I don't want a romantic man anymore

[mandyjw]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

 

I would be too happy and giddy and excited to be with him and that would be like a jackpot for me 

Never underestimate the power of hedonic adaptation. 

[Preety_India]

@mandyjw what is hedonic adaptation? 

 

[mandyjw]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@mandyjw what is hedonic adaptation? 

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-success/201208/how-keep-happiness-fading

It's the tendency of our minds to return to a set point of happiness, even after something really awful or wonderful happens. Things, people and events don't make us happy or sad, we are susceptible to the contrast. So for example, I win the lottery. I buy my dream car. Someone scratches my dream car. Instead of being thrilled that I won the lottery, I'm now mad my car is scratched. That's how ridiculous our minds are. That's the power of meditation, to go beyond noticing the contrast of things and mistaking our true being for our shallow, fragile states of mind. 

Edited November 18, 2020 by mandyjw

[Preety_India]

@mandyjw that sounds very interesting. Never heard of that term before. 

 

[mandyjw]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@mandyjw that sounds very interesting. Never heard of that term before. 

 

It's really fascinating, and really empowering because once you understand it, you can hack it and create the life of your dreams. Not just by how it looks on the outside but how it feels. Or rather, you already have the life of your dreams! 

[MrBON]

@Leo Gura LOL dude half my guy friends are like that. Not all guys are PUA dicks that cant treat girls right. How hard is it to find a loyal, honest, caring, not needy, mature, faithful and respectful. Millions of them out there. Only one that is difficult to fill is the manipulation one since we all do it to some extent, mostly unconsciously. Issue is that these kind of men are not good at emotional stimulation but you can have a good relationship with them. Hell even i fall into most of those "criteria". 

[Axiomatic]

I can tell by how @Preety_India  post that she's a piece of work lmao

Edited November 18, 2020 by Axiomatic

[Preety_India]

45 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

I can tell by how @Preety_India  post that she's a piece of work lmao

And so are you. 

 

Edited November 18, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, MrBON said:

How hard is it to find a loyal, honest, caring, not needy, mature, faithful and respectful.

Yea I also think that this shouldn't be hard. 

I'm shocked that most people on this thread are likening these qualities to a God. They use the word God-like. It baffles me beyond belief. 

It is simply the definition of a decent guy. How does it mean looking for God? 

My dad could easily fill those requirements with my mom. Any other man in my family would do as well. 

I am surprised to see that a lot of people here think that if a man mistreats a woman, then he is just being a man and it's considered normal? 

 

[Axiomatic]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Yea I also think that this shouldn't be hard. 

I'm shocked that most people on this thread are likening these qualities to a God. They use the word God-like. It baffles me beyond belief. 

It is simply the definition of a decent guy. How does it mean looking for God? 

My dad could easily fill those requirements with my mom. Any other man in my family would do as well. 

I am surprised to see that a lot of people here think that if a man mistreats a woman, then he is just being a man and it's considered normal? 

 

All of your post are so critical towards men. Stop looking at it like that. 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

All of your post are so critical towards men. Stop looking at it like that. 

Stop looking at me the way you're looking at me. 

 

[Axiomatic]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Stop looking at me the way you're looking at me. 

 

Aight, well I can see this is going to go nowhere. Good luck with your journey. You're going to need it.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

Aight, well I can see this is going to go nowhere. Good luck with your journey. You're going to need it.

You too. Thanks. 

[somegirl]

@flume You're very wise Flume, I've read couple of your comments you post and I agree on everything!

I would only wonder, where do people meet their girlfriends/boyfriends usually? Like, beside mutual friends and, even worse, bars and clubs? It seems to me that it's totally random. Like, it seems like people meet each other on streets or something. I even see some people who rarely go out with their friends always finding a boyfriend/girlfriend to be with. 

[Preety_India]

4 hours ago, flume said:

Focus on anything that ups your value in your eyes and whatever is making you love and trust yourself more. Take some time off dating and learn to really trust your feminine feelings again, they’re usually on point

Yep. This was gold. 

[MrBON]

@Preety_India I might be wrong but i feel like Leo has a bias regarding how guys treat girls. I feel like a lot of his friends in adult life have been PUA players and he feels like most guys treat girls badly and finding a kind caring person is quite rare. Kind caring person that is NOT a people pleaser and a Wimp i mean. So a confident independent caring kind person (does not have to be assertive or dominant or edgy or any of that shit)

Edited November 19, 2020 by MrBON

[Preety_India]

@MrBON that does sound familiar to the word shadow. 

 

[MrBON]

@Preety_India Careful with labeling. The mechanics of attraction are shallow, selfish and survival oriented. It has nothing to do with kindness, truth or honesty. You being attracted to a funny guy is shallow too. Me being attracted to a girl with nice curves is also shallow. We are all shallow

[Preety_India]

@MrBON no no no. I didn't say shallow I said shadow. 

[Preety_India]

23 minutes ago, MrBON said:

So a confident independent caring kind person (does not have to be assertive or dominant or edgy or any of that shit)

This is what I meant to say on this forum all along and nobody really understood what I was saying because they just don't think it even exists. 

They take confident as to mean something ruthless. A big blindspot.