I feel ashamed about being an Incel

[Striving for more]

I feel ashamed about being an incel - whenever I tried to do pickup  in my head there's a voice saying "you're an incel you suck!", she knows you're an incel ... why else would you randomly approach her .. Look at you you fucking loser, just accept it you're not a stud, you're socially awkward, she's outa your league"

Then any time I got rejected, tested or dismissed this voice would get even stronger & then I'd give up for a few months 

For this reason I wonder if "fake it till you make it" is good advice. 

And also If anyone knows how to drown out these voices

 

Also i'm currently not that focused on dating yet as I have health and financial priorities, other self help stuff. 

But I feel this ongoing pressure due to societal shaming that I am an incel loser, I have even been called this by women before too.  

Edited December 1, 2020 by Striving for more
To add another point

[Recursoinominado]

Take so much action that it shuts down the thinking mind.

[Preety_India]

Think that you are not a person when you get intrusive thoughts. Cures all problems instantly. 

 

[Eren Eeager]

Treat yourself with radical  acceptance. Even if you are the worst human being ever, you must accept yourself and then work towards improving yourself. It is good to see yourself as what you really are but you must also learn to accept yourself. Without acceptance change doesn't happen. These thoughts will keep you in your place, you must learn to ignore them. It is just like building a habit, make it your new habit to ignore these thoughts. 

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Eren Eeager

[Megan Alecia]

Work on your identity. Your dreams, desires, fabtasies. Do that as much as you want. 

Then live that fantasy. 

[electroBeam]

1 hour ago, Striving for more said:

I feel ashamed about being an incel - whenever I tried to do pickup  in my head there's a voice saying "you're an incel you suck!", she knows you're an incel ... why else would you randomly approach her .. Look at you you fucking loser, just accept it you're not a stud, you're socially awkward, she's outa your league"

Then any time I got rejected, tested or dismissed this voice would get even stronger & then I'd give up for a few months 

For this reason I wonder if "fake it till you make it" is good advice. 

And also If anyone knows how to drown out these voices

 

Also i'm currently not that focused on dating yet as I have health and financial priorities, other self help stuff. 

But I feel this ongoing pressure due to societal shaming that I am an incel loser, I have even been called this by women before too.  

Look at it from a survival POV. if your family didn't fuck people, you wouldn't be here and your race wouldn't be around. There's nothing wrong with humans not being around. There are plenty of potentially beautiful species and animals that could have existed now but don't because they didn't survive. And there are plenty of animals that have gone extinct. The human race will go extinct one day too. Its just a matter of time. All of this human survival is just a tiny skit in the entire universe, an advertisement in a movie.

So all these thoughts are literally just a side effect of the fact that you exist as a human right now. They aren't important. They aren't special. They don't mean anything other then a byproduct of your existence through to survival.

What you want is not survival, what you want is happiness, because you're smart enough to realize that survival is a loosing game because you will die one day. These thoughts are all about survival and evolution, not happiness. They have no relevance to what you want. Focus on the thoughts and stuff that makes you happy, rather than survive, because that's what you want. Focus on what woman you want, how you want to make her feel, what a great date looks like for her and you. There's plenty of survival stuff involved in her too, she's also going to reject you or act in ways that are a byproduct of survival, but again you're better then that. It doesn't matter that you're an incel because incel is just survivalness. You're aiming above that, focus on that.

[Eren Eeager]

This diagram shows how much level of confidence people tend to have. Most people have average levels. A small percentage have high levels and another small percentage has poor levels. It just happened that you are at the lower bottom of the diagram. That doesn't mean that you keep beating your self with the Idea I am not worth. No!,You accept yourself and work on improving your level of confidence.

Most people also also have a long way until they reach high levels of confidence so you are not alone, every person must improve himslef!! 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Eren Eeager

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Striving for more said:

I feel ashamed about being an incel - whenever I tried to do pickup  in my head there's a voice saying "you're an incel you suck!", she knows you're an incel ... why else would you randomly approach her .. Look at you you fucking loser, just accept it you're not a stud, you're socially awkward, she's outa your league"

Then any time I got rejected, tested or dismissed this voice would get even stronger & then I'd give up for a few months 

For this reason I wonder if "fake it till you make it" is good advice. 

And also If anyone knows how to drown out these voices

 

Also i'm currently not that focused on dating yet as I have health and financial priorities, other self help stuff. 

But I feel this ongoing pressure due to societal shaming that I am an incel loser, I have even been called this by women before too.  

Fixing your inner game is crucial for success with women. You cannot attract women with your kind of toxic negative mindset.

You must reprogram your mind with positive talk, positive vision, success, and positive beliefs. Removing all negative beliefs and self-doubt. This is huge part of learning game.

You will only ever keep the quality of girl you believe you deserve.

It makes no difference that you are an incel, all that matters is your vision for who you will become in the future.

You should already see yourself as a player, not an incel.

The girl has no clue you were an incel in the past, nor does she care.

Incels and losers never cold approach hot girls. Only players do that. Only winners do that.

You need to spend the next 6 months, every day, drilling into your mind positive visions for yourself as a successful player. And any time a negative thought enters your mind, you notice it, you catch it, you stop it, and you replace it with a positive one of yourself being even more successful than you first imagined. You have to reframe every failure and every rejection as success.

[Hello from Russia]

Realize that you are not actually an incel.

From what it sounds like you chose to suck with women and you chose to have these beliefs. Therefore, you voluntarily was celibate even though you craved for sex/relationship/intimacy. You were just using poor strategies/lacking knowledge in that domain or generally didn't care enough for the subject

You can change everything around. Then it becomes about voluntarily working on your dating game and improving your communications and intimacy skills. They actually require some decent effort to become good at it, so feel free to take your time and don't be too harsh on yourself.

Don't compare yourself to the people to which it all comes naturally (At least yet). The truth is that they just had tons of practice earlier in life and you didn't, you chose to do other things and it's actually all fine.

You can now consciously choose to become good with women and put the attention required to do so in the skills/learning about women

Or you can consciously choose to do all this stuff later if you feel like it won't be strategically sound to do it now (or at all)

Edited December 1, 2020 by Hello from Russia

[ertopolice]

On 1/12/2020 at 11:41 PM, Leo Gura said:

Fixing your inner game is crucial for success with women. You cannot attract women with your kind of toxic negative mindset.

You must reprogram your mind with positive talk, positive vision, success, and positive beliefs. Removing all negative beliefs and self-doubt. This is huge part of learning game.

You will only ever keep the quality of girl you believe you deserve.

It makes no difference that you are an incel, all that matters is your vision for who you will become in the future.

You should already see yourself as a player, not an incel.

The girl has no clue you were an incel in the past, nor does she care.

Incels and losers never cold approach hot girls. Only players do that. Only winners do that.

You need to spend the next 6 months, every day, drilling into your mind positive visions for yourself as a successful player. And any time a negative thought enters your mind, you notice it, you catch it, you stop it, and you replace it with a positive one of yourself being even more successful than you first imagined. You have to reframe every failure and every rejection as success.

That's what i wished to think when the males i feel attracted to do not cold approach even when i send some subtle signal do so (i sue to cold approach sometimes )

[Recursoinominado]

5 hours ago, ertopolice said:

That's what i wished to think when the males i feel attracted to do not cold approach even when i send some subtle signal do so (i sue to cold approach sometimes )

Well, approach yourself and feel how painful it is to be this vulnerable.

[ertopolice]

19 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

Well, approach yourself and feel how painful it is to be this vulnerable.

i like to experiment and approach but feels weird tbh

[Danioover9000]

@Striving for more

On 12/1/2020 at 7:34 PM, Striving for more said:

I feel ashamed about being an incel - whenever I tried to do pickup  in my head there's a voice saying "you're an incel you suck!", she knows you're an incel ... why else would you randomly approach her .. Look at you you fucking loser, just accept it you're not a stud, you're socially awkward, she's outa your league"

Then any time I got rejected, tested or dismissed this voice would get even stronger & then I'd give up for a few months 

For this reason I wonder if "fake it till you make it" is good advice. 

And also If anyone knows how to drown out these voices

 

Also i'm currently not that focused on dating yet as I have health and financial priorities, other self help stuff. 

But I feel this ongoing pressure due to societal shaming that I am an incel loser, I have even been called this by women before too.  

   Speaking as an Incel from the past, do some of the following that changed myself:

   Train your subconscious mind (listening to hypnosis programs, positive affirmations, visualization, study NLP), meditation, and Nofap.

   The following above changed me so much that people think I'm crazy, but it worked for me.

[Striving for more]

@Danioover9000 I already practice no fap and it hasn't done anything for me other than increase energy, but not self - esteem.

Is NLP not psuedo science then ? Interesting I will research it. 

Does Visualization and hypnosis actually work too ??

[Nobody_Here]

@Striving for more,

Being incel doesn't have to be a permanent state. When your ego (that voice in your head) tells you you're a loser for not getting laid, instead of feeling bad, ask yourself what is your ego trying to protect you from. That is the purpose behind that voice -- in its own dysfunctional way, it is trying to protect you from something. Only you can answer that question and you don't have to answer it here. But from my own experience, once you understand why your ego is saying those mean things to you, the sooner you can move on to change yourself so you won't be incel any longer. 

[Danioover9000]

@Striving for more

On 12/12/2020 at 8:18 PM, Striving for more said:

@Danioover9000 I already practice no fap and it hasn't done anything for me other than increase energy, but not self - esteem.

Is NLP not psuedo science then ? Interesting I will research it. 

Does Visualization and hypnosis actually work too ??

   Good you're practicing Nofap. Don't worry about other benefits of Nofap, just put that increase in energy for your workouts, studies, and spiritual practices if you do them. The less you bother you ding dong, the better.

   NLP is not psuedo science, it stands for neuro-linguistic programming. It's a field of study designed to change the software of the brain.

   Visualization and hypnosis work very well. I've visualized in so much detail I came very hard one time, and hypnosis to trigger orgasms on command. Very powerful if you know what to do.

   Keep doing Nofap, and maybe work on other areas of your life before dating. Higher quality life, greater attraction from women.

[Hardkill]

Actually OP, check this vid out from Kevin Samuels: 

 

At around 34:30 in the video, he talks to an Incel who called in to ask for advice on what to do about his situation, and believe it or not, but Samuels actually said to him that the best advice for him is to hire a prostitute. Kevin said that Incels who are well above the age of 18 need to do it with a professional sex worker as soon as possible in order to gain sexual experience, stop over romanticizing sex, and help stop over thinking or over complicating sex in their heads. Now, I haven't had sex with a prostitute before, but looking back, I think that maybe I should've done that before like during my early 20s perhaps because I lost my virginity clearly late (I lost it when I was 27 turning 28 years old) and I really overthink ALOT of things, even when it comes to dating, sex, and romance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 28, 2020 by Hardkill

[Recursoinominado]

Prostitutes aren't the answer.

Incels need to socialize as much as possible, getting out of their bedrooms.

Also read, take courses about dating and social intelligence at the same time.

Prostitutes won't teach them anything, it is like wanting to learn to have sex by watching professional porn.

[Arcangelo]

I said it and I will say it again:

   Having sex with a prostitute is masturbating with a vagina.

 

But yeah if you are a 25yo virgin you should run to a brothel and hire their services IMO. Life is too short...

[Hardkill]

8 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

Prostitutes aren't the answer.

Incels need to socialize as much as possible, getting out of their bedrooms.

Also read, take courses about dating and social intelligence at the same time.

Prostitutes won't teach them anything, it is like wanting to learn to have sex by watching professional porn.

I understand your thoughts on it. Though did you watch and hear what Kevin Samuels said in the vid I posted?

Also, I of course believe that if you are going to hire a sex worker, then either find a prostitute in a legal area or an escort perhaps.