Do people make their interest look like a pisstake to save face as insurance?

[Chives99]

I have little experience with women so some perspective would be helpful. You neurotypical people with your mindgames and veiled meanings can be quite a minefield to work through. Theres this girl at work and when I've been on shift with her she says in a piss takey , humourous way things like " are you going to be my boyfriend?  and her friends say things like "when you taking her on a date  post lockdown" and  "you two should get married for the tax benefits". I found it funny banter and would reply back with things like " fuck it lets quit our jobs and move into a run down council flat, I know a great one , theres a bit of damp and some rats, but hey free pets right?".

 

This past week I handed my notice in at work as its just mcdonalds thats supported me during university and im moving onto bettter more profressional work related to my career, i have a week left. A few days ago i walk into the office to cash up and she was like " You never told me  you were leaving how ,dare you, I like you , you know " I went on saying I would dm her as its hard to tell when people are being serious when they say things like they have and she took my phone number for real  as she said I had hers when i told someone my number and she joked I can text you now after overhearing it , but never got a message so maybe she heard it wrong. Have since recieved a hey whats up message

 

Thats the entire situation , this will probably be more directed at women this question, but suppose guys might do it to??? I'm ASD  so you KNOW when i like you, im unable to play mind games to complicated. If you joke about your attraction if they reject you, you could just say " god i was only taking the piss, as if i would go out with you, your so dumb" to save face and not look like a fool???

[MrWolf]

She is flirting the shit out of you! What are you waiting for?! Take some initiative man! Before she gives up on you!  

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by MrWolf

[mandyjw]

Yes, both men and women do that. A lot of men (especially younger men) have a hard time reading women's hints, especially if they are ASD or anywhere near the autism spectrum. What to a woman is bold and obvious doesn't even register to a guy who is close the spectrum. It's incredibly frustrating and most women either give up or realize they have to take a risk and be blunt. Other people just flirt constantly just to entertain themselves and generally don't mean anything by it. If they act the same way with everyone, then it's just for fun. 

[Chives99]

The problem this , this seriously threatens my self image, women are not supposed to be attracted to me as far as I believe and when a woman throws herself at me, I'm like I don't like this uncertainty give me normality. I've had non dual states before when I trully felt like I didn't know who I was and what option to take, its liberating but at the same time it feels like you're loosing everything

[Preety_India]

I guess you're losing yourself a bit here. I understand that she shouldn't be so flirtatious if she doesn't want it to go further. 

These are simply mind games that both men and women play to be frank. 

You don't have to take it seriously. There is always a way to test the waters. Respond back in a flirty way when someone is being flirty to you. I know it's difficult but don't have a sudden emotional attachment to what people say when they really don't mean it. 

One way is to be tough and not give into the temptation of ending up looking fooled. Just say something flirty or "I knew you would say that" something along those lines and then be busy with your work. A person who is genuinely interested would have a serious conversation with you later. Give them your number instantly. That's the litmus test for women. And the other test is if she turns up for a date. Ask her out for a Saturday dinner. Is she ready? If her messages are nothing beyond a hi or hello then she is just flirting, nothing wrong with flirting but dropping hints of something being there is very annoying. 

I personally had such experiences with some men at work and the best that I do is simply avoid them because generally such play very annoying mind games. 

An example of such mind games can be where a coworker is friendly with me on a day and next day acts like he doesn't know me. It's a mild form of passive aggressive behavior. 

I have seen women doing it too. 

By not responding to them you basically cut the crap and save yourself some tomfoolery. 

If someone gets flirty with me in a decent way, I like to be flirt as well but I don't like the ones who do it in a gamey kind of way. Those are the ones who are trying to trick psychology. 

One trick I use is this - if you feel utterly confused about a person and their behavior, chances are that this person is not likely the best person to be around you. 

People who are genuinely nice are generally the sincere types.