How do you be Gentle with Yourself

[soos_mite_ah]

Title really says it all. This especially goes for being emotionally gentle with yourself during self actualization, ego backlashes, and when you encounter obstacles. 

[Osaid]

I like this video because it makes you realize you're doing all this to yourself out of love. It sort of removes the idea that everything is being "forced" onto you. Might help you.

 

[The0Self]

Complement yourself. Tell yourself "I love you." Or "you're doing a great job." "It's OK to feel this way." etc. For starters. The funny thing about the most important thing in the world (self love) is that it can actually be literal.

[aurum]

@soos_mite_ah

Being gentle or having compassion for yourself comes from the same place that lets you have compassion for others. You have to understand yourself.

Let's use the example that you keep lying in your relationships.

If you don't understand why you keep repeating that pattern, it's very easy to criticize yourself and go into self-attack.

This is what the ego-mind does. It sets you up for failure and then kicks you when you're down.

But if you bring awareness and understanding to that pattern, then self-attack becomes impossible.

That might mean realizing that the lying is subconsciously protecting you and getting you love. That it was a habit you picked up as a child when you didn't know any better and were just surviving.

Now compassion is possible.

So I wouldn't seek so much to be gentle with yourself as I would to understand yourself. One will follow the other.

[The0Self]

On the level that you're looking for:

Everything that happens is dependent on conditions. Conditions beyond your control. Even if there is apparent control, that control is something that happens, right? And everything that happens is dependent upon conditions. Conditions beyond your control. This contemplation can stop judgement. The next step is to fall in love. Fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with what is. Complement yourself on how miraculous it is that what you're doing is exactly what you're doing -- what is.

[Preety_India]

You just have to let it happen to you. Don't hold back. Suffer through it. 

Most importantly you need to stop judging yourself from every angle. 

The ego cannot handle the truth. Self deception is its shield. You expose your ego to the truth in the most honest and open manner and let the ego suffer knowing in your mind that everything is for your good. 

Eventually the ego will stop defending itself and you'll experience peace and release and liberation. 

The suffering won't last and you will love yourself for being honest more than ever. 

 

Edited November 19, 2020 by Preety_India

[blankisomeone]

Treat yourself like you'd treat a puppy.

Look at these creatures...

[Barbara]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

 

Being gentle or having compassion for yourself comes from the same place that lets you have compassion for others. You have to understand yourself.

Let's use the example that you keep lying in your relationships.

If you don't understand why you keep repeating that pattern, it's very easy to criticize yourself and go into self-attack.

This is what the ego-mind does. It sets you up for failure and then kicks you when you're down.

But if you bring awareness and understanding to that pattern, then self-attack becomes impossible.

That might mean realizing that the lying is subconsciously protecting you and getting you love. That it was a habit you picked up as a child when you didn't know any better and were just surviving.

Now compassion is possible.

So I wouldn't seek so much to be gentle with yourself as I would to understand yourself. One will follow the other.

↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑
This is sooo true. Thanks aurum 

[Gesundheit]

By stopping all self-help and self-actualization work. When you feel exhausted; stop, rest, breathe, sleep, have a snack, etc... Just don't keep pushing.

[caspex]

Leo has a video on Self-Love

[Leo Gura]

There are many factors possible here:

• The tone of voice you talk to yourself with
• How much you judge yourself and criticize yourself
• How hard you push yourself to achieve goals
• How strict you are with yourself
• How little rest you allow yourself to take
• How you don't allow yourself to have fun or enjoy life
• etc.

[Shunyata]

Watch these. Especially the last one

 

[saif2]

be amazing by taking it easy! cheers!

[Opo]

I like to imagine myself as a baby and then take mother's perspective to look at myself. 

[Preety_India]

It's not that easy and I myself struggle a lot with being gentle with myself. 

Sometimes I think if I felt intensely loved, I wouldn't have a problem with this. It possibly comes from a deep sense of deprivation or not receiving enough love in life which is an absolute necessity. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole I like the cat/kitten in your pic. Is that yours.