A friend (girl) that doesnt reciprocate

[evgn]

Hey guys, there is one girl, friend of mine(or atleast i thought so) which almost never iniate anything first. 

We started hang out with mutual friends (sometimes 1on1) since the begining of this year. We literaliy used to go out atleast once per week this whole year so we became prety close i guess. 

The issue is that this particular girl has barely ever initiating anything, almost never text first, almost never invite to go somewhere.

Before one month she went abroad  to study in university and i texted her once asking her what is going on and so on and so forth.

So my question is wheter its worth it to try maintain some friendship with someone who dont reciprocate your level of investment, or i have to cut her completely, never text anymore, never contact her again?

P.S I am not pursuing her in terms of trying to have some romantic relationship with her, i just like her because she is cool person.

[evgn]

Sometimes its very tempting to text her asking her how is she but i stop myself i say ok why would i do that, she has never done that, any relationship romantic or friendship has to be mutual thing...

Edited November 24, 2020 by evgn

[Shin]

14 minutes ago, evgn said:

Sometimes its very tempting to text her asking her how is she but i stop myself i say ok why would i do that, she has never done that, any relationship romantic or friendship has to be mutual thing...

I think you already know the answer but are not accepting it as of now.

[loub]

I'm like that too. I'm horrible over text, basically if I don't have you in front of me in some form I barely think about you. Don't take that personally.

In terms of what you should do now: why do anything? She lives in a different city, you can't meet regularly. If you feel like it text her about that cool new Pink Floyd song you just discovered. Other than that you will meet her when you are both home for Christmas. There's really no point in an active long distance friendship. Doesn't mean you're not friends anymore.

[egoeimai]

54 minutes ago, loub said:

I'm like that too. I'm horrible over text, basically if I don't have you in front of me in some form I barely think about you. Don't take that personally.

In terms of what you should do now: why do anything? She lives in a different city, you can't meet regularly. If you feel like it text her about that cool new Pink Floyd song you just discovered. Other than that you will meet her when you are both home for Christmas. There's really no point in an active long distance friendship. Doesn't mean you're not friends anymore.

I disagree. That happened to me. 

As I see it, it's nice to communicate and don't lose contact with the person that interests u. 

[Spiral]

A lot of people will starting texting conversations by asking someone how the are doing. Do they honesty want to know? Must of the time no. Does the receiver think they honestly want to know? Must of the time no. 
 

Do people ask this as a way to just start the conversation before getting to what they actually want to talk about. Definitely. However a lot of the time they don’t actually have anything they want to share and just feel lonely, bored and/or desire conformation.

Texting with people, who just text you because their bored etc isn’t a lot of fun. It doesn’t matter if they are your friend/partner etc.

[Byun Sean]

From the looks of your post it looks like you are developing strong feelings for her to be more than friends but are not willing to admit it.

 

 

[Ayubb]

I think you are being needy. find a hobby to occupy your time with. if she is not initiating the conversations as you are doing, that means the relationship is one sided. you are more interested in the conversation than she is. find friends ( or romantic interests) that actually value your efforts and time. have some pride and confidence in yourself.

[evgn]

27 minutes ago, Ayubb said:

have some pride and confidence in yourself.

Yep, this is why i wont text her again..