Sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant Males

[electroBeam]

@Nahm reiki effects more then just the heart chakra does it?

EDIT: on 2nd thought, I'm offended you'd think I lie on this forum

 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by electroBeam

[Eph75]

7 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Nothing wrong with me being inquisitive and wanting support, help, resources and advice and so far all the replies from people have been amazingly helpful. 

Absolutely not. Openness and vulnerability is key to growth. Still, also self-deception is something that needs to be explored in the self-actualizing journey. It's easy to build a narrow path of exploration and not taking on a more holistic perspective on being-ness and needing-ness.

Looking at it [more] objectively, posting does produce attention, and affirmation will follow, especially in a loving and accepting community, and especially through such acknowledgement that rubs us right. These rubbings produces serotonin and a temporary high, it simply makes us feel good. Dopamin follows which encourages us come back for more, and posting of new things, the chase for more serotonin. If not careful, the journey can take a turn that becomes centered around such gratification rather than being self-change oriented. It's important to look for such patterns in our behavior and ask ourselves such tough questions as am I deceiving myself by doing this and is this the ego at play trying to fulfill its deficiency needs.

Own self-deceptions are not easy to spot. And indications from others are easily shot down as being projections. Self-deception including but of course not limited to above. In that sense, we can learn to better accept feedback and criticism and allow them to become indicators for self-inquiry.

Edited November 25, 2020 by Eph75

[Someone here]

Who cares? We all have all kinds of sick and twisted fantasies floating over our heads all the time. Not worth to make an issue or to share it with people. I swears if a male becomes open and shares all his secret fantasies.. No girl Will date a man ever again. Sex is a very mysterious phenomenon and sexual desires are always weird. In everyone. Just keep your stuff for yourself. I highly recommend don't share such personal stuff on a public forum. 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Someone here

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Eph75 said:

Absolutely not. Openness and vulnerability is key to growth. Still, also self-deception is something that needs to be explored in the self-actualizing journey. It's easy to build a narrow path of exploration and not taking on a more holistic perspective of being-ness and needing-ness.

Looking at it [more] objectively, posting does produce attention, and affirmation will follow, especially in a loving and accepting community, and especially through such acknowledgement that which rubs us right. These rubbings produces serotonin and a temporary high, it simply makes us feel good. Dopamin follows which encourages us come back for more, and posting of new things, the chase for more serotonin. If not careful, the journey can take a turn that becomes centered around such gratification rather than being self-change oriented. It's important to look for such patterns in our behavior and ask ourselves such tough questions as am I deceiving myself by doing this and is this the ego at play trying to fulfill its deficiency needs.

Own self-deceptions are not easy to spot. And indications from others are easily shot down as being projections. Self-deception including but of course not limited to above. In that sense, we can learn to better accept feedback and criticism and allow them to become indicators for self-inquiry.

Completely agree. I'm just trying to be as vulnerable as possible so that I can get some clarity over all the thoughts circling in my head. The fact that I wanted to post this topic a year ago but decided not to already makes it clear that it's not a ploy for attention seeking. 

In fact even 2 months ago I thought about asking this question but still decided against. Finally a few days ago I made up my mind that I need to ask and become open and vulnerable no matter what because keeping this question inside me was not a good thing to do. It was eating me inside. 

I'm thrilled by the response, not too much attack so far, I was actually thinking there would be too much backlash. However not much backlash probably because most people responding are from Western Society so it's a relief that I'm not being shamed too much. 

I'm feeling a bit confident now after asking this sort of question. 

Also the shame or fear/guilt I felt that I was talking about has greatly reduced after reading people's positive responses. 

Some women on the thread attested to my feelings and approved those feelings which again made me feel great knowing that I'm not alone in having such fantasies. The problem is that women are not very vocal about sexual issues, not as much as men so it's very hard to know what sort of reaction is to be anticipated before opening such a discussion. 

But I'm glad people are open minded enough to receive these ideas with acceptance and understanding and less judgement. 

Last but not the least, I'm genuinely not trying to seek attention, although it might appear so, I'm very well aware that people will say such things but it's unavoidable that they'll get such thoughts about me, but I think I should not focus on what people think about me and spend time debunking it, but rather focus on what goal I'm looking to achieve by discussing my thoughts and experiences with people. 

After all this forum is meant for open discussions about problems and issues in life so I'm not being wrong in posting here. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I highly recommend don't share such personal stuff on a public forum. 

Who cares what you think? Maybe keep your judgement to yourself instead of shaming me for opening up about my feelings and thoughts on a forum. 

Don't like don't read. Nobody forces you to participate. 

Everyone discusses their personal stories about their relationships here every minute. 

Is it a big deal just because it's about sex? 

Why make it a gender issue. I've no problem if a man discusses his sexual stories or experiences or feelings here. This is the dating and sex subsection of the forum which is meant for such discussions. 

Maybe you're biased towards me. In that case you can leave me alone. 

 

[electroBeam]

Lol this forum is the best place for her to share this stuff because its the most anonymous place for her to share it and its meant to be a place specifically designed for improvement and getting help.

[Someone here]

@Preety_India

Not biased against you. I'm just offering a friendly advice. Take it or leave it. Ofcourse you know better how to manage your own stuff. It's just I'm offering my own perspective. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't for example open a thread "hey guys I like to masturbate to X Y Z.. Is this normal?". Nah I ain't doing this. At least if I kept my identity anonymous. Then again that's just me. 

Take care! 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Someone here

[Shin]

Why would no girls want to date a man who says exactly what he wants in bed ?

Unless you have some serious hardcore and weird fetishes I think you're good.

It's not like slapping hard a woman boobs/ass, restraining her with ropes, chocking/gagging/stroking her and going deep into her ass isn't something most woman wants.

@Someone here

[Preety_India]

@Someone here  See I'm getting offended by your comments about me. Spare me your shaming fest. 

Can you see how many threads are on this dating section page alone and you exactly found my thread to tell me to shut up. How cool right? 

 

So this is a thread on tantra on which the person is asking if tantra can help him in getting rid of sexual shame. Is he wrong in opening up? Did you ask him? 

 

This person expressing whether he should have sex on the first date or not? Did you advise him to not ask or share personal questions/stories on the forum?

 

This guy sharing his personal story of premature ejaculation. Did you tell him to not stare his personal details on a public forum? 

 

This person asking if sex with hookers is okay? "Did you ask him why he is discussing his fantasies with hookers? 

 

This person asking about sexuality? Why didn't you tell him to keep his sexuality to himself? 

 

This person describing his sexual trauma, his deepest personal story. Why didn't you recommend him that he should not share his story on a public forum? 

 

 

 

This person has a negative view on sex and she is a woman. Is she wrong in opening up about her views on sex now? 

 

This man in this thread discusses his sexual desire. How about telling him to stop that discussion? 

 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India I understand your point, but he's obviously trying to look out for your best interest. He obviously doesn't have malicious intents. You don't have to defend yourself from a friend.

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, Shin said:

It's not like slapping hard a woman boobs/ass, restraining her with ropes, chocking/gagging/stroking her and going deep into her ass isn't something most woman wants

Nah dude you are watching some fucked up porn.  Most women don't like anal and oral sex. It disgusts the absolute shit out of them.  

@Preety_India

Whatever. You are a hard-nosed person and it's impossible to argue with you. I already said no offense intended it's just my advice. You don't buy it cool. Do you. Peace. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Gesundheit @Someone here @Gesundheit

Peace to both of you. You aren't helping me in any way. 

Thanks. 

 

[Blackhawk]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Most women don't like oral sex.

Umm, what?

[Shin]

Just now, Someone here said:

Nah dude you are watching some fucked up porn.  Most women don't like anal and oral sex. It disgusts the absolute shit out of them.  

@Preety_India

Whatever. You are a hard-nosed person and it's impossible to argue with you. I already said no offense intended it's just my advice. You don't buy it cool. Do you. Peace. 

 

Most women aren't basking in their feminine and are boring as hell.

Of course you don't like to get dominated if you fear to open your heart, that's too unpredictable and scary for them.

They do like it though, they are just very confused about it.

[Blackhawk]

@Shin Not all women like being dominated.

Most women don't like anal sex.

Edited November 25, 2020 by Blackhawk

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Umm, what?

What I said.

[Preety_India]

Stop shaming women for their sexuality. 

Women have sexual needs just as men do. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. 

And if you think that a woman should not express her sexual desires and fears then it's not her problem it's your myopic 6th century ideas on how women should or should not be. 

Get over it. 

Start looking at women as humans. 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Blackhawk]

Just now, Someone here said:

What I said.

You're wrong. Most women like or love oral sex.

[electroBeam]

11 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Nah dude you are watching some fucked up porn.  Most women don't like anal and oral sex. It disgusts the absolute shit out of them. 

assuming you don't live in your mum's basement, this may indicate there are cultural differences in preferences between asia and the west (India vs France).

Which I doubt because the women I dated in New Delhi wanted oral.

Edited November 25, 2020 by electroBeam

[Gesundheit]

6 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Umm, what?

Lol exactly! Oral sex/blowjob is a woman's way of showing her man affection by taking the submissive obedient role. Because she wants to please her man. The same thing goes for cunniligus.

Sub-dom sex is most of the times interchangeable. It's about the fun and thrill. No specific role is obligatory.

Anal sex is different because it can be painful and not many women prefer it.