Feminine moods

[intotheblack]

I have always been the moody type, and i guess it’s just a part of who i am and being female.  Some days it’s just like a dark cloud following me around.  just a constant cycle of feeling peaceful, to feeling loving,  to being in a good mood, then emotional and moody, snappy, or simply just in my own head and don’t wanna talk or do anything.  Especially the time leading up to my period I can be very emotional and feel full of doom.  But it’s like a feeling rather than a thought.  I can be thinking to myself ‘I’m in a bad mood’  and know if I’m being overly emotional,  but my body does differently.    

It’s had me wondering, how does a female be fully in control of emotions and moods? (The way that a man can be- or can learn to be in control of his). 

Edited December 1, 2020 by intotheblack

[Gesundheit]

As a female, your mood is affected by your hormones/menstrual cycle. So, no you don't have much control over it.

What do you mean exactly by controlling emotions/moods though?

[intotheblack]

@Gesundheit  I guess I just mean how to not be moody haha.  But as I said it’s a feeling not thoughts,  so can it be controlled? .. 

[Opo]

1 hour ago, intotheblack said:

It’s had me wondering, how does a female be fully in control of emotions and moods? (The way that a man can be- or can learn to be in control of his). 

Embrace it. 

I think it's cute when girls go through 10 different emotions in ten minutes. 

If you acted like a guy men would consider you just as a friend and there would be no sexual tension. 

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, intotheblack said:

@Gesundheit  I guess I just mean how to not be moody haha.  But as I said it’s a feeling not thoughts,  so can it be controlled? .. 

In my experience, moods cannot be controlled. I am a male and I find it difficult.

Happiness is a different thing though. You can be having a low mood and still be happy. But for that you'd have to work on acceptance.

[Barbara]

Equanimity is key.

[electroBeam]

31 minutes ago, Opo said:

Embrace it. 

I think it's cute when girls go through 10 different emotions in ten minutes. 

If you acted like a guy men would consider you just as a friend and there would be no sexual tension. 

You can be expressive without being a psycho. 

2 hours ago, intotheblack said:

I have always been the moody type, and i guess it’s just a part of who i am and being female.  Some days it’s just like a dark cloud following me around.  just a constant cycle of feeling peaceful, to feeling loving,  to being in a good mood, then emotional and moody, snappy, or simply just in my own head and don’t wanna talk or do anything.  Especially the time leading up to my period I can be very emotional and feel full of doom.  But it’s like a feeling rather than a thought.  I can be thinking to myself ‘I’m in a bad mood’  and know if I’m being overly emotional,  but my body does differently.    

It’s had me wondering, how does a female be fully in control of emotions and moods? (The way that a man can be- or can learn to be in control of his). 

The problem isnt really what moods you go through or how you feel, its whether you react to your emotions with awareness, detachment and clear expression or whether you hold onto those emotions, keep them bottled in, and then release in big bursts. 

Handling emotions is like handling women. You gotta make them feel like they are being listened to, otherwise they turn into monsters.

[Barbara]

13 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

Handling emotions is like handling women. You gotta make them feel like they are being listened to, otherwise they turn into monsters.

Neediness isn't a matter of gender, i believe.

Edited December 1, 2020 by Barbara

[xxxx]

Being moody is a nice thing, unless it is interfering negatively with your life, or any one else's.

The range of emotions that you have described is pretty normal. Every emotion that we go through has some significance, and if we are really conscious about it --- we can discover different aspects of who we are. 

A few imperative things, though:

First, only let in thoughtful people into your life, that do not put you down for feeling this way, or berate you for behaving in such a manner. 

Second, while there is no 'solution' per se, create a routine around these distinct emotions --- playlists, movies, strenuous physical training, meditation, calm walks, good food. 

Third, get to know the root of it sometimes, as well. For example, we may get triggered by words and actions of other people; at this time, sit with this thought, and analyze how much your environment is affecting your mood. I know, the slightest of things affect one's moods --- say, dark, gloomy days make me the happiest, sunny days make me feel sad (haha). Our environment is a very big contributing factor, but sometimes, there is a need for an assessment : are we livid because someone has hurt our ego, or are we sad that somebody did not treat us very well, etc. -- at this point, we need to step aside and see where we are in that spectrum. Moreover, we have to work towards not being a fragile dependent variable that easily sways with every little change in our environment -- especially the one that concerns other human beings. A bit of of detachment and awareness needs to be cultivated, hence.

Other than that, eat that ice cream, binge on that show, go on those walks, and embrace yourself, because, why not? 

@intotheblack

Edited December 1, 2020 by xxxx

[electroBeam]

7 minutes ago, Barbara said:

Neediness isn't a matter of gender, i believe.

If others of my gender have the same poor levels of neediness as I have, then there's definitely a correlation.

[Barbara]

@electroBeam I could say the same. But as you and I know, even from these testimonials from this forum, man and woman can be needy. It's about childhood psychological patterns that were established and a relatively low level of consciousness as adults.

[Megan Alecia]

Big cosmic mystery right here? 

This applies to trans girls too actually 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Megan Alecia

[mandyjw]

The moon should really stay the same all the time don't you think, and nature should stop storming so much. I mean, why not just rain a little everyday at 9:00pm like a sprinkler system? That would be so much more convenient. Also why is the earth tilted on its axis, it should really straighten up, this seasonal changes shit is annoying. Winter, summer, winter, summer, oh make up your mind! You keep interrupting us, inconveniencing us, and delaying what we're building. Never mind that we're building it out of nature itself. 

Like nature, emotions are a power, they make people uncomfortable, they look like weakness sometimes, but life doesn't go on without them. The first step is to stop being uncomfortable with it yourself. You are not what changes, you are the witness of what changes. Emotions are a super power. Super powers that you don't understand are not easy. You cannot ignore them or repress them but you can be really good at reading them, and the key is to get curious about them and allow them. We cannot learn about a subject if we're too afraid of it to get near it. 

During times when they bubble up and seem to paralyze you like PMS, go into meditation and watch your thoughts. It's basically like a time of purification or bringing to light what we were too busy to see before. It just won't be ignored. Some really nasty thoughts might come up. Let them. Cry, release. See what the core desire is in them. Then you'll see the value in the super power of emotions. 

Also I really recommend this book. https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Bodies-Wisdom-Revised-Emotional/dp/0553386735

 

[intotheblack]

@xxxx thanks. I’m highly sensitive person and an empath, so a lot of the time it has to do with my environment. I’m easily drained, and often feel in a low mood, especially after being around a lot of people.
 

@electroBeam  It’s not really about neediness I don’t think. If anything it’s the opposite and I want to be left alone haha.  Actually, when I’m in a bad mood or feeling stressed about something I will go and sit by myself.. or take a shower.. or go and lie on my acupuncture mat and basically try and make sense of my thoughts.  Its true that I would keep a lot of things to myself though and have since I was a kid.  I’m definitely more open now though since my boyfriend is also open so he helps me to open up.    

Edited December 1, 2020 by intotheblack