Should I break up?

[Marianitozz]

I am 23 years old I have a new girlfriend for about 1 mouth 

She is pretty, i like her, but she has a tendency to be needy and complain that I don t give her enough attention and it is correct, I told her that we will talk more rarely until I change my job that I don't like anymore, and now I can see that she is not into personal development and all her free time squander on entertainment and that's a turn off for me. On the one side I want to stay with her because I like her on the other side I want to focus on my work.

So I can be with her if our interests are different? And she keep interfere with my work?

Edited November 18, 2020 by Marianitozz

[Recursoinominado]

Break up.

[Marianitozz]

I tought about it and I also agree that will not work out on long term

[Recursoinominado]

12 minutes ago, Marianitozz said:

I tought about it and I also agree that will not work out on long term

Of course, apply a better filter next time instead of dating the first woman that smiles at you.

[MrBON]

@Recursoinominado You are right but it is not that easy. It would be great advice for some people but lets say he does not get girls smiling at him. Maybe girls are not really interested in him so the one girl that does smile is automatically the most special girl because she was the only one that actually was interested in him. I know it sounds sad af but there are a lot of people with absolutely 0 options and rejected by girls and if they get 1 girl showing interested she automatically becomes special af. Personally i almost never get girls smiling at me or showing interest so yeah, it depends on the person. 

 

[Marianitozz]

@MrBON yes It sounds sad and It might be true for some extent, but when I m in a relationship i quickly lose interest for It with thought that this relationship drains me of energy and time that I could spend in more productive things.. and when i'm out I crave it this happened to me often, i might be attracted to wrong girls I think

Edited November 18, 2020 by Marianitozz

[Recursoinominado]

3 hours ago, MrBON said:

@Recursoinominado You are right but it is not that easy. It would be great advice for some people but lets say he does not get girls smiling at him. Maybe girls are not really interested in him so the one girl that does smile is automatically the most special girl because she was the only one that actually was interested in him. I know it sounds sad af but there are a lot of people with absolutely 0 options and rejected by girls and if they get 1 girl showing interested she automatically becomes special af. Personally i almost never get girls smiling at me or showing interest so yeah, it depends on the person. 

 

Buddy, i was once an incel, i know all of that.

But, again, use a better selection, if you can only find one girl to select from, work on this.

If you can't stand being alone and HAVE to be with someone, no matter which kind of woman because you are lonely as fuck, work on this.

[Preety_India]

I think you need to break up 

[Origins]

@Marianitozz For me the most important quality a relationship needs to have between two or more (haha polyamory <-- but in most cases not really) people is a growth mindset.

Sounds like something Dr. Phil would say but its totally true, either you both grow together or you grow apart. So you both need to be open and honest about what each other want out of the relationship and surrender yourself to having faith in the ability you both have to grow together and develop your relationship overtime.

Life is a project not a having, even if we have a mansion eventually its going to require maintenance, so you can have all the ideal things going for you both but eventually you're going to hit a roadblock, a difficulty of some sort, and if you're both not invested in sharing a growth mindset its simply going to turn what seemed like something perfect into something that's turned quite dismal overnight.

So if it were me I'd be direct and upfront with myself first and foremost what my goals were, followed by thinking about her goals and how we're going to fulfil those together in the short to long term future. I'd then follow this up with not a text message, not a phone conversation, not a casual remark, not a passive aggressive behaviour but an actual get together where we chose to spend quality time together while talking about how we're going to coordinate with each others lives in the best way that serves one another. This shows her that you've gone out of your way to take not just what you want seriously but also what she wants seriously and that you're seeking some closure about how you can progress forward in a mature way together, not with you just leading the ship or you submitting to her needs but creating a win/win scenario where you can establish stability with one another for the future. 

All the best , relationships are so much more difficult when we don't have those basic ingredients in the end take some introspective time with yourself about what you personally believe a relationship is about and how this relationship you're having serves the both of you and in the end follow your intuition and overall what you believe to be best.