Self-inquiry

[RossE]

Hello from Scotland!

I've been on the enlightenment path for 2/3 weeks or so, doing Neti-Neti once or twice a week, self-inquiry daily, meditation daily.

In the self-inquiry process I've started to notice that despite trying to "zoom in" and find who I am, who is perceiving etc, I realise after a few minutes I'm not really doing anything at all. I'm still sitting in the same position and my awareness hasn't changed that much, just that the focus is on a certain part of it or is trying to reach a certain part of it.

This happens especially when my consciousness dilates - the sensations seem to move from their usual location and I'm left calm, peaceful and detached from thought. It feels like the state occurs without any control and disappears in the same way, but somehow my awareness has changed. When it shifts back I realise that nothing in the surroundings has really changed and I've done nothing to achieve the awareness shift. In this state I can find it difficult to keep looking for who I am.

Anybody else experience this? Should I accept this realisation as part of the process or am I doing something wrong?

Are we really doing anything at all in self-inquiry?

 

Edited September 22, 2016 by RossE

[Azrael]

30 minutes ago, RossE said:

Are we really doing anything at all in self-inquiry?

Yeah, what you are really doing with self-inquiry is that you dis-identify yourself from the belief that you have a separate self that governs who you are. You still believe that, right? Because it really feels that way. Self-inquiry (asking "Who am I" / "What am I") and searching for that I, will cut away layer from layer until you are completely fucked up. You now really know that you kind of cannot find yourself, you believe that now and it feels kinda scary.

That point is needed to direct a new kind of self-identification into your life. Although this sounds kinda wrong to me. Let's not say self-identification, but a new option to see who you really are.  You can just go along doing more self-inquiry - what will probably take you 20 years if not longer to get enlightened - or you begin to see in your every day world that all there is to it is your subjective view in this very moment. And that this very moment is ever-still while all the contents in it are ever-moving, coming and going.

If you follow that road along - you can experience the vastness of who you are - and thats beautiful.

[Capethaz]

@RossE All kind of different experiences will happen in this path, good and bad ones, but your mission is to not get attached to them and follow the technique.

[RossE]

7 hours ago, Azrael said:

Yeah, what you are really doing with self-inquiry is that you dis-identify yourself from the belief that you have a separate self that governs who you are. You still believe that, right? Because it really feels that way. Self-inquiry (asking "Who am I" / "What am I") and searching for that I, will cut away layer from layer until you are completely fucked up. You now really know that you kind of cannot find yourself, you believe that now and it feels kinda scary.

I understand that I'm aiming to disidentify from that belief, and yes it's still there in everyday situations. During meditation less so. 

Are you saying that even though it might not feel like I'm really doing anything except sifting through my awareness, that this is the key to really not knowing and this is where progress is made? 

[Markus]

It's the frustration of not getting an answer. Ego hates uncertainty. Thomas Edison may have failed 1,000 times in creating a light bulb, after which the vast majority of people would've given up, well, you are going to fail magnitudes more in asking "What am I?" Think about how many times you'd fail if it took you 1,000 hours to have an enlightenment experience. Then you'll also not get so discouraged, realizing that for a hundred thousand times, you look and nothing happens.

Edited September 22, 2016 by Markus

[Azrael]

6 hours ago, RossE said:

Are you saying that even though it might not feel like I'm really doing anything except sifting through my awareness, that this is the key to really not knowing and this is where progress is made? 

Real progress is made when you realize one day that whatever you try to do to get it, brings you further away from it and that you had it all of the time. Now, this takes some time to really honestly get there. You cannot impose it onto yourself, it comes to you. It's like right now you are learning to drive a car and are looking for the best methods and shortcuts to be a professional driver.

One day you'll be that driver and realize there was no special method that made you good at it. You just needed to drive for some time and get the experience. Re-read my post. I said that in the beginning of this journey you need to dis-identify from your made up self. When this is mostly done, you can then go around and look how everything that there is inside your awareness is you. That even your made up sense of self is just fine and how it should be. 

And out of that will arise the peace, joy and understanding. You don't wanna chase these symptoms of awakening. You wanna get it down and let them shine from the inside out.

Cheers

[Leo Gura]

@RossE Firstly, it takes time and consistency. Doing neti-neti once a week, it will take you 50 years.

Try doing 100 hours of neti-neti straight in a row. That's more like what you need to break through. And even then, that's just newbie work.

Secondly, you're never going to find yourself. Even after 50 years of neti-neti. All you'll realize is that you ARE the thing you're failing to find: namely, NOTHING! There's nothing to find cause you don't exist. That's what's to be found!

You have no attributes. You cannot be seen, hear, smelled, tasted, felt, or thought. What you are is the absence of all attributes. AKA, infinite nothingness, AKA God. It's right there! Look! There is nothing to find.

[Frogfucius]

You were nothing before you were born, you will be nothing after you die. Go ahead - try and remember existence before you were fully conscious. You won't find anything.

Right now, you're just a perceiver of experiences and sensations. You are the universe experiencing itself, masquerading in some physical body and mind. You have no control over it, and that's the way it must be. Why are humans naturally fascinated by nature, stars, the universe, science, philosophy, God? Deep down, you know you're connected to it all, but your ego is clouding the view.

[RossE]

I've made the self-inquiry habit and I will keep at it. I appreciate all your advice and I'm seeing some things I'm doing wrong, thankyou!

[Shaun]

I'm from Scotland too, I started doing consciousness work around June this year. Keep at it and it will make a huge difference to your life. I try and share this kind of stuff with people and I just get dismissed or they don't understand. I'm glad I found this site.