I Caught A Glimpse

[Travis]

First thing I'll say is that @Wormon Blatburm I felt like shitting my pants in fear, and I finally know what you've been talking about this whole time. Haha you saw where I was in this whole process and said "what are you waiting for? Jump in!" Haha you knew what was holding me back...it's obvious...the fear of not existing. You knew I knew that, even if I wasn't willing to acknowledge it. That's the only thing that holds one back from freedom, ultimately. This whole time I thought I had an idea of what it was, this truth of no self, and I was wrong.  Haha it's funny thinking of the conversation about you and electro "tricking me into it" hahaha. It's funny now.

But there is this weird sense of not having to fear death anymore. I cut it off before I could stare straight into what was going on and allow myself to feel the full emotions. Fear stopped me. I would love to just throw up right now. Everything is turned on it's head with no self.

The glimpse that I caught was total and absolute. Every single thing is a lie. I thought I was catching bits and pieces of enlightenment, but nope. Duality can't exist here with this glimpse. Wow. I really don't have much else to say. And yes I would still like to throw up haha.

I know exactly what is stopping me from going all the way. Plain and simple...the fear of not existing. That's it. That's what needs to be faced. I know how it needs to be done, and the next thing to do is face the shit out of it and go right through the fear. 

Jesus Christ that was intense. Merging was utterly wild and it was only for a brief time. The emotions that arose were...intense and scary. Like a special kind of scary. 

There is a strange sense of peace trying to bubble up, like the kind that you get to keep forever. 

Onward!!!!! Hahahaha  

[Tron]

I'm happy for you man!