Sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant Males

[F A B]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

That is most definitely NOT the case. 

Honest to God, this is absolutely surreal that you would say this on a public forum.

He didn't mean an actual rape.

I can't find a proper word because, in a sense, you ravish her with love and with her agreement. Her permission and desires are key here. You will never hurt her, though, and deep down she knows she is 100% safe with you.

If she is not into submission then you simply don't do this kind of stuff. In my experience being submissive is quite common among women.

Important note: what you do under the sheets has nothing to do with sexual equality.

Edited November 24, 2020 by F A B

[Emerald]

12 minutes ago, SirVladimir said:

My feminine half wants to unconditionally surrender to daddy present moment and groan and drown as God's Love pounds it for eternity, ever so deeply.

But perhaps I'm taking these metaphors too far. 

That's what my last Ayahuasca experience was like. It was like I had to surrender and the God played itself out relentlessly in my experience... and eternally, knowing and loving everything from all perspectives. Then I came back into my feminine corporeal form and gave birth to a new world. It was a trip. But your metaphor fits like a glove.

[Display_Name]

18 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It actually isn't "normal". But it is normative.

It's a common fetish for women because of the anti-feminine nature of the society we live in. It isn't really safe to be truly feminine here as society is not yet compatible with deep femininity. Femininity is like a plant that must be grown in acidic soil... but society has basic soil. So, most of the feminine exists in society's Shadow.

So, rape fantasies are just a symptom of the repressed femininity within the collective unconscious of society.

Mind you, it is normal to prefer the surrendering role. That's the underlying instinct. And most women would resonate with that. Being in the surrendering and receptive role IS in alignment with the feminine core. That's part of the feminine power.

But it can be difficult to align with feminine receptivity and surrender as it is so easy to conflate with submission and oppression... especially because that's one of the only expressions of feminine surrender that's collectively available to us.

So, if this desire for surrender presents itself as a fetish towards rape and other forms of exploitation, it's an indication that the woman is actually having trouble aligning with her feminine side and surrendering. It is a sign that her feminine and masculine side are in a fight. 

And with the walls up for protection, she feels like she can only surrender when forced to submit... where that which is meant to be relaxed open won't open and therefore must be torn open.

Rape fantasies exist for the purpose of imagining being stripped of agency and getting a small taste of what it feels like to let go... while also being 100% in control of the fantasy. It is surrender in the safety of your own rape fantasy.

It's what comes up when a woman's Animus (the inner man in every woman) is guarding her from being receptive.

So, her Animus is on guard and she must imagine another man (or men) to come in and break down the doorway through the intense boundary violation of the fetish, where she can have a moment where she is forced to let down her guard before the Animus closes everything back up again and pushes the even-further wounded feminine back into the Shadow immediately after the climax.

And it mirrors the feeling that surrendering is inherently unsafe and boundary breeching.

It's a sign that she sees male sexual dominance as inherently denigrating and oppressive and puts her in a space of anger and shame relative to her sexuality and it makes her sexuality feel at odds with her agency. This then usually comes out in the form of misandry and intense levels of self-protection to become the masculine to guard against the masculine.

And there are so many women struggling with this inner dynamic. That's why rape fantasies are common. It is a symptom of Animus possession and feminine repression.

So, it is actually what happens when a woman has a difficult relationship to her feminine side. 

 

Absolutely ?

[Display_Name]

I think it’s worthwhile to make a distinction between dominant and domineering.

Domineering is controlling, insecure, unfreeing.

Real dominance is absolutely consensual, strong, loving, in control (of course no one is actually in control). It’s healthy and strong leadership essentially. And most girls do love being able to completely let go and be ravished (in the bedroom) to fully go into their feminine for once.

@Etherial Cat now you have me curious, what is “transcendental sex” to you?

Edited November 24, 2020 by Display_Name

[Gesundheit]

You guys are forgetting that attraction is delusion. We shouldn't ideally feel attracted towards anyone or anything. Attraction is in fact a sign of lack of self-love. If you were complete, would you desire anything?

[RendHeaven]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Every feminine woman wants to be raped by her man.

@Leo Gura I think there is some deep truth in this, but it comes with a lot of caveats and conditionals that need to be spelled out. For example: time, place, mood, energy, trust; the seeming paradox between "wants" and "raped"; etc.

And you ought to be more clear about what you mean by "rape," because the word "rape" inherently comes with the cultural baggage of being an ugly unwanted act of deprivation whereas I believe you are intending to speak of a beautiful gift that is desired by both parties. This is tricky because I do believe that "rape" is actually the correct word to use, it's just that you need to use it with an asterisk afterwards and some appropriate context.

So on one hand it's in your best interest to rephrase your claim for the sake of clarity and communication but also on the other hand for your public image.

Public image, Leo. Public image.

You sound horrific in this quote

I love your work and agree with your thinking so I see past it, but others won't.

Edited November 24, 2020 by RendHeaven

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

You guys are forgetting that attraction is delusion. We shouldn't ideally feel attracted towards anyone or anything. Attraction is in fact a sign of lack of self-love. If you were complete, would you desire anything?

Food is also a delusion on the absolute level. Do you then stop needing/wanting food because you've discovered that?

It's important to avoid spiritual bypassing. Allow yourself to be human and be where you truly are... not where you think would be more in the image of the spiritual.

It is one thing to have an intellectual awareness that something is an illusion. And it is a totally different thing to really understand the nature of illusion and how to interact with it wisely.

[F A B]

6 minutes ago, Display_Name said:

It’s important here to make a distinction between dominant and domineering.

Real dominance is absolutely consensual, strong, loving. But it is in control (of course no one is actually in control). And most girls do love being able to completely let go and be ravished (in the bedroom) to fully go into their feminine for once.

Exactly. Really crucial point ?

[Display_Name]

10 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

You guys are forgetting that attraction is delusion. We shouldn't ideally feel attracted towards anyone or anything. Attraction is in fact a sign of lack of self-love. If you were complete, would you desire anything?

Attraction is just what’s happening, the delusion is believing it’s happening to us. It does tend to fall away though.

Edited November 24, 2020 by Display_Name

[Guest SirVladimir]

12 minutes ago, Emerald said:

But your metaphor fits like a glove.

Sex is perceived as nothing short of transcendence since my first Ayahuasca trip. I have found that it is it a matter of abandoning one's earthly identity along with earthly concepts such as rape, correctness, et cetera, and instead unifying on an atomic level in a wholesome fashion.

[electroBeam]

Leo's approach in the environment forum tends to be acknowledging that there is unconscious behaviour going on in politics, but always a push to lead others to be more conscious. Show others not to get wrapped up in conspiracy theories, not to vote for an unconscious president. Yes 99% of people in politics are doing things unconsciously, but we can lead and show them the way.

On this subsection though, Leo's approach is, women are unconscious, and lets kindle and egg on that unconscious behaviour by being unconscious ourselves. Women want rape because they handle relationships unconsciously, so lets rape them.

Has it occured to anyone on here yet that if you are a man, and therefore the leader, you can actually lead them towards better or more conscious behaviour?

Must you give into a women's unconscious, totally toxic desire to be raped, instead of showing them what they actually want through leading by example, pushing through their unconscious biases, bringing out the conscious elements in them and through good sex showing them that this is what they actually wanted, and its way better then what they have been given before?

One element of rape(even if Leo meant the word as an exaggeration rather than its literal definition) is overriding a girls wants through dominance and assertion. Its saying, nope fuck what want, as an alpha male i know what you want better then you do and you're gonna obey me in sex. This isnt the best way to do things, even though most sex is like this. If you can show them that a guy listening to their wants, and sex being a collaboration rather than one sided dictating, actually helps them get what they want more, then they will override their own unconscious biases for the better way.

 

[Gesundheit]

7 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Food is also a delusion on the absolute level. Do you then stop needing/wanting food because you've discovered that?

I didn't mean sex. Just attraction. The unconscious emotion.

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

I didn't mean sex. Just attraction. The unconscious emotion.

On the absolute level emotions (just like everything else) are illusions.

But on the relative level, ignoring your emotions is like throwing away your compass for navigating through life. We need our emotions to give us wisdom and direction in the same way we need food to nourish us.

Don't repress your emotions because you "know" they are illusions. It will make you less conscious... not more conscious. Let yourself feel the way you feel and be conscious of it, even if you "know" your feelings are illusory. 

Don't use absolute truths to ignore an invalidate relative truths.

[Gesundheit]

11 minutes ago, Emerald said:

On the absolute level emotions (just like everything else) are illusions.

But on the relative level, ignoring your emotions is like throwing away your compass for navigating through life. We need our emotions to give us wisdom and direction in the same way we need food to nourish us.

Don't repress your emotions because you "know" they are illusions. It will make you less conscious... not more conscious. Let yourself feel the way you feel and be conscious of it, even if you "know" your feelings are illusory. 

Don't use absolute truths to ignore an invalidate relative truths.

Do you feel the need to teach me? I did not say repress or ignore or anything like that, I am all for consciousness and feeling into your emotions and integrating the shadow. I was just reminding everyone that ideally there shouldn't be sexual fantasies, just so that we don't lose our compass here. It's very easy to get into a debate and forget about the basics. Attraction then becomes the way things should be, and then we start arguing which is the correct way of attraction. We forget that that's not nearly as important as the role attraction serves. We forget that it's an individual process that helps the individual navigate their own individual way. We start making generalizations about men and women and how each of them should be behaving and treated. We then find ourselves with many problems that we are needless for, and we fail to understand what happened and how we will work our way out of that mess that we've created.

[Rilles]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Every feminine woman wants to be raped by her man.

I thought you didnt generalize? Time to contemplate some of your beliefs Leo. 

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, Rilles said:

I thought you didnt generalize? Time to contemplate some of your beliefs Leo. 

Come on! Not you too. He said "feminine", and "her man".

[Rilles]

4 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Come on! Not you too. He said "feminine", and "her man".

Every feminine woman is a generalization. Every woman wanting the same from her man is a generalization. 

It was a stupid saying, and very toxic and dangerous idea to spread in our society. I think Leo picked up some non-sense from pickup and dating books that he hasnt worked through. I remember him having a book on the booklist (I think he removed it now) Where in the review he said "Did you know women have rape fantasies?! This book will shock you!!" Or something like that.

Edited November 24, 2020 by Rilles

[Gesundheit]

@Rilles Maybe you should educate yourself about what the word feminine means in this context. In fact, the exact wording that Leo used is the same as saying 1+1=2 it just makes perfect logical sense.

Edited November 24, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Guest SirVladimir]

@Etherial Cat It's possible. But unless you're both into mystical experiences, you're gonna be having a hard time realizing 'it' without external stimuli. I suggest taking psychedelics prior to having sex. Or doing shamanic breathing. 

[Guest SirVladimir]

@Etherial Cat As real as you let it sway you.