Am I doing meditation wrong?

[r0ckyreed]

So for those of you who don’t know. I am a natural contemplator. Contemplation comes naturally for me because I have a deep interest in the Mystery of Existence. I am INTP.

I have been meditating for 2 years, and I am not for sure if I am doing it right.

Here is what I do:

1. Breath/sound concentration meditation.

(I concentrate on sounds or my breath and each time my wanders, I bring it back to breath or sound).

2. Count my breaths.

(I count my breaths after every exhale all the way up to 11 or 13).

3. Mantra meditation

(“Pure Awareness, I Am”)

4. Actuality Hand/Leaf Observation

(I just observe a leaf or my hand and become one with it. I don’t think, I just be.)

I have tried the Do Nothing technique, but I feel like I am day dreaming instead of meditating. It is hard for me to observe my thoughts without being caught up by them.

Anybody else have similar problems?

I am planning on doing a 5 day contemplation retreat where I will incorporate some meditation at the beginning, but I will mostly be contemplating nature, consciousness, my life purpose, and my ego.

I thought about doing another 5 days of just trying to sit in silence. My biggest problem is that when I Do Nothing, my mind will always wonder about philosophical things.

I found much better progress at stillness whenever I would concentrate on breath or listen to sounds or mantra meditation.

But I am not sure if concentrating is meditating. According to Osho, concentration isn’t meditation because concentration can be disturbed, but meditation cannot. He says to become The Watcher or The Witness, but every time I try, I get trapped and lost in my own mind. 5 or 10 minutes later I’m like “oh shit! I am not meditating! I am daydreaming! I am lost in my mind!”

Observing my hands, breath and sound have helped me out tremendously, but I cannot seem to become The Witness without eventually being absorbed into my mind.

Any thoughts? 
 

Thank you for your time and help!  

Edit: Also I have done guided visualization (chakra meditations/self-hypnosis) on Youtube, but I am not for sure how helpful it all is in creating stillness in the mind.)

Edited November 29, 2020 by r0ckyreed

[r0ckyreed]

I have also tried running meditation (run for miles and observe nature, body and mind). I found it is interesting, but I am not for sure if running is meditation?

[RedLine]

16 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

I have tried the Do Nothing technique, but I feel like I am day dreaming instead of meditating. It is hard for me to observe my thoughts without being caught up by them.

that is part of the technique, if you are daydreaming it doesn't mean you are doing the technique wrong

 

 

16 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

 

quote error

[Moksha]

48 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

“oh shit! I am not meditating! I am daydreaming! I am lost in my mind!”

Those "oh shit!" moments are the magic of meditation. Don't think in them, just be in them.

[Leo Gura]

If you get lost a lot in thoughts the best method out of that is mindfulness with labeling method. See my video: Mindfulness Meditation, or check out Shinzen Young's explanations of it.

See, Hear, Feel are the best 3 labels to use.

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, r0ckyreed said:

 

(I concentrate on sounds or my breath and each time my wanders, I bring it back to breath or sound).

I have tried the Do Nothing technique, but I feel like I am day dreaming instead of meditating. It is hard for me to observe my thoughts without being caught up by them.

Anybody else have similar problems?

I thought about doing another 5 days of just trying to sit in silence. My biggest problem is that when I Do Nothing, my mind will always wonder about philosophical things.

A different mindset/intention is to investigate the process of getting caught up in thoughts. I knew what it was like to be present and I knew what it was like to realize “Omigosh, I just got lost in thoughts! How much time passed?”. Yet I had no awareness of the actual process of becoming lost in thought. So I started doing meditations with the intention of observing this process. Before the meditation, I would ask questions like:

—Does my mind become lost on one single thought? Or are a combination of a few thoughts together necessary? 
— Are there certain types of thoughts that pass by and other types of thoughts that catch me
— Is it a switch in which my mind becomes lost, or is there a brief transition period in which I go from present awareness to lost?

— If there is a transition period, can I lengthen that transition period and develop the ability to regain awareness as it’s happening?

— Once I discover this mechanism, can I maintain awareness and allow the thoughts to arise without being lost in them?

One evening, I noticed how my cat sits still and concentrates on a cub board. He knew there was a mouse on the other side and he would wait hours for a mouse to eventually come out and then he would pounce on it. I thought “that is how I will meditate. I am going to be like a cat, sit and watch intently for the first mouse (thought) to come out”. The entire purpose was to identify the first thought and the exact point of getting lost in thoughts.

So I would sit there waiting and an amazing thing happened. No mouse (thought) would come out for a while. Then I realized I was thinking “Why isn’t a mouse coming out? Am I doing this right? Maybe if I change the strategy a bit. Perhaps I could change the environment”. The I realized I was lost in thought! It got me! I missed how it happened! Such a sneaky mouse! . . .This time, I’m going to catch the mouse and see how the mouse operates. At first the mice kept tricking me. Yet then I got really into it, as if it were a game. After a while, I sa tarted to get glimpses. “Aha! I see you! That’s how you did it!”. . . This exercise helped me become aware of the mechanisms and process of becoming lost. It helped a lot with getting grounded as the witness. There were times I could sit as the cat observing mice running around me. And I didn’t get lost in chasing them. And after a while, the mice get tired and things naturally calmed down. 

[TripleFly]

enjoy ♥

[nistake]

I strongly recommend Culadasa's book The Mind Illuminated. It revolves around breath meditation and it is very-very detailed. It contains countless really useful pointers.

I wasn't sure that I meditated correctly for a long time either, just like you, soI started to read and follow the book. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm making huge progress.

Edited November 29, 2020 by nistake

[r0ckyreed]

27 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

So I would sit there waiting and an amazing thing happened. No mouse (thought) would come out for a while. Then I realized I was thinking “Why isn’t a mouse coming out? Am I doing this right? Maybe if I change the strategy a bit. Perhaps I could change the environment”. The I realized I was lost in thought! It got me! I missed how it happened! Such a sneaky mouse! . . .This time, I’m going to catch the mouse and see how the mouse operates. At first the mice kept tricking me. Yet then I got really into it, as if it were a game. After a while, I sa tarted to get glimpses. “Aha! I see you! That’s how you did it!”. . . This exercise helped me become aware of the mechanisms and process of becoming lost. It helped a lot with getting grounded as the witness. There were times I could sit as the cat observing mice running around me. And I didn’t get lost in chasing them. And after a while, the mice get tired and things naturally calmed down. 

I resonate with that. When I try to become the Witness of thoughts, there is a moment where it is completely still. I am trying to observe the thought, but it is still, then I eventually realize that I have been gone or lost in my thoughts for a while. Kind of like in a dream.

 

37 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

enjoy ♥

Interesting! Thank you for sharing! However, I disagree that “thinking is a disease.” I think that unconscious thinking is disease, but if you are using your mind in a conscious way, such as contemplation then thinking can be good.
 

One thing I’ve noticed when doing a lot of meditation is that my memory about things has gotten worse after sitting still for a long time. Our memory is about repitition of our imagination. Suppressing thoughts can be dangerous. But maybe I am misinterpreting it.
 

My thinking has been a huge ally in my life. I have used critical thinking to help resolve some of my emotions. I have made thinking into my ally, and I notice that many people use their thinking in distorting and limiting ways. Meditation has helped me think more clearly in a way because I feel like I am more aware of when my thinking can be dysfunctional. 
 

But I don’t know, what do you think? I am more of a conceptual/philosophical person in nature. So maybe thinking is used to ground my reality and is the tool of the Devil. I think I may see it now.

[The0Self]

2 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

5 or 10 minutes later I’m like “oh shit! I am not meditating! I am daydreaming! I am lost in my mind!”

This makes your mind not want to be mindful and realize you aren't meditating. Try going "oh wow! I am not meditating!" This way, the realization will happen more often and quickly, until it happens so quickly that the moment it happens is synonymous with the instant you get distracted, meaning distraction never occurs.

2 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Observing my hands, breath and sound have helped me out tremendously, but I cannot seem to become The Witness without eventually being absorbed into my mind.

The Witness is quite an advanced state. Unless you can meditate indefinitely with your attention on one main object, forget about The Witness for the time being. Perhaps read/listen-to The Mind Illuminated (very, very helpful) -- it doesn't even mention The Witness until 2 whole stages after intentionally entering Jhanas becomes feasible.

[Beginner Mind]

In my opinion, the best meditation you can do is simply to allow everything to be as it is, which is just a fancy way of saying, "Just be".  Meditation is not complicated; it actually requires no effort whatsoever.

Edited November 30, 2020 by Beginner Mind

[TripleFly]

20 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

I resonate with that. When I try to become the Witness of thoughts, there is a moment where it is completely still. I am trying to observe the thought, but it is still, then I eventually realize that I have been gone or lost in my thoughts for a while. Kind of like in a dream.

 

Interesting! Thank you for sharing! However, I disagree that “thinking is a disease.” I think that unconscious thinking is disease, but if you are using your mind in a conscious way, such as contemplation then thinking can be good.
 

One thing I’ve noticed when doing a lot of meditation is that my memory about things has gotten worse after sitting still for a long time. Our memory is about repitition of our imagination. Suppressing thoughts can be dangerous. But maybe I am misinterpreting it.
 

My thinking has been a huge ally in my life. I have used critical thinking to help resolve some of my emotions. I have made thinking into my ally, and I notice that many people use their thinking in distorting and limiting ways. Meditation has helped me think more clearly in a way because I feel like I am more aware of when my thinking can be dysfunctional. 
 

But I don’t know, what do you think? I am more of a conceptual/philosophical person in nature. So maybe thinking is used to ground my reality and is the tool of the Devil. I think I may see it now.

Thinking is a disease? Where did you bring that from?

[r0ckyreed]

From the video you shared above

[TripleFly]

21 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

I resonate with that. When I try to become the Witness of thoughts, there is a moment where it is completely still. I am trying to observe the thought, but it is still, then I eventually realize that I have been gone or lost in my thoughts for a while. Kind of like in a dream.

 

Interesting! Thank you for sharing! However, I disagree that “thinking is a disease.” I think that unconscious thinking is disease, but if you are using your mind in a conscious way, such as contemplation then thinking can be good.
 

One thing I’ve noticed when doing a lot of meditation is that my memory about things has gotten worse after sitting still for a long time. Our memory is about repitition of our imagination. Suppressing thoughts can be dangerous. But maybe I am misinterpreting it.
 

My thinking has been a huge ally in my life. I have used critical thinking to help resolve some of my emotions. I have made thinking into my ally, and I notice that many people use their thinking in distorting and limiting ways. Meditation has helped me think more clearly in a way because I feel like I am more aware of when my thinking can be dysfunctional. 
 

But I don’t know, what do you think? I am more of a conceptual/philosophical person in nature. So maybe thinking is used to ground my reality and is the tool of the Devil. I think I may see it now.

Man at this point I think that all my thinking is not going to lead me anywhere. I have seen myself going through these genius states and deep understandings and realizations. And I have also seen myself abuse those to get what I want. My thinking mind, is my emotional-thinking matrix, my ego, my self, whatever you want to call it. 

It's really hard to trust that, and I hope I have learned my lesson by this point. I know a thing or two, but my own arrogance really sucked.

For me it's about going, finding that deep deep sense of love inside. And being whole with that. And reality just spontaneously summons up whatever you need at that point. And I can choose it, safely, because I am coming from love. I think we can be all most vulnerable to love. But we have to be able to tell what it is.

Edited November 30, 2020 by TripleFly

[Moksha]

29 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

Man at this point I think that all my thinking is not going to lead me anywhere...

For me it's about going, finding that deep deep sense of love inside.

That direct realization, and the will to remain in it, will open the door to everything.

[Endangered-EGO]

@r0ckyreed Shinzen young has a guide (5 ways to know yourself) you should read that.

I recommend reading Shinzen Youngs guide I just mentioned and Adyashantis "True Meditation" Book.

I'll give you a hint, there is no difference between meditating or not meditating. There is no doing or not-doing. 

Shinzen Young uses the "Do Nothing Meditation" in contrast to the "labelling meditation". Meditation vs anti meditation he sais.

The do nothing meditation is pretty easy. "Whenever you realise(!) you have the intention to control the attention, let that intention go"
It's not trying not to meditate, it is meditation without effort. If you meditate and you do that sometimes, you'll notice you will simply fall into a concentrated effortless state sometimes.

"If labeling makes you too racey do nothing, if do nothing makes you to spacey, label" - shinzen young

Adyashantis Meditation is maybe perfect for you. It is meditation with as little effort as possible. About 99percent "allowing everything to happen" like the do nothing meditation, and only IF YOU NOTICE you are to deep into thinking, (so you don't have to put effort into it) you bring the attention as gently and calm as possible back to the object of concentration. You let go of the thoughts instead of switching with effort.

You might not be there yet, but a lot of people "fall into meditation" instead of being bored while having to wait for something. You have to find just the right amount of effort to meditate.
 

[The0Self]

27 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

The do nothing meditation is pretty easy. "Whenever you realise(!) you have the intention to control the attention, let that intention go"
It's not trying not to meditate, it is meditation without effort. If you meditate and you do that sometimes, you'll notice you will simply fall into a concentrated effortless state sometimes.

It seems a common mistake with this is truly dropping effort entirely. Until a very late stage, you still want to maintain a single thread of effort: remaining vigilant to notice active intentions that you have conscious control over, so that you can drop them as soon as you recognize them.

[Nahm]

On 11/29/2020 at 11:35 AM, r0ckyreed said:

So for those of you who don’t know. I am a natural contemplator. Contemplation comes naturally for me because I have a deep interest in the Mystery of Existence. I am INTP.

I have been meditating for 2 years, and I am not for sure if I am doing it right.

Meditation’s wonderful. Letting the story go is even better. Insight arises in the empty cup, reality becomes the story. 

[Beginner Mind]

31 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Adyashanti's Meditation is maybe perfect for you.

I second this.  Adyashanti's approach of 'allowing everything to be as it is' is the ultimate (and simplest) meditation.  It effortlessly reveals the peace and joy of your true nature.

[Moksha]

I don't practice meditating much, but most of my life is a meditation. The effort is in staying centered in Consciousness, and allowing its light to dissolve your conditioning. The result is worth it, but it does take courage, integrity, and will.