kidding).

[Leo Gura]

Go talk to and date hot girls. Hot girl getting wet for you will reprogram your mind.

[Recursoinominado]

Men don't need to be beautiful, only women do.

Women are like flowers. Don't be a flower.

As a man, you have to work on your character above all. 

Maximize your looks, great shape, nice style (don't be generic), beard, a nice haircut, maybe some stylish tattoos, and shut the fuck up (no offense lol).

The fact that you are ugly will make your feats even more impressive. 

When you date hot women, they will get puzzled and fascinated about you because of this.

Make a goal to break women's standards of beauty (like dating model-like guys).

Don't try to be the good looking guy if you aren't.

What you can't change, feature it. 

[Raze]

 

 

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura And how do you plan to do that? If the guy is ugly then his inner game is already bad from years of being treated like shit by girls. Hot girls will not reject good looking guys with confidence for an ugly guy that is insecure about his looks. He should start with ugly girls then build himself up to hot girls. Pussy is pussy. Ugly girls pussies feel just as good as hot girls pussies, the rest is just bs in your head and ego validation

@Recursoinominado If looks dont matter then a guy with good game would pick up every single girl he approached. Usually even guys with good game will attract a small fraction of what they approach. I am not saying looks are the end all be all but saying they do not matter is ridiciolous and denying reality. "If you are good looking you can get away with A LOT more and have girls attracted to you by just existing and not being a wimp but as an ugly guy with great game you can do just as well, it is just more work. Basically like studying for an exam versus being naturally smart and not having to study. It is not fair but life is not fair, dont complain and grow". This seems as better advice.

[Preety_India]

Ugh this thread. Such demonizing and insulting women's looks. 

Looking at women like a piece of meat. 

And then they wonder why women are so unhappy. 

(on such a high consciousness forum, speak about women with a tiny bit of dignity please??) 

 

Edited December 7, 2020 by Preety_India

[Karmadhi]

I could give you some sugarcoating bs but this is the most accurate video i have ever seen regarding this topic. It is both accurate, empowering, positive and REALISTIC

 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Poor dude was just asking how to get over his looks insecurity, he never said "ugly girls" or anything like that. 

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi you said not him.. 

He is being decent. 

[Recursoinominado]

10 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

If looks dont matter then a guy with good game would pick up every single girl he approached.

That's very simplistic and unrealistic thinking.

Ugly guy with game beats a good-looking guy without game every time. 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India I literally said ugly girl pussy is just as good as hot girl pussy. 

Regarding "building yourself up from ugly to hot girls" i was being pragmatic and practical. Practical advice and " not hurting people's egos" are independent variables. 

[Karmadhi]

@Recursoinominado That depends on how good/bad their game is and how attractive/ugly they are. If the good looking guy is a complete wimp then yeah he may not get the girl at the end. However most good looking guys have enough confidence and social skills to get a girl mostly from their looks. I know very attractive guys that get plenty of girls without game and stuff. Once a friend of mine was told by a girl that she liked him and wanted to go to the bathroom so he could have sex with her. But you need to be very good looking for that to happen. A 7/10 guy wont get that shit so it is not worth feeling bad about. 

If a guy has amaizing game then yeah he can fuck hot girls on a regular bases too.

The destination (sex) can be reached in many ways. Pick the way that is possible for you and do that. 

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi  be a little appreciative of women and tone down the looks based discrimination. 

If the guy above feels discriminated with regard to looks, women also feel the same way when you make such statements. 

Girls don't owe anything to men for them to used up like a ladder for practice. 

Such statements hurt women who are working on their self esteem and don't wish to be used up and dumped by men. 

Be careful how you judge women in the name of pragmatic advice. 

You're basically telling a man to raise his self esteem and in the same sentence attacking a woman's self esteem. Can you see it?

A basic respect for women is always expected out of men. Try not to cross that line. 

You're encouraging bad treatment of women. And also using degrading language.. 

Gender is a 2 way street. You can't expect one gender to be happy by demeaning the opposite gender. 

You're being incredibly offensive and your views are very sexist. Tone down 

 

 

Edited December 7, 2020 by Preety_India

[Moon]

2 hours ago, GroovyGuru said:

However, the bottom line is that if I'm talking to a girl, it's hard for me to be confidently flirtatious because in the back of my mind I have this underlying feeling that she simply doesn't find me physically attractive. 

Visualize yourself in situations having great success with girls you like and create the story that this version of you already exists.

You're already sexy and funny enough, just go out and do what you desire to. Your reality eventually starts to match up with what you believe you are, just take action 

[Recursoinominado]

@Karmadhi One can see you don't know what you are talking about.

As i said, maximize your looks and shut the fuck up (no personal offense to anyone, just tough love), go work on your game.

[Karmadhi]

@Recursoinominado I literally said that you can get good girls with game so idk why you are disagreeing with me. I am saying if you are not good looking you can get results. 

@Preety_India You are right but i would like to make some claims on what you said.

Firstly, a women will not have issues getting a guy, you almost never see incel women. Guys are the ones that need the most help here.

Secondly, a women can get a guy if she works on herself. A feminine personality will be just as effective as good looks (it has worked on me)

Thirdly, when we are talking about human interactions you have to practice somewhere. I could tell him to practice with hot girls but he will be so blinded by their "divine beauty" he will not be able to do shit with them. Yes it is mean thing to say but how would you go about it? Most guys get tongue tied when talking to a hot girl unless they are experienced, it is how it is. I am just stating reality. 

Fourthly, saying someone is attractive or not has nothing to do with respect. If you consider attractiveness to be something important for your identity then yeah it is lack of respect. Some people do not give a shit about how other's percieve  their looks to be. This respect notion is deeply relative

 

 

[Megan Alecia]

Surprised no one said "By being like me" yet 

I'm jk

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi   your arguments are full of sexist generalizations about women. 

Do you know anything about women for you to even use the word "pussy" in the most degrading fashion? 

Why are you claiming so so so much about women when you are not a woman and when you claim that you don't have any experience with women?

How do you know how women feel or what's good or bad for them? 

How are you so so sure that a woman will not have any issues in getting a guy? 

And if women don't speak up as much as men, does that mean they don't have any problems? 

Why assume so much regarding women when you haven't been in lots of relationships with them and even if you supposedly were, how can you be so sure of what goes on in a woman's psyche at all? 

 

[Axiomatic]

I knew preety india would make this thread about herself lmao 

 

OP it's a tough mindset to break, but that rsdtyler guy is pretty on point. Maximize your looks and let it go. If you are working out, taking care of yourself, and on your purpose, then give yourself permission to talk to whatever girl you find attractive. 

Edited December 7, 2020 by Axiomatic