Aaaaaand rejected another time...

[Strangeloop]

Yesterday I got rejected, again. I'm glad this forum exists so I can atleast tell someone.

I noticed I play the victim a lot because my mind was all like, why am I so dumb? I regret asking her out. and so on. It's a bummer. But what can I do?

She said she has a boyfriend. And this kind of statement haunts every time I try to ask someone out. 

I think I'm too of a pussy to move past this "I have a boyfriend" statement. Even if they truly have boyfriends, am I not a coward for not getting the girl even if she's taken?

[Preety_India]

No you're not. It's ridiculous for you to be so offended over the fact that the girl has a boyfriend. Why can't you be okay with it. You should be totally cool with it.. 

You need to work on your deeper Insecurities. It's not the statement that is haunting you. It's the deeper insecurities that are haunting you. Raise your self esteem enough to deal with rejections. 

Even if you think that she might not have a boyfriend, it's fine maybe she just doesn't want to be bothered. 

You need to leave egoic tendencies behind when you ask women out. Remember nobody has the obligation to say yes just because you put the effort of asking. As simple as that. 

Learn to let go rejections and continue making effort to find the one that you want in your life. Obviously that needs patience and hard work. 

 

[Strangeloop]

I guess so, Well anyway I told her that the possibility is open. if she ever wants to. but if not, fine. I can deal with that. I'll just make the effort, like you said, on other people and if they reject me, fine. I'll find someone who won't.

[Arcangelo]

Hey @Strangeloop  How are you man?

I almost never take I have a boyfriend as a rejection. What you do in that case is give her your phone number, so she can call you when her boyfriend is out of town...

Also if the boyfriend starts acting needy and insecure guess who is she gonna call? > You.

That's how ''I have a boyfriend is played'' Now you Know.

And also rejection must become your best friend. This game is cold, so you must develop a really thick skin man.

Good luck next time.

 

 

 

Arc

[Leo Gura]

Bro, most hot girls have boyfriends and you will never get them then.

Your problem is simply that: A) you don't approach enough, and B) you give a fuck about rejection.

Her having a bf is not even a rejection. It's just a logistical obstacle.

Next girl!

[Space]

@Strangeloop In what context are you asking these girls out? Are you in school, are these in social circle, or are you approaching girls you've never met before?

[Javfly33]

Only 1 rejection?

And what is that BS of "asking her out"? We are not in high school. 

[Origins]

@Strangeloop I feel you need to expand your scope and vision on life. Start researching many different cultures around the world, it'll change your perspective. You should be concentrating on your vision for life, for everything else, if it doesn't flow (gel with your vision - and I'd make world understanding a part of that) let it go, life is so complicated in the context of two people coming together, there's so many variables at play unless you've like known each other forever. 

People have to mould together, fit in, there should be no force really, otherwise it feels like an arranged marriage.  I would look into your attachment style as well, I sense you're reducing yourself and putting the other person above yourself, for example although there's other nuances and symmetries a secure attachment style (the one to aim for and build from) is about "I'm okay, you're okay", an anxious style can (not always) be like "I'm not okay, you're okay", a dismissive avoidant "I'm okay, you're not okay". 

Know that you are already free. 

Once you enhance your knowledge, go through your healing, make changes where you need to, you'll be okay Strangeloop, trust me. You'll be okay.

Best and feel free to chat more if you need to.

Edited December 4, 2020 by Origins

[Roy]

Women are like cars, a new one comes around the corner every 10 minutes.

There are literally millions of women out there for you dude. Don't get so hung up on one. You think that one was so special but it's not true, it's just a big thought story you've told yourself.

Edited December 4, 2020 by Roy

[Preety_India]

18 minutes ago, Roy said:

Women are like cars,

Hmm. 

Someone had too much to drink. 

 

[Roy]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Hmm. 

Someone had too much to drink. 

You know I'm not serious, right?

[Eren Eeager]

3 hours ago, neutralempty said:

@Strangeloop

Happens, try out different stuff next time.

Otherwise listen to @Origins if you want a girl a for life this approach probably won't be much good. Focus on something greater and God will throw some women at you.

You know this silly right? 

God is not your servsnt. He must work on his insecuritites,that is the vslue here. 

[blackchair]

haven't had relationship in 4 years, everything has it's price.....

[Arcangelo]

4 hours ago, blackchair said:

haven't had relationship in 4 years, everything has it's price.....

^Rookie

Haven't had a relationship in 10 years.

[Kalki Avatar]

Try some indirect game first. 

Ask her for directions or something else. Or just talk to her about something you like or want her opinión and then see her body language. If shes attracted then ask her out. 

This way she can know a little of your persona and get attracted. And also, you can avoid rejections if you see she  doesnt show signs of interest. You can fuck up your self esteem by getting to much rejection. It can easily go on a downward spiral. 

Edited December 4, 2020 by Kalki Avatar

[Arcangelo]

^No. I disagree, you must get rejected as much as possible. You should go out with the sole purpose of getting rejected.

 

[Forestluv]

On 11/30/2020 at 10:44 PM, Strangeloop said:

Yesterday I got rejected, again. I'm glad this forum exists so I can atleast tell someone.

I noticed I play the victim a lot because my mind was all like, why am I so dumb? I regret asking her out. and so on. It's a bummer. But what can I do?

She said she has a boyfriend.

I wouldn’t consider this type of thing a “rejection”. She has a boyfriend. I wouldn’t expect someone to breakup with their boyfriend to start dating a guy they just met. And you had no idea she had a boyfriend. It’s not dumb at all.

I approached a gal that turned out to be lesbian. I found it humorous that I was trying to flirt with a lesbian. I didn’t take it as a rejection. 

[Leo Gura]

@Keyhole What happened to you not reading these threads?

Can't resist punching yourself in the gut?

[Preety_India]

10 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

^Rookie

Haven't had a relationship in 10 years.

Are you serious. How are you living? 

Did you really not have a relationship for 10 years? 

I cannot even live without a relationship for 2 months. 

 

Edited December 5, 2020 by Preety_India

[Arcangelo]

 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Are you serious.

Yes I am dead serious. Since I am good looking, I blame my personality, past traumas and my money situation.

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

How are you living? 

Doing fine lots of peace and tranquility. I don't have to be wondering if she is cheating when she is not around. 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Did you really not have a relationship for 10 years? 

Yes, really. 11 years next year.

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

I cannot even live without a relationship for 2 months. 

Yeah some people are like that. I have mastered being alone. It is a skill. You can dump anyone at anytime but you can't dump yourself, so you better develop a good relationship with yourself. I am doing that.

 

 

Arc