Connor Murphy has Eckhart-style awakening

[Forestluv]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Forestluv Do you mean places that are outside of the physical realm or places that are insights into the state of the world and human experience?

I don’t think it’s helpful for me to get into. It would be like describing what it’s it like to be tortured in a dungeon and it’s never going to end. 

[Thought Art]

@Forestluv You mean like most peoples realities right now?

Look, I have gone into Hellish voids on 5meo-Dipt. Both beautiful and terrifying. Luckily I had a spirit guide. I am not fucking around. I want the truth, I want my brothers and sisters to be happy and healthy. 

The church, the white race and 2 world wars plus has fucked us....

 

Just want to remind everyone reading this that these substances can be very dangerous and to be very careful doing them. 

I take responsibility for my experiences.

Edited November 27, 2020 by Thought Art

[electroBeam]

21 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

I’d be careful with ideas like “that’s something I’d like to experience”. Would you like to experience something so traumatic you become permanently insane and spend the rest of your life in a psychiatric ward? That was the price of admission for me. Yet I don’t know what the price is for others. 

You're not in a psyche ward, so you're exaggerating

Avoiding traumatic experiences is a loosing game in this work, because for as long as we're finite(not fully awake) we will be forever exploring and expanding, and there's absolutely no guarantees that a particular expansion will be 100% safe. For you to discover the truth, it might be that insanity or trauma is necessary. If you avoid it, you'll forever be avoiding what you want to seek, and if you're avoiding a particular expansion, then you'll be depressed until you finally take the leap into being or discovering it.

And even beyond that, truth is not bound to feeling good or particular states or avoiding trauma. Truth is a scientific inquiry into how the world works, and we aren't practicing good truth seeking if we only discover truth that we like. Yeah im sure that was traumatic for you (clearly not enough to send you forever to a psyche ward otherwise you wouldnt be an academic) but truth is to be discovered independent of how traumatic it is. I'm sure that seeing how a me is 'born' would have been so insightful and extremely profound, even if the process was absolutely devastating mentally. What's really the point of life other then discovering? Is the point really to avoid trauma? Is that really going to hold up in the long run? Satisfy you in the long run? Eventually you'll get sick of avoiding trauma and discover what the truth is.

edit: I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for not getting into a psyche ward yet lol. Worst I've been is the emergency ward over a panic attack. Can't believe how many on here report going to psyche wards. They could be exaggerating though, who knows.

Edited November 27, 2020 by electroBeam

[The0Self]

1 minute ago, Thought Art said:

@The0Self See, I really don't know how far along I am with any of the given the nature of infinity and implicit understanding. LSD has awakened me to a LOT of things. But, I haven't gone deep. I do 1p-LSD and I do not get any visuals.

 

Hmm, maybe increase the dose, change sources, or get LSD-25. Just 110ug (used to require much more; up to 1000ug) of good LSD will get me to such a high state of consciousness that I can barely see the room I'm in, my body feels like it's the size of the universe, and I cannot even remember that I'm a human. Also, quite often, experience inverts -- like I'm God looking in at conscious experience rather than out, from infinity -- I have experienced a similar state just from self inquiry as well.

[Thought Art]

@The0Self See, I am not really interested in tripping, or whatever. I really want to become the more aware and conscious being so I can awaken the species. I will burn the world down to figure out how to do this.

I am learning more about my body and my consciousness at the Tantric festival than I have in years of working on my own shit. I am open minded. 

Sometimes on 5meodmt I probably do lose my footing, but because of the nature of this beast I am willing to trip. I am patient. I grew up as a cyclist, swimmer and a triathlete. You don't know how deep I've gone in terms of suffering. Plus, I write super great poems on my trips ahaha

@Leo Gura I appreciate you brother. Be patient with me. I love you.

Edited November 27, 2020 by Thought Art

[The0Self]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@The0Self See, I am not really interested in tripping, or whatever. I really want to become the more aware and conscious being so I can awaken the species. I will burn the world down to figure out how to do this.

Sometimes on 5meodmt I probably do lose my footing. But, I am patient. Plus, I write super great poems on my trips ahaha

I'm not interested in tripping either. I rarely do it these days. If you go "too far," you may realize there's nothing to be done -- everything is already perfection. Whether that'll stop your character from continuing to do what it sees as awakening the species or whatever is completely unknown.

[AtheisticNonduality]

51 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There are realms of infinite horror.

Physically impossible for a horror to be infinite since it would no longer be dual. But I suppose our physical universe is infinitely big.

[Thought Art]

@The0Self No, I find my love just keeps growing.

"I thought... I found a way to enter... It's just a refletkor...."

Maybe if you do too much you just become the Flower and Song ahaha

reflection of a reflection of a reflection of a reflection

 

Edited November 27, 2020 by Thought Art

[The0Self]

3 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@The0Self No, I find my love just keeps growing.

"I thought... I found a way to enter... It's just a refletkor...."

Maybe if you do too much you just become the Flower and Song ahaha

reflection of a reflection of a reflection of a reflection

 

By "too far" I mean the point at which you realize: that love doesn't belong to you -- it's all there is, and there's no you. A person doesn't survive the recognition of unconditional love.

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Forestluv said:

There were several long term effects and I think there was neural rewiring, the only negative one is auditory hallucinations persist.

What is the quality of those hallucinations?

[Thought Art]

@The0Self I think I am becoming a Universal Human. 

54 minutes ago, The0Self said:

 A person doesn't survive the recognition of unconditional love.

I have only experienced reality from my own perspective.

I know that I am Leo Gura, even though he is flying a duality flag. I also know I am everyone on the forum and the field holding it all together. I mean, you don't have to be a genius to know you are the whole universe.

However, insights take time and happen over time. Waking up to me being Leo, or being Trump, or Hitler all happened at different occasians and the understanding is of course partial to my perspective. But, there are so many lenses to look through. I wish I could hold them all at once but the forgetfulness is a challenge. I get so many insights I am working day and night to actualized, integrate and root myself in God.

Edited November 27, 2020 by Thought Art

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, electroBeam said:

You're not in a psyche ward, so you're exaggerating

No, I’m not exaggerating. That was the price of entry. One reason I don’t talk about these types of experiences much is because people not in the know say things like “you’re exaggerating”.

1 hour ago, electroBeam said:

Avoiding traumatic experiences is a loosing game in this work, because for as long as we're finite(not fully awake) we will be forever exploring and expanding, and there's absolutely no guarantees that a particular expansion will be 100% safe. For you to discover the truth, it might be that insanity or trauma is necessary. If you avoid it, you'll forever be avoiding what you want to seek, and if you're avoiding a particular expansion, then you'll be depressed until you finally take the leap into being or discovering it.

And even beyond that, truth is not bound to feeling good or particular states or avoiding trauma. Truth is a scientific inquiry into how the world works, and we aren't practicing good truth seeking if we only discover truth that we like. Yeah im sure that was traumatic for you (clearly not enough to send you forever to a psyche ward otherwise you wouldnt be an academic) but truth is to be discovered independent of how traumatic it is. I'm sure that seeing how a me is 'born' would have been so insightful and extremely profound, even if the process was absolutely devastating mentally. What's really the point of life other then discovering? Is the point really to avoid trauma? Is that really going to hold up in the long run? Satisfy you in the long run? Eventually you'll get sick of avoiding trauma and discover what the truth is.

edit: I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for not getting into a psyche ward yet lol. Worst I've been is the emergency ward over a panic attack. Can't believe how many on here report going to psyche wards. They could be exaggerating though, who knows.

That’s some fun stuff to philosophize about in Starbucks. Yet it ain’t remotely close to actually facing and working through what I’m pointing at. 

[Forestluv]

16 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

What is the quality of those hallucinations?

Nonstop tinnitus and clicking sounds in my head. 

[Thought Art]

@Forestluv I also have tinnitus. Sending love!

[electroBeam]

11 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

No, I’m not exaggerating. That was the price of entry. One reason I don’t talk about these types of experiences much is because people not in the know say things like “you’re exaggerating”.

I was being literal. You said you are in the psyche ward for the rest of your life because of that experience. That's incorrect because you're an academic, and you're talking on here. Ff you're being metaphorical, then that's on you to explain, because I can't read your mind.

13 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

That’s some fun stuff to philosophize about in Starbucks. Yet it ain’t remotely close to actually facing and working through what I’m pointing at. 

I'm not trying to devalue your experience, but if you aint willing to go insane, get schizophrenic and psychotic symptoms, you aint discovering the truth. That's factually correct for almost everyone (except the deeply spiritually talented).

[Death_]

@Thought Art I also have tinnitus. Does everyone have tinnitus?

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, electroBeam said:

I was being literal. You said you are in the psyche ward for the rest of your life because of that experience. That's incorrect because you're an academic, and you're talking on here. Ff you're being metaphorical, then that's on you to explain, because I can't read your mind.

No, I was not being metaphorical. The price of entry was becoming permanently insane and spending the rest of my life in a psychiatric ward. The was only one of the prices of admission. As I said, I don’t like to discuss it for the very reason. People who don’t understand that try to correct me or say I’m exaggerating. 

4 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

I'm not trying to devalue your experience, but if you aint willing to go insane, get schizophrenic and psychotic symptoms, you aint discovering the truth. That's factually correct for almost everyone (except the deeply spiritually talented).

Yes, that is great stuff to chat about in a safe comfortable space. A walk in the park. It isn’t remotely close to actually facing and working through what I’m pointing at.

This is why I don’t talk about these experiences much. People without the experience theorize about it, yet don’t understand the actuality of it. 

[Grateful Dead]

8 minutes ago, Death_ said:

I also have tinnitus. Does everyone have tinnitus?

yeah I also got it

 

 

 

[diamondpenguin]

14 minutes ago, acidgoofy said:

yeah I also got it

 

 

 

Yea I do too. That makes 4 at least 

[electroBeam]

26 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

No, I was not being metaphorical. The price of entry was becoming permanently insane and spending the rest of my life in a psychiatric ward. The was only one of the prices of admission. As I said, I don’t like to discuss it for the very reason. People who don’t understand that try to correct me or say I’m exaggerating.

Ok then, my bad. I misunderstood your situation. I thought you were a humanities academic who takes psychedelics recreationally. If you're actually someone in a psyche ward, or you're half someone in a psyche ward, teach part time, or something like that, I apologies because I was being harsh saying you were exaggerating.

26 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

Yes, that is great stuff to chat about in a safe comfortable space. A walk in the park. It isn’t remotely close to actually facing and working through what I’m pointing at.

Just keep in mind I'm not taking about theory, I'm talking about actual psychotic experiences. But I can definitely see how such psychosis would seem like a walk in the park compared to more extreme spiritual practices like what you've done.

Its not like I havent experienced anything you're talking about, I got banned remember partially(or at least in relation) to such experiences you're pointing to.

26 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

This is why I don’t talk about these experiences much. People without the experience theorize about it, yet don’t understand the actuality of it. 

Well I try to be (including in this dialogue) as honest as possible, and just share things which deeply feel right to me. I simply said you were exaggerating because there were inconsistencies between your previous posts and these posts, that I knew for sure because I read them. I had no intention of projecting beyond that inconsistency, because anything beyond that was unknown to me. Now that I know more, I'll react differently next time. I try to be(and believe I did) very conservative when it comes to projecting what other people experience, their situation, and capabilities of consciousness. And my previous comment about avoiding trauma was just my experience I was sharing, I wasn't trying to project anything onto you. If you're so traumatized that my comment sounds absurd, I totally agree with you partially, because I have been in places where I needed to take a break off psychedelics because I was about to loose my job, sanity, everything if I continued(almost did, I stopped going to work for 2 weeks and just lived in the bush without a tent and camping gear without giving them noticed, would never post that experience here because I would get banned like the other time). I was just expressing one perspective out of many for sharing, not trying to say that particular perspective is absolute or better then yours.

I'm super curious about your experiences, and would love if you shared more. The very few you have shared are fascinating to me, super fascinated about getting the ego again one. I wont judge at all if that triggered you, I've messaged you privately in the past on similar lines. Although I have a feeling that you don't want to share those experiences beyond just people judging you.

Edited November 27, 2020 by electroBeam