Loving the bad things

[73809]

There are things in life that bring me suffering. Stuff like invalidation, boredom, fear, paranoia. 
 

How to love these things? I don’t feel appreciation for them at all. But I feel I should. How to do that? 

[SoonHei]

in some cases, the labeling of the stuff is what's making it difficult.

 

to love, you cannot/should not label it as "bad"

that's already going the wrong way.

 

like a mother dividing her children into categories.

this is my good child and this is my bad child.

i love my good child and i love my bad child - don't seem natural, does it?

the mom loves her child - the good/bad is secondary. love is prior to the labeling of good/bad.

and what is bad vs good? 

bad could mean a child who does not listen to what she says... she says don't play outside past 6pm and he stays out past 6pm - this labels him as bad.

 

taking things at face value is what love does. it is acceptance of who/what they are.

 

what you call fear need not be loved, but seen for what it is... and you will see that fear wasn't the correct title for it to begin with. perhaps it will take away the factor which made loving what-is fearful to simply what-is. then love occurs. love shines forth in the crumbling of your labels and descriptions.

 

and don't Love simply out of an obligation or some concept, that you should be loving to all things/beings. what you know and what you do are 2 different things. until it becomes clear to you and you understand that there's just loving to be done, your attempts at love will be nothing but empty actions - on the surface.

 

to change something, you cannot be in conflict with its being as and where it is. you can change it, better it, move it, work with it, but start with its already being where it is. that you cannot change. acceptance and then action. when acceptance has become natural, then there will only be action. and when there's just action. it is in flow. it is in intelligence. functioning without thought/label/judging - milk has spilled, wipe it clean. that's it.

[Mason Riggle]

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.

— Alan Watts

Often we labeled situations as “bad” if we hate it. And “good” if we like it. But the bad cannot exist without the good, and vice versa.

Whatever happens in our life, we’ll never be sure of the consequences it may bring in the future.

[Nahm]

You can believe in unicorns and leprechauns as well, but good luck loving them (actually finding them). 

[73809]

Thanks for th replies!

[nistake]

How about just accepting them at first? Not trying to change them, not trying to avoid them. Just noticing these emotions and perceptions in the moment and letting them be.

I've been practising this lately and I have to say sometimes it's really difficult. The conditioned mind is always trying to 'feel good' and avoid the bad stuff.