Is pursuing women dead?

[assx95]

I am a 25-year-old man who hasn't had sex nor has kissed any girl. I've been on dates. And I've tried pick up when I was 22. I had developed the ability to go up to a girl I like and hold small talk. Although I sucked at small talk. I met one such girl at a pub like four years ago. We went on a date twice, and I regret not making a move last time I met her which was like 1.5 years or 2 years back. I like to think I had a long-distance relationship with her but she never committed. Now she hasn't responded back to my text, and it's been like 1.5 months. 

I have fantasized about her, and idealized her, and I genuinely feel like I am in love with her, although that feeling surfaces only once in a while. I was really thinking since I first met her, like I'd want to spend my life with her. It's kind of disheartening. I cried yesterday but they were manly tears and I felt the magic of having met in the first place and there was immense gratitude. I've emotionally matured over the years. From fear of losing her when I was 23, to accepting my fate now. 

I feel like I'm cursed that no woman I fall in love with, will love me back. And I was cursed by those women who I'd fallen in love with, everyone of them hates me or is indifferent to me, as of now. I have accepted my fate in a very chill way like it doesn't matter whether are any women in my life. I'll focus on semen retention and spirituality instead. Life is what it's supposed to be. I've given up on love though. And i don't feel like pursuing women anymore. 

[Preety_India]

You're being too needy. 

Sort out your neediness first and these feelings will go away. 

It's your own thoughts and narratives that are impairing your relationships. 

Stop appearing too needy or desperate in your communications with women and maybe you can get a chance at a great relationship 

 

 

[Arcangelo]

33 minutes ago, assx95 said:

I have accepted my fate in a very chill way like it doesn't matter whether are any women in my life. I'll focus on semen retention and spirituality instead. Life is what it's supposed to be. I've given up on love though. And i don't feel like pursuing women anymore. 

Congratulations!

I am happy for you!

Giving up is the best. Although you never give up entirely.

 

 

Arc

[assx95]

@Arcangelo Thanks man, your pickup journal was an inspiration. I don't know if you're still continuing it

[JohnD]

57 minutes ago, assx95 said:

I have accepted my fate in a very chill way like it doesn't matter whether are any women in my life. [...] I've given up on love though. And i don't feel like pursuing women anymore. 

If you've done the emotional processing and have come to this place authentically, you're on a good trajectory. If this is an excuse you're using to avoid the emotional labor, turn back now. Don't ignore your basic needs.

I see people on this forum talk about not needing other people, I even read a thread yesterday that said you don't need other people for a healthy sex life. How much of ourselves do we have to disown just so we can fit into a little box in our heads?

Edit: grammer

Edited November 30, 2020 by JohnD

[Globalcollective]

@assx95 Been in your shoes, was hopeless with women. Spent along time working on it and overcame it. Was very difficult but managed to do it, went very deep into pick up and tried everything. I moved on from it but because Ive seen so many men now struggling with it I want to try and help in some way so I'm going to write a free e book about this whole thing. I have around 10x the experience of the average guy and also walking the spiritual path now so understand how to balance the two to optimise happiness. When I finish the book I can leave it to rest as its energy consuming trying to help so I think this would be the best way. Ill give it to u when done. For now, just hold tight and don't give up hope. you can sort this out. 

[Arcangelo]

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

@Arcangelo Thanks man, your pickup journal was an inspiration. I don't know if you're still continuing it

Covid kinda killed pick up

It is paradoxical, I live my life accepting my fate just like you are doing now. But all in a sudden I see a beautiful women and I go to talk to her I got nothing to lose. For me is inevitable to do pick up. You kinda get addicted to the adrenaline rush. You are going in thinking: -''What if...''

 

 

Arc

[Arcangelo]

4 hours ago, assx95 said:

your pickup journal

Hey I remember you asking me a question about NoFap, but I didn't answer. I am ready to answer now:

                         ''Never waste an erection''  Jack Nicholson's character in the Bucket List

 

I did a one month NoFap challenge 17 years ago. The term NoFap didn't even exist. I didn't attract any women by doing NoFap, so for me NoFap is useless. Some people swear by it though.

[Kalki Avatar]

@Preety_India You got it right. 

@assx95

I use to suffer the same even when I attratcted women. 

Go into spirituality to give yourself some rest, time off and de program the necessary. 

Stop watching pickup videos, advice videos, reading too much or just consuming the infotainment. This creates an unconscious self fullfiling prophecy when going Meta without being aware of the consequences. Then evidence starts to appear and you believe, going into a downward spyral, attracting more false beliefs, insecurities, etc. This can go till death. 

Stop the molding and illusions that give evidence to this stuff appearing real. 

Just take time off your own, rest in silence and you will know what to do. You will become aware of your mind tricks. You can stop your beliefs anytime you want and become unlimited, change life direction in a blink of an eye, like magic. You can make drastic positive changes from one day to the other just by relaxing and bringing clarity. You can access whatever answer you want if you ask the correct question. You are God. Awareness itself will cure you if you let it. 

If you add to this the fact of discovering that you just need to accept yourself in the moment as you are while being aware of doing so. This means you accept you are needy or have a clouded mind or need to change some stuff in order to be more attractive but you actually dont need it! You are still fine being not so attractive as you awarely accept it, knowing you can upgrade your attraction. That instantly changes your energy. The neediness. Neediness is compulsion in a false belief of lack. Relax and accept it. You can date girls even being bad looking, having a ugly personality, etc, lol. You are just not going to be too attractive, but the fact that you accept yourself in the moment as such, will still be kinda attractive, because the energy you give is not needy. You actually dont need to do anything, unless you want. External programming is what forces you to believe so. 

Then after doing that and gradually entering more and more into your core center, you can start to apply more game rules. That which I described is the core fundamental. You need to be not needy first. Then knowledge of yourself, mind, women and skill into action will generate an abundant mindset. 

Apply this to money and other areas as well. Having a strong Drive towards a goal can be quite effective, but it doesnt compare to true clarity/awareness. The wealth you built in 5 years through hardship of business I can generate it in 1 year of financial Investing. 

Oh and dont try to be non needy. That means you need to not need, lol. Language is tricky when talking the inner stuff. Just get used to letting be whatever it is. You will have to get the trick of it through direct knowing in order to resolver this internal dilemma. 

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Kalki Avatar

[Leo Gura]

@assx95 Dude, you're getting lost in Oneitis. Forget about her and move on to hundreds of other, better girls.

You are not doing pickup properly by over-investing in this one girl. There is nothing special about her. It's just an illusion. Shake it off and move on.

You will never be able to maintain a girl that you're this needy for. She will find you more repulsive than a serial rapist.

Lots of women will fall in love with you if you stop this neediness and go build yourself into a strong man.

You must go pursue 100s of other women. Do not play this victim game.

[Preety_India]

@Kalki Avatar  hmm. 

 

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Preety_India

[Roy]

9 hours ago, assx95 said:

I feel like I'm cursed that no woman I fall in love with, will love me back.

You have created a huge thought story based off of an experience, or multiple experiences. However like the word says, they are just "stories". Literally fabrications in your mind. They do not dictate current reality or potential future realities.

Easier said than done, but you need to ditch those thoughts in your head and start imagining a you and a reality where women do love you back. It could easily be real. There is no reason that it can't, unless you continue to let those thought stories run rampant.

Edited December 1, 2020 by Roy

[ColeMC01]

Do NOT give a single shit about the girl until you fuck her and she falls for you. Treat her as you would treat a stranger in terms of how committed and caring you are to her. Every person has a base level of care that they give to everyone by the simple idea that they are a human being. Treat girls with that basic level of care, NOTHING more than that. Hard af but it is what it is, girls get repelled by neediness and caring is mistaken for neediness often since most people way of caring is based on neediness and lacking something in their lives. I am not saying to treat them like shit, you should not be negative, PURE neutrality. She has no more to you than a stranger you meet on the street until she falls for you. After that you can get a bit more engaged

 

[Arcangelo]

55 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

Every person has a base level of care that they give to everyone by the simple idea that they are a human being. Treat girls with that basic level of care, NOTHING more than that. Hard af but it is what it is,

GOLD!

Thank you sir!