Am I Going Crazy?

[Frogfucius]

So, I've been doing spiritual work for over 3 months now. I've been making almost every waking moment of not using my cognitive mind, as a form of meditation and self-inquiry. For the most part, it has healed a lot of emotional turmoil...but now things are getting heavy.

I'll be at peace, then something will come up. I made a topic recently how I was suffering from DP/DR. That went away, and complete peace arisen for a while. Now there's a new drawback.

I'm starting to question everything now. Reality, what I know, existence, the purpose of life, my own mind, God, and so on. To coincide with this, I'm having intense emotional displays. For example, I'll focus on something in my field of vision, such as an object or sunlight, and then start crying. And then an hour later or so, I'll feel euphoric, and start laughing uncontrollably over nothing at all. It feels like I'm high, and it's the best feeling in the world. I looked up this phenomenon and came across this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudobulbar_affect

Am I losing my mind? Am I creating a chemical imbalance in my brain by doing all of this non-stop self-inquiry and questioning of reality? Should I stop all of this before I go deeper into a rabbit hole? I can become easily distracted in the world again, but at what cost? I thought I was on the right track of enlightenment work..is this just par for the course, or am I doing something wrong?

Feedback is much appreciated.

Edited September 22, 2016 by Frogfucius

[comp13]

@Frogfucius Do you think you could stop now if you tried? I'm afraid you took the red pill.

[Frogfucius]

30 minutes ago, comp13 said:

@Frogfucius Do you think you could stop now if you tried? I'm afraid you took the red pill.

Haha, I don't know. Most I could do is dive back into mundane, worldly distractions...but you're right, probably not feasible. Oh well. 

[WelcometoReality]

@Frogfucius That's good. Question everything you think you know because ultimately it is all beliefs.

Mind is losing control over the driver seat so in that sense you are losing your mind. You are not going mad. That is just the minds way of bringing fear into the game to get back control of the drivers seat.

Like @comp13 said, you took the red pill. You can't stop this process completely, what you can do is slowing it by distracting yourself. There is nothing wrong with slowing it. Maybe that will cause less emotional highs and lows maybe not.

If you want to go deeper, start questioning your questions. Is it not just mind wanting to figure things out? Mind wanting to be in control. And what happens when you don't try to answer it's questions but just let them fall away?

[Prabhaker]

4 hours ago, Frogfucius said:

I'm having intense emotional displays.

Express your emotions or whatever comes to your mind freely, not to someone just in a vacuum. Let it loose, vent out your emotions in the most natural state that comes to you. If you feel like weeping, weep loudly, if you feel anger upsurging, scream and take out all your anger or violence to the sky/vacuum. Gradually over the weeks, as you bring out the repressed and suppressed emotions, you would notice older issues and feelings coming up. It is not only that your mind expressed them. Your body expresses them. For the first time, you become aware that your body has many repressions to express. Once you master the art, a feeling of space will be created which will unfold within you and you will feel relaxed.

[Markus]

If you're able to function then what's the problem? From various descriptions, experiences more intense than you're used to are common on the spiritual bath.  path.

[aurum]

Emotions are good, it means you're not just theorizing.

I describe this part of my journey as my "boiling phase". Once it's over, things will be very different.

[Leo Gura]

@Frogfucius Par for the course. Of course you will experience existential crises on this journey. Many of them. Many depths of them. Just keep going. And if it gets really bad, ease up on yourself, eat some ice cream, and watch some Donald Trump speeches Then come back to the work in a few days.

Remember to temper your relentless drive for Truth with self-love and self-compassion. Be nice to yourself! Whipping yourself isn't God-like

If you start seeing giant praying Mantis people creeping up on your from the ceiling, remember it's all cool. They're just praying Mantis people, nothing to see here folks... move along... just phenomena...