A New Way Of Thinking...for Me Anyway

[isabel]

 

With a lot of thanks to this forum, I've been unraveling what's happened to me and have some answers as to why. Basically I survived a horrifically abusive childhood, then went on to go through around 12 years of abusive relationships and more horrors and loss, then I basically gave up on the world.

For the last 17 years or so I've had no romantic relationships at all and very few friends and I just work from home and make very little money. It's been extraordinarily difficult and lonely but safe. 

So the other day I found out about a man who lost everything, and on his spiritual journey he discovered that not only was that okay but it turned out to actually be a good thing, it "cleared his karma" and he became free and happy.

Well what if I look at my past as a blessing then? Meaning basically since I've suffered that I now deserve a break, I don't deserve to suffer anymore, I'm done, I've suffered enough.

So is karma real? Can it be cleared by suffering? And how do you know when you've suffered enough? Or if that's not quite right then how do you turn suffering into a blessing? I don't know what questions to ask...

Thank you.

[Prabhaker]

19 minutes ago, isabel said:

Can it be cleared by suffering?

If you don´t escape, if you allow the suffering to be there, if you are ready to face it, if you are not trying somehow to forget it, then you are different. Suffering is there but just around you; it is not in the center, it is on the periphery. It is impossible for suffering to be in the center; it is not in the nature of things. It is always on the periphery and you are the center.

So when you allow it to happen, you don´t escape, you don´t run, you are not in a panic, suddenly you become aware that suffering is there on the periphery as if happening to someone else, not to you, and you are looking at it. A subtle joy spreads all over your being because you have realized one of the basic truths of life, that you are bliss and not suffering.

[cirkussmile]

16 hours ago, isabel said:

Well what if I look at my past as a blessing then? Meaning basically since I've suffered that I now deserve a break, I don't deserve to suffer anymore, I'm done, I've suffered enough.

So is karma real? Can it be cleared by suffering? And how do you know when you've suffered enough? Or if that's not quite right then how do you turn suffering into a blessing? I don't know what questions to ask...

Thank you.

You don't deserve a break, you deserve a complete opposite of what you had. But you have to believe it yourself. If you come to a point when you realize that suffering is not needed anymore you can then be free. Seeing your past as a gift is great! 

Keep meditating, expectet nothing and follow you heart.