I Have A Phobia Of Phone Calls

[Huz]

I basically have a phobia for speaking on the phone. When people call me I have anxiety reaction/attack, and I basically choose not to answer. I don't call other people also. It is quite crippling.

Can anyone offer some advice for this. Would deep inner work solve the issues here? 

[Capethaz]

There is no shortcut. You just have to do it and the fear will dissipate,

[Zane]

16 hours ago, Huz said:

I basically have a phobia for speaking on the phone. When people call me I have anxiety reaction/attack, and I basically choose not to answer. I don't call other people also. It is quite crippling.

Can anyone offer some advice for this. Would deep inner work solve the issues here? 

Huz, I know that fear well! I find alternatives to calling people on the phone and whenever I request phone numbers, I always ask "please text me and don't call me!" and I usually request contacting me through email or through Skype. Texting and email eliminates the awkwardness from the phone call while Skype makes the conversation flow much more naturally because you can see the person and it feels way less awkward. 

[Orange]

Just tell them you'll call later ...and then never call

[Allinthemind]

Calling it a phobia helps people to relate to the severity of your response. I'd put it more into the category of (informal) social (performance) anxiety: http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/performance-anxiety/

Do have anxiety talking to everyone on the phone? What about with video calls? Do you suffer with social anxiety generally?

There are a number of ways to approach this. What is your core fear in this situation? Not being able to see the other person's responses? No being able to speak when you are panicking? Do you need to know who you are speaking to? Or how to control your panic?

Away from the phone call situation you may be able to gradually build confidence dealing with your anxiety in stages, then building into your program a phone call conversation (desensitisation).

Have you tried having a face-to-face conversation with someone whilst simultaneously having a phone conversation with them? You obviously don't need to be connected by phone, but this practise may help you to dissociate your anxiety response.

 

[Huz]

1 hour ago, Allinthemind said:

Calling it a phobia helps people to relate to the severity of your response. I'd put it more into the category of (informal) social (performance) anxiety: http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/performance-anxiety/

Do have anxiety talking to everyone on the phone? What about with video calls? Do you suffer with social anxiety generally?

There are a number of ways to approach this. What is your core fear in this situation? Not being able to see the other person's responses? No being able to speak when you are panicking? Do you need to know who you are speaking to? Or how to control your panic?

Away from the phone call situation you may be able to gradually build confidence dealing with your anxiety in stages, then building into your program a phone call conversation (desensitisation).

Have you tried having a face-to-face conversation with someone whilst simultaneously having a phone conversation with them? You obviously don't need to be connected by phone, but this practise may help you to dissociate your anxiety response.

 

No, not everyone. But some extending family members, and those i don't really know. Friends who I wanted to impress and people who I don't really know. I don't really video call anyone other then my family, but i think i would get anxious. I used to suffer from it badly but it is improving.

I am believe it is due to my strong perfectionism. I want the call to express myself fully. I worry about not having the perfect call which doesn't make me seem fun etc. I worry about silences and me not being at my funniest. I act like this sometimes in real life but it is know way near like my expectations that i put on myself on the phone.

[SoulSugar64]

I'm familiar with this, I do also.  I don't call it a phobia I call it an "aversion" to answering the phone or engaging in the conversations.  You are disinclined to answer those calls for a reason and you might want to explore those reasons.  A couple of my reasons were- 1. It is so hard for me to get focused that I didn't want to be distracted and it took me a while to not feel guilt and realize it was ok to have boundaries.  2. I don't feel like making small talk or having the uncomfortable conversation with someone who I don't have that much in common with.  3. I felt like it was frivolous.  4.  Since I don't call them, I know most of the time when they call its with bad news or petty news or gossip - something I am not interested in or the want me to do something and I am going to have a hard time saying no.  4. I was going to be made to feel guilty for not keeping in touch.  5.  I am not inclined to talk to anyone at the moment.   6.  I was in my zone (my mind)and didn't want to be impeded upon.  6.  ...and the list goes on....I might be having anxiety that day and just don't want to engage with other people. 

It seems that they way you feel is all about you and you can either accept it and get comfortable with it, or let it bother you.  I finally just started telling people that by now they know how I am, and I am that way across the board- I want friends and people in my life who allow me to be me.  Leave a message, or send a text, or note me on Facebook - when I am in a place where I can engage I will.   For me its more about having my space and time and thoughts to myself, but that is how artist function.   I have learned to feel no quilt about it, and now I expect people to meet with were I am and how and am don't try to be who others want me to be.   I accept this about me, its not something I want to change.  Is this something  you really want to change?  It sound like you value your time, and space and boundaries but feel like you should be like everyone else who is walking around distracted  almost 24-7 with mindless conversations, and just engaging others in order to not focus on themselves.  They are outward focused and you are inward focused that is just the way it is, and I bet you have always been that way.

[Huz]

6 hours ago, SoulSugar64 said:

I'm familiar with this, I do also.  I don't call it a phobia I call it an "aversion" to answering the phone or engaging in the conversations.  You are disinclined to answer those calls for a reason and you might want to explore those reasons.  A couple of my reasons were- 1. It is so hard for me to get focused that I didn't want to be distracted and it took me a while to not feel guilt and realize it was ok to have boundaries.  2. I don't feel like making small talk or having the uncomfortable conversation with someone who I don't have that much in common with.  3. I felt like it was frivolous.  4.  Since I don't call them, I know most of the time when they call its with bad news or petty news or gossip - something I am not interested in or the want me to do something and I am going to have a hard time saying no.  4. I was going to be made to feel guilty for not keeping in touch.  5.  I am not inclined to talk to anyone at the moment.   6.  I was in my zone (my mind)and didn't want to be impeded upon.  6.  ...and the list goes on....I might be having anxiety that day and just don't want to engage with other people. 

It seems that they way you feel is all about you and you can either accept it and get comfortable with it, or let it bother you.  I finally just started telling people that by now they know how I am, and I am that way across the board- I want friends and people in my life who allow me to be me.  Leave a message, or send a text, or note me on Facebook - when I am in a place where I can engage I will.   For me its more about having my space and time and thoughts to myself, but that is how artist function.   I have learned to feel no quilt about it, and now I expect people to meet with were I am and how and am don't try to be who others want me to be.   I accept this about me, its not something I want to change.  Is this something  you really want to change?  It sound like you value your time, and space and boundaries but feel like you should be like everyone else who is walking around distracted  almost 24-7 with mindless conversations, and just engaging others in order to not focus on themselves.  They are outward focused and you are inward focused that is just the way it is, and I bet you have always been that way.

Thanks a lot! The list of your reasons are very similar to mine also. I can relate to 1,2,3,4,5,6 oh wait thats all of them hehe. I guess it starts of with acceptance, and the if the matter improves they thats nice but to be ok when it doesnt. Yeah I am definatly an inward person. Been tough in a society who values external goals and extroversion. I guess i will let this go because it is getting in the way of my meditation and enlightenment work