Sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant Males

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, Loving Radiance said:

Is this also the case for males considering the culture?

Yes, it is often because of Anima possession that certain men exploit and denigrate women.

The Anima possessed man pushes away his feminine side because of the social repercussions of seeming feminine and the stigma around femininity.

This gives these men a deep repulsion/attraction reaction towards women where they feel this monumental threat from women and seek to pull them off their perceived pedestal. But in reality it is just a man's rejected Anima, wanting to make him feel her pain of rejection. So, she projects herself onto women as a whole group and makes them appear like these beautiful, harsh, pedestaled women who hold the power to judge male worth in their hands.

So, the man who rejects his feminine side develops and extreme fear of women and their perceived power over them. So, these Anima possessed men try to get their power back from these powerful women by oppressing them... when in reality they're really just kicking an already oppressed group when they're down. 

This then creates Animus possession in women because it is not safe to truly surrender to a man who is in a state of Anima possession because he sees himself as a victim of women's beauty and power. So, the Anima-possessed man tries to strip her of her power and exploit all vulnerabilities and to break her spirit. 

This creates a reaction in women where they cope with this external force by becoming Animus possessed and forming a hard shell and hiding away the feminine... which is the target of the insecurities of Anima possessed men who seek to strip her of her power.

And this creates a situation where the woman longs to surrender but cannot because it is not safe to surrender and show their femininity around men who have a fear of femininity. This is also why society at large has such an imbalance towards masculinity and that deep femininity doesn't have much space in our society at present.

Long story short, the root of this issue comes from shaming men for being feminine and them repressing their feminine side... which then creates an unsafe place where femininity can't safely be expressed.

[bejapuskas]

Sorry Preety I did not mean to advocate for arranged marriage, patriarchy or rape by mentioning that example of a Bangladeshi woman being ok with getting her husband chosen by her parents. I thought it would provide a different perspective. 

[Elisabeth]

@Preety_India This is a terribly long flamy thread. I have no idea if you got your answers or not. If you wanna talk more in private, feel free to send me a pm, ok?

[Loving Radiance]

@Etherial Cat Yeah, I feel so connected when seeing that both masculine & feminine need healing for toxic expressions in culture to cease.

 

@Emerald What would it look like to own/integrate the feminine anima? Surrender?

Edited November 25, 2020 by Loving Radiance

[Emerald]

28 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

@Etherial Cat Yeah, I feel so connected when seeing that both masculine & feminine need healing for toxic expressions in culture to cease.

 

@Emerald What would it look like to own/integrate the feminine anima?

Dropping resistance to all things in the personality and reality that are informed mostly by Yin. 

But generally speaking, the biggest thing a person can do to ACTIVELY integrate their Anima is to ground themselves in their emotions, intuition, and instincts. The feminine is all about what brings us closer to nature, including the nature within ourselves. 

But the big problem that stands in the way of Anima integration is that the feminine has a stigma in society. So, dropping that resistance to the feminine and deconstructing the stigma is important too. So, if you look at traditionally/culturally feminine things, notice any sense of aversion to it and explore into that.

Also, many things that are esoterically feminine but that are not culturally feminine often have a similar stigma. So, getting to know what things are esoterically feminine and dropping resistance to those things as well. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Emerald

[Loving Radiance]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

ground themselves in their emotions, intuition, and instincts

Can repeated/habitual rejection & ignorance of intuition, emotions and instincts lead to possession of feminine anima?

Edited November 25, 2020 by Loving Radiance

[Ananta]

16 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

In my opinion, even if a woman is hyper sexual, it's just a positive thing.

Not really.

Here's the definition-

Hypersexuality:

An obsession with sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors that may cause distress or that negatively affects health, job, or relationships.

 

Edited November 26, 2020 by Ananta

[Lyubov]

wtf did this thread turn into 0_o 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

wtf did this thread turn into 0_o 

I know right. There is so much derailing Going on and I'm very disappointed. 

Mods don't do anything. 

They don't tell people to stick to the topic. 

There are so many mods but not one mod is interested in simply commenting to stick to the topic. 

 

[Michal__]

That's completely normal & healthy. Many women have such fantasies.

[Sauvik]

Congrats , on being able to pull off this post of yours without going anonymous, 

I am recently dealing with a similar situation with a girl I was dating, I will share it, she's a colleague who joined office about 2 months ago, outwardly she is shy and introverted. It took me about a month with her to realise that she is actually very attracted to abusive behaviour. And Normal relationshipy behaviour is boring for her.

We have been together for about 1.5 months now, after we got physical she started to indicate that she wanted things to be serious between us. I didn't object.

I was trying to own her, be a container for her as a man, as well as I am dominant enough along with maintaining Mutual respect between us.

But just a few days back I got to know that she has beed talking and meeting with another guy behind my back, i have also managed to hear them talk ( she was calling him from our office phone where calls are recorded). That guy from his voice and way of speaking seemed like a total illiterate douche and spoke to her in a pretty disrespectful way and she was in her feminine totally enjoying it.

I have confronted her with this but she wasn't completely honest even while she was confessing stuff, I have decided to not keep anything serious between us as a result of this although she is pleading for things to go back to how they were.

 

All this has now left me really confused, from some study that I have been doing I have sort of come to a conclusion that, this was a case of extreme low self esteem and This girl was not a relationship material.

 

I think to a certain extent this desire is okay, but it can go into dark realms if there are some unresolved issues and traumas. Like in this girl's case.

Any suggestions or comments having varied perspectives on this  are welcome. 

[Preety_India]

@Sauvik  I've never supported abusive behavior in my post. So be careful with your judgement. 

Hard sex or rough sex or extra playful sex is not Abusive behavior. 

It's my sexual fantasy and no need to congrats me and then go on to put me down. 

A girl expressed her sexual fantasy. Big deal????????? 

No I'm not looking for some disrespectful man to disrespect me. 

Understand the boundary between disrespect and sexual fantasy. 

And no. I never said that I get attracted to disrespectful men, they are a huge turn off for me and I reject them right away. 

To impress me it takes a ton. So don't be quick to judge. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

@Nahm mods please close this thread. It's enough!!