I got a history of cheating on my GF's

[Adamq8]

Hey!

So all my life i have been cheating against my GF's and it is fucked up that i do this.

I dont really know why iam doing it but it kinda comes up as an thought or idea and the funny thing is that more girls are interested when i am in a relationship. 

And something inside me wants to go on it.

I have been together with my girlfriend now for a little over a year and we have it good and are evolving very much together. 

I have not cheated on her.

But sometimes i get this "interest " in other girls, it is like a bad fucking behaviour that i dont want to act upon.

Im not going to hurt my girl because she is Amazing but it sucks that i still get this kind of "urges" and im trying to deconstruct it and see why it even occurs.

I think it goes back to how my dad has been talking about women and so forth, my dad was a " ladys" man his whole life and I apparently inhereted that part.

I have gotten into alot of trouble thanks to this lol. 

Somehow it feels like it can be insecurites hiding behind this facade but im not 100% sure.

Im trying to live my life nowadays as honest and loving as possible. 

Thats why it is sometimes hard to still have a part of me thats is "OK" with cheating even tho iam not OK with it.

Do anyone of you know anything about this and how i can proceed and stop with this kind of thoughts and desires?

 

 

[Preety_India]

Think how much it hurts the person you're with. 

I suffered delirium and lack of consciousness when I came to know that my ex cheated on me. 

It really sends a person into a dark place. 

Cheating is against core spirituality. It hurts like hell. 

It breaks the basic trust you had with the person. It removes trust over humanity. 

Human beings love exclusive relationships. Because it creates the idea of true companionship and belongingness. 

The last way to hurt a person is to make them feel that they don't belong anymore. 

The reason cheating feels so wrong is because the universe is created around the law of duality. Yin and yang. These two come together as soulmates. Cheating is a way of destroying the idea of a soulmate. 

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Preety_India

[Adamq8]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Think how much it hurts the person you're with. 

I suffered delirium and lack of consciousness when I came to know that my ex cheated on me. 

It really sends a person into a dark place. 

Cheating is against core spirituality. It hurts like hell. 

It breaks the basic trust you had with the person. It removes trust over humanity. 

Human beings love exclusive relationships. Because it creates the idea of true companionship and belongingness. 

The last way to hurt a person is to make them feel that they don't belong anymore. 

The reason cheating feels so wrong is because the universe is created around the law of duality. Yin and yang. These two come together as soulmates. Cheating is a way of destroying the idea of a soulmate. 

 

Thank you!

And I agree, like my GF today, she is the one i want to have a baby with and evolve together with and grow old with.

And I have seen how i destroyed my other girls thanks to cheating and then i get destroyed aswell so it is f*cked up that I have ever done such a thing to another person.

But I feel that I have matured alot since i started doing spirituality srsly.

And for that iam so grateful. 

 

[Adamq8]

1 hour ago, Keyhole said:

I would see a therapist who specializes in relationships to help you build a blueprint for what you want for your future with your girl.
If this is a problem built around something that happened to you in the past, someone can help you uncover it.
There might be underlying reasons within yourself for this sort of sabotage.
Be open and honest with your girl, too, about all of this, and talk to her about ways you can both work on preventing this from happening.
Tell her that you feel this way, that it is a habit, and that you don't want to do it.
This will build trust.
 

Thank you for ur tips! I will def do this, and u are right that I should bring this up to my girl but it is an akward and hard conversation to have, but it will pay off alot

[Barbara]

Having sex with different people gives us a great chemical reward since it's part of a basic pattern of reproduction and survival of species. It's instinctive, so to speak. But as humans, we can operate within higher levels of consciousness, not only serving our basic instinct. 
So knowing this, helps me to be grounded and distance myself from this kind of thoughts towards other people that are not my partner. 
What I also find helpful, is being honest with each other. So if you think your gf would comprehend the extent of your concern and also acknowledge that you don't wanna follow these urges, in order not to hurt yourself more and her, I believe would be tremendous to your relationship having that kind of openness. Would also be great for your healing. 
Warm regards for both