Sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant Males

[Preety_India]

17 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Yes it sounds silly to you. If you actually talk a with stage blue Muslim girl( for example) .. It's absolutely forbidden in Islam (as an example) to have anal  or oral sex. So if you happend to marry a Muslim woman.. No such sexual fantasies for you. Ofcourse this might sound silly and absurd to you because you are woke af.. But from her perspective it's different. Now what makes your perspective any more valid? In fact there are medical negative consequences for having anal sex and oral sex. It's just unnatural. The asshole was made to poop and the mouth to eat and drink. not to fuck. Don't use the wrong tool for the wrong goal. 

https://www.cdc.gov/std/healthcomm/stdfact-stdriskandoralsex.htm

 

You have absolutely zero clue about women. 

Lmao. This is unreal. Even vaginal sex is painful at first. So by this logic stop using the vagina lol. 

With any form of sex there are risks. 

There is vaginal bleeding with sex. I can show you reports where vaginal bleeding has caused infections in women. 

You have some misinformed medical ideas on sex. 

Do you know the greatest threat of vaginal sex......unwanted Pregnancy!! 

A lot of women prefer anal sex because they don't want to get pregnant because even with birth control pills, there is a possibility of getting pregnant if the condom broke or if the pills didn't work. 

I myself had anal sex with my bf to prevent a pregnancy. 

And regarding vaginal sex, no there is no guarantee of anything being medically safe. 

https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/bleeding-after-sex#complications

You have no idea about a woman's body. 

[Gesundheit]

4 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

@Someone here 

We're touching another interesting topic, and that's the need and demand for self-expression, or the suppression of self-expression and how this is different in difference societies/countries.

What if self-expression is toxic to the collective?

[Preety_India]

10 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

What if self-expression is toxic to the collective?

What if the collective expression is toxic to an individual's expression? 

 

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, Blackhawk said:

Then tell me, how come a dominant male enjoys licking?

As I said above, the roles are interchangeable for the sake of thrill. A dominant man can enjoy cunniligus when it makes the woman under his control. He dominates her with pleasure.

[Preety_India]

How is a woman being sexually free toxic to the collective? 

 

[Shin]

That can't be right, Denmark is a socialist marxist evil country.

It can't be more free than USA, obviously !

@Preety_India If the agenda of the country is to oppress women to serves the need of the men, then it is perceived as toxic for those men.

Edited November 25, 2020 by Shin

[Eph75]

@Gesundheit the countries that are biased towards greater acceptance of self-expression is typically countries that are more/better functioning from the larger perspective. That doesn't mean that some toxicity can't form around whatever self-expression that appears, but in long term I believe that it has always shown to be contributing towards progression of increasingly healthy societies.

[Someone here]

32 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

@Someone here That has more to do with suppression of sexuality than it has to do with inherent sexuality. It being forbidden doesn't mean that such women are not curious about and attracted to that which is "absolutely forbidden".

It's much like saying that people in places where homosexuality are strictly forbidden do not have inherent homosexual tendencies.

This is pretty interesting, what is and what is not natural. If nature allows it to be possible, practically speaking, then it is natural. What is impossible in nature is unnatural, e.g. birds can fly & people can't [without machines].

Everything is just bias towards different perspectives, and such bias is subjective, such as this bias.

If the goal is to reach orgasm, and anal sex makes you reach orgasm, possibly easier than traditional sex due to psychological factors, then it can be seen a tool to reach a goal.

If you like it or not, if a society likes it or not, if it's repressed or denied or not, that's irrelevant from an individual perspective.

We're touching another interesting topic, and that's the need and demand for self-expression, or the suppression of self-expression and how this is differently accepted in difference societies/countries.

I agree with everything you said. Keep in mind I'm not leaning towards any side here. I'm just getting carried with the convo and going with the flow here. I'm just pointing out some facts. Anal sex is the main cause of STDs such as HIV and many others because the asshole is filled with germs and bacteria etc. It is just not made for sex. It's the last place you should stick your ding dong in. I'm not making any moral judgment here or attacking anyone for having a specific desire. Just adding some wider perspectives. 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Someone here

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Shin said:

If the agenda of the country is to oppress women to serves the need of the men, then it is perceived as toxic for those men.

Such agenda is evil. Any form of oppression of any gender is evil and authoritarian and obviously there should be a rebellion against it. 

 

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Such agenda is evil. Any form of oppression of any gender is evil and authoritarian and obviously there should be a rebellion against it. 

 

It's not evil, the women in those country see this as totally normal.

[tsuki]

On 23.11.2020 at 7:50 PM, Preety_India said:

It feels like a relief to recreate/relive traumatic scenarios because it feels like familiar attachment or at least a memory of such bonding /attachment. 

This is how early childhood trauma may express itself in sexuality. When you peel the persona off and are very vulnerable, such behaviors may surface which can be confusing. I am glad that you are aware that this pattern is unhelpful and draw a line between it an healthy sexuality.

It may have come about because one of your parents did not respect your boundaries as a child or infant and you had to misconstrue the definition of love so that it incorporates such behavior. Depending on how early this happened, it may be intellectual, or not. An infant does not think in words, it starts off by learning how to create emotions and they express various things, including attraction and love.  When this pattern has manifested for a long time, the intellect may work in reverse, to justify the emotional need for such treatment by a sexual partner.

What has to be understood (intellectually at first) is that playing these fantasies out will never satisfy you because it is rooted in falsehood and confusion. Your inner infant does not want to be mistreated, but rather taken care of and loved, but it has associated that with being violated so it asks for violation, rather than actual love. This is why indulgence in these kinds of fantasies are scary and unsatisfactory, even if they are very exciting. The infant will create emotions that incentivise seeking it, but it is ultimately not what it wants. You have to understand that children will adapt to their parents to get love or the closest approximation.

What is also important to note is that this mistreatment by a parent is not necessarily about hitting you, or acts of physical violence. For example, you may have shown signs of being overstimulated and your mother did not read this properly and tried to interact with you past your limits. This is subtle because infants are very sensitive. You can read about early childhood trauma to learn more about that. What gives PTSD to infants is different from what gives PTSD to soldiers.

What ultimately needs to happen is that you have to see this impulse for what it really is. When these emotions arise, you have to name them clearly. Seeking brutality from your partner is never something that you should be doing. This is not love, this is violence. It sends mixed signals and deters both of you from building a stable relationship with a single, unified direction.

I am not advocating for denying the fact that you have these fantasies. On the contrary - you should explore them, but consciously, and with presence. You have to really see for yourself whether it is what you want or not. Do you feel joy as it happens? Does it satisfy your thirst for it? Do you feel connected to your partner and feel that you can trust him? Why do you feel guilty for having these thoughts? Why is it not socially acceptable? Why do you fear telling these fantasies to your partner even if he's close to you and could hurt you by rejecting them? There are hundreds of questions like those that can be asked and answered and will reveal to you what this impulse is. Healthy sexuality helps build intimacy and trust and is in line with the general outlook of a relationship.

Edited November 25, 2020 by tsuki

[bejapuskas]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

It's not evil, the women in those country see this as totally normal.

Some really do. I know a girl from Bangladesh who got married at 19 to a guy her parents chose for her and she feels good about it actually. She is actually sad that her friends started to judge her after this happened. I guess it is not impossible for women to agree with patriarchy. But at the moment I don't think there is a country in this world without patriarchy and it can be very toxic, even though I sometimes have difficulties distinguishing between when it is women victimizing themselves too much and when it is an actual issue. 

[Preety_India]

To be frank a sexually repressed woman is no big benefit to a man. In fact he will experience much less pleasure with her because she might even lose interest in sex or not bring it up at all or just have incentives to avoid sex even if the man needs it. 

I have no idea how is a man happy sexually suppressing a woman, how does he feel knowing that her needs were never expressed. How does he know if she might want something and have a deep fear in expressing it. 

Is he happy having her in constant fear of being shamed? 

Is he happy that maybe she is not satisfied in bed and only pretending to be happy with the sex? Does he not want to experiment different ways of pleasuring her? 

Women have an uncanny ability of pretension. They can have fake orgasms (learned from my girlfriends), some women might not experience orgasm at all out of fear of being slut shamed by the husband or boyfriend. Are men with extremely conservative opinions on women okay with such repression? 

I have seen and heard millions of women in my country suffering sexual repression. Some don't even masturbate. This is reality. They don't even know what female masturbation is? 

When I had my first Indian boyfriend a few years ago and I told him that I masturbate, he was completely shocked and he asked "what is that?" I felt very embarrassed having to explain him what masturbation as a female meant and I felt shamed immediately because in his eyes I was some slut who was committing some l kind of a crime by engaging in something as natural as masturbation. 

I felt deeply shamed and turned to my cousin who was an older woman (slightly older) and she explained to me that it was completely normal for a girl to get sexual feelings in her teens. There was nothing to be ashamed about it. 

I was already suicidal because of the intense shaming by my first boyfriend 

But my next bf was very supportive. 

Sexual repression of women is very bad. I've heard stories of women who were very unhappy in their marriages in India and the men forced them to have sex and most of these women felt very shamed to even have sex so they felt raped and violated and so the marriage never worked. They were sent to therapy and counseling to make them understand what sex means.. But obviously such counseling doesn't help much if the trauma is deep.

Such women also suffered a lot during their pregnancies because their reproductive systems and hormonal levels were stunted by such sexual repression. 

This is needless suffering. Sexual shaming of women is just another way of oppression of women and it is evil. 

Lately women have become more sexually free and men in such countries pose a major backlash to a woman's sexual independence. 

It's basically killing her womb. 

A man should not have a right to decide what a woman does with her body. That itself is the violation of basic human liberty. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, Shin said:

It's not evil, the women in those country see this as totally normal.

They have been conditioned to believe that male oppression of women is normal. 

With deep conditioning anything can be made to be accepted as normal. 

 

[Preety_India]

Not only do a huge percentage of women in my country suffered hormonal and reproductive issues and marital issues because of deep sexual shaming and repression, the question really is how is it fair to block a woman's sexual feelings? 

I asked a few older women around me. And to my surprise they don't even know what sexual enjoyment feels like despite being married for so many years. They don't know  what an orgasm feels like? They never had desires. They simply got impregnated and engaged in sex but could not decide whether it was satisfactory or not 

 They never lived the sexual emotions of a woman. They never knew how to feel like a woman, they only knew how to dress up like a woman and cook in the kitchen. Apart from that they had never explored other sexual aspects of being a woman. As a result they had never experienced sexual joy that a woman naturally experiences while having sex with a man. They never expressed what they wanted in sex or when they wanted it. It is something they never even wanted in the first place, they just never the need for it other than when the husband slept with them to which they passively surrendered without enjoying it like a plastic doll on the bed. 

My question is how is it fair that a large percentage of women  in my country doesn't even get to know how a woman should naturally feel with a man she is attracted to if there is such strong sexual repression of her sexuality and how is denying her this basic joy (sexual joy) fair in any way? 

So blocking her sexual desires and emotions and depriving her of basic sexual happiness fair and normal and we should simply accept it as patriarchy and be happy with it? 

I agree that some women might be happy in such cultures. But are they happy because they're made to believe that this is happiness or are they truly happy from within? 

Maybe their happiness is the result of social conditioning that they have come to accept. Maybe some of them are waking up and realizing that they have repressed desires slowly showing up in their minds. 

The final thing is that it's really wrong for men to decide how women should be. Just as it would be wrong and unnatural if women decided what men should do with their minds and bodies. 

This is basic individual liberty and there is no arguing against it as wrong or right. 

 

Anything that supports such oppression is nothing but moral cultural relativism and in the greater scheme of things, cultural relativism falls apart because anything can be supported in the form of cultural relativism, even the most violent forms of abuses and injustices. How can such a society evolve if it remains stuck in cultural relativism trap. 

Men who assume and think that women are happy in countries oppressive to women should really research into something called the Stockholm Syndrome. 

It's always easy to dominate humans and make them feel that something is happening in their best interests, like it happens in cults. Supporting such a theory is very dangerous. 

Repression and Oppression is always dangerous and it doesn't become less evil just because people have become used to it or accepted it. They need to be liberated from it. 

 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Raze]

45 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

How is a woman being sexually free toxic to the collective? 

We don't know if it isn't toxic to the collective. Large scale sexual freedom like we are beginning to have in societies hasn't been seen before in history, there is no telling what will happen. Frankly at this point based on fertility rates it's possible in the long run secular sexually free societies simply die out. 

Most westerners would say arranged marriages are barbaric, but studies show arranged marriages lead to happier relationships on average . Not to say I support arranged marriages, it's just an example. In the end what works is what survives.

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

They have been conditioned to believe that male oppression of women is normal. 

With deep conditioning anything can be made to be accepted as normal. 

Right but it's not that simple. Everyone has conditioning. It's easy to point to other people's conditioning and say they are conditioned, but often times we are just conditioned in a different way, not necessarily free of conditioning. A lot of the conditioning basically evolved to be that way because the societies that had that conditioning grew and societies that didn't or lost it died out. 

[Shin]

24 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

Some really do. I know a girl from Bangladesh who got married at 19 to a guy her parents chose for her and she feels good about it actually. She is actually sad that her friends started to judge her after this happened. I guess it is not impossible for women to agree with patriarchy. But at the moment I don't think there is a country in this world without patriarchy and it can be very toxic, even though I sometimes have difficulties distinguishing between when it is women victimizing themselves too much and when it is an actual issue. 

It's a matter of evolution of consciousness, so it's really not toxic or bad, it's just how it is.

They don't know any better, they are doing all of it unconsciously, just like we do (just at a different level).

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

They have been conditioned to believe that male oppression of women is normal. 

With deep conditioning anything can be made to be accepted as normal.

 

You're conditioned right now with a lot of things too.

The only difference is that you can't see your conditioning, but you can see others and therefore judge them as bad.

Someone that can see your conditioning is doing the same (and someone else is doing the same to him too).

[Preety_India]

@Raze  it's important to understand whether the conditioning aligns with basic human principles and biological set up, 

52 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

@Gesundheit the countries that are biased towards greater acceptance of self-expression is typically countries that are more/better functioning from the larger perspective. That doesn't mean that some toxicity can't form around whatever self-expression that appears, but in long term I believe that it has always shown to be contributing towards progression of increasingly healthy societies.

And when countries are more aligned with natural self expression, basic human principles and biology they are shown to be contributing towards progression of increasingly healthy societies and good growth. 

Whereas countries that are oppressive towards women show much higher rates of depression in women and slower economic growth. 

 

[Preety_India]

Ok I'm really fed up and I give up. I don't have words to describe how I feel. 

Some of you guys are actually defending the oppression of women in oppressive countries. Unbelievable. 

And some of you are defending the sexual repression of women. 

I am just disgusted by this display of a very myopic vision of women and such misogyny. 

And you guys talk about practicing spirituality. All spirituality goes to the drain when you cannot even respect the gender from whose vagina you were born from. 

Carry on with your women oppressive views. I haven't got whole day to argue with yall. 

This whole thread went to the drain. 

Carry on with your shaming. I'm done. 

 

[Preety_India]

@AMTO again it's all your projection. You're simply looking at me through your own glasses and I don't wish to argue with you. 

I'm done with this thread 

Please don't mention me because I don't wish to go on talking about this endlessly. 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Preety_India