Afraid Of Being Perfect/greater

[ElenaO]

Hello,
I am noticing about myself these thoughts and feelings that whenever I do everything right and everything is going great. I mean I am disciplined and I get things done, I have this weird feeling that this is all going too well. I feel like I am afraid to have all this too perfect life. That's why I screw up and do wrong things instead.

Any ideas of how to deal with this?

[Andrea Marchetti]

I think that behind this behaviour is hidden the fear of failure. You may be afraid of loosing yourself into this pleasuring situation, where stuff is just right. You may be afraid of letting go, of letting it to happen. Because if it happen to fly high then you could possibly fall back down. So you tend to stay suspiciously alert: if it never worked before you may doubt where is the trick now... So you sabotage yourself because it's better to be wont to the bad times rather than coming back into bad times from good ones. The contrast is higher.
Let go, let it be right. Don't be afraid to enjoy the high. Accept that it can go wrong too. Fly high when it's time to fly high and fall down when it's time to fall down. Loose yourself into accepting the perfect life, don't hold yourself back. Be courageous. Be uncontrollably vulnerable to success and failure both.
The more you are sensible to pain the more you are sensible to joy, and vice versa. Letting go is the key.

Edited September 23, 2016 by Andrea Marchetti

[ElenaO]

You are probably right, Andrea. I haven't thought of it from this perspective. 

[30secs]

On 9/11/2016 at 3:07 PM, ElenaO said:

I feel like I am afraid to have all this too perfect life. That's why I screw up and do wrong things instead.

it's like you are shooting a ball 3 seconds left and you think for a second that this moment is so perfect you're gonna be a hero of your team and suddenly your nervous, screwed up the whole opportunity. Try to move Truth to the top of your priorities, what's that? You're not perfect, situations are not perfect only your ego says that. But of course your ego doesnt agree with this, see?

[ElenaO]

3 hours ago, 30secs said:

it's like you are shooting a ball 3 seconds left and you think for a second that this moment is so perfect you're gonna be a hero of your team and suddenly your nervous, screwed up the whole opportunity. Try to move Truth to the top of your priorities, what's that? You're not perfect, situations are not perfect only your ego says that. But of course your ego doesnt agree with this, see?

I don't entirely understand this: do you mean that my ego seems to imagine that I am perfect at that moment, even though I am not and no one is? 

[30secs]

On 10/7/2016 at 0:32 PM, ElenaO said:

I don't entirely understand this: do you mean that my ego seems to imagine that I am perfect at that moment, even though I am not and no one is? 

yes, that's how tricky the ego is.

Edited October 10, 2016 by 30secs

[Fantastic_Times]

I have a similar experience. I tend to associate it with my idea of accepting and tolerating happiness. That's right. The amount of happiness I can tolerate in my life can sometimes be limited. Feeling of being an impostor and not deserving "the good life" can sometimes pop-up and trigger self-sabotage. Personally, I allow myself to be happier everyday. I tell myself that it's OK to feel happy, that I am enough. It's an ongoing thing but I don't fool myself, I accept myself and move on. 

Remember that the mind (and the ego) lags behind sometimes and it takes a while to fully understand that you're now going to be happy and fulfilled. 

I hope this helps. I always found the idea of "tolerating" happiness to be ridiculous until I experienced it myself. 

[ElenaO]

On 10/20/2016 at 4:35 PM, John Flores said:

@ElenaO I get this a lot. For me it has something to do with a belief that if things go too well, I'm bound to get screwed over. It's s fear of not failure, but obstacle. But more importantly death...

 

Solomon said: The lazy man says to himself "there is a lion outside - if I get out there, I will be killed"...

 

Could you elaborate on this @John Flores ? What do you mean by an obstacle? When I feel it, I actually have this thought in my mind: "Oh, this is all going way too well. I cannot take it."