How to interpret tantra correctly

[F A B]

A few days ago I started watching some videos about tantra in sex. 

My intention was to learn tantra in order to give more pleasure to my partner and elevate my sexual experience but it turned out to be the contrary.

I focused on the teachings, my mind started thinking logically and I became mechanical. Moreover, I got out of hand the good aim of giving her pleasure, which turned into a bad willingness to become a "sex god" and make her crave for me.

Is there anyone who can relate with this?

Edited November 30, 2020 by F A B

[aurum]

@F A B

It could just be that you were nervous doing it your first time. But I'm wondering where you're learning tantra from?

If someone is giving you a bunch of techniques to perform, to me that's kind of missing the point.

The foundation of tantric sex is just to be conscious. Breathe, relax and slow everything down. Become aware. There's nothing to do, no requirements to be met. Just trust your body, trust your impulses.

[F A B]

3 hours ago, aurum said:

But I'm wondering where you're learning tantra from?

Yes, well, the sources may not be the best... just a bunch of videos on youtube.

3 hours ago, aurum said:

If someone is giving you a bunch of techniques to perform, to me that's kind of missing the point.

The foundation of tantric sex is just to be conscious. Breathe, relax and slow everything down. Become aware. There's nothing to do, no requirements to be met. Just trust your body, trust your impulses.

Techniques like contracting the pelvis, breath, or trying to feel her, to be in her mind.

But how am I supposed to feel her If I must be already focused on my breath and pelvis?

They also feed me, in some way, the need for lasting longer and performing better than a normal random guy.

[Preety_India]

Maybe you took it too far. 

The main objective of tantra is to understand the other person instead of dominating them. 

I don't know the exact techniques but from the way you're describing it seems like you picked a "teacher 's role" during the sexual activity, any woman could be put off by that.. 

[F A B]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I don't know the exact techniques but from the way you're describing it seems like you picked a "teacher 's role" during the sexual activity, any woman could be put off by that.. 

Thank you for your external point of view. I'll try to be more mindful about that attitude.

[Recursoinominado]

8 hours ago, aurum said:

The foundation of tantric sex is just to be conscious. Breathe, relax and slow everything down. Become aware. There's nothing to do, no requirements to be met. Just trust your body, trust your impulses.

This!

Forget about information during sex, practice being SUPER present, flowing with the moment and your feelings.

Tantric sex is an active meditation, with a partner.

Take your time, do things awkwardly slow. 

[F A B]

@aurum @Recursoinominado

Thank you guys, you were right. Last night I completely throw off all my thoughts and fears (I don't even know how I did it, to be fair).

When I came to her place I was completely fine with the idea of just talking, kissing and having fun. No more. No sex required. No selfish needs to demonstrate whatever. 

I focused on her, on how beautiful she was and on how I was lucky to stay with her in that precise moment. Then magic happened ✨

Edited December 3, 2020 by F A B

[aurum]

10 hours ago, F A B said:

Then magic happened ✨

*cue saxophone music* .

Happy for you brother.

[sat2493]

On 12/3/2020 at 3:01 AM, F A B said:

@aurum @Recursoinominado

Thank you guys, you were right. Last night I completely throw off all my thoughts and fears (I don't even know how I did it, to be fair).

When I came to her place I was completely fine with the idea of just talking, kissing and having fun. No more. No sex required. No selfish needs to demonstrate whatever. 

I focused on her, on how beautiful she was and on how I was lucky to stay with her in that precise moment. Then magic happened ✨

Good for you, man