I am done with trying to meet women through social media

[Kiko]

Guys i am really dissapointed,

Every time when i try to set a date with a women which i dont know through social media it never works.

First of all i consider myself as average looking in the face and tall and muscular body, i dont have very good profile though and I know that.

The last straw happened when I texted with one girl back and forth for couple of days and when I asked her out, she said sorry but we barely know each other, she was so super kind that I felt that rejection didn't even happened.

So there are couple of reasons that this happens everytime:

1. They see me as ugly

2. My text game is week and I don't build enough rapport (which I don't think its the case)

 

So I know that online games definetly works for other dudes, so the problem is in me, for me it doesn't fucking work I wont even try anymore, because I am so frustrated with same scenario over and over again. I forgot the mention that I am not targeting super attractive girls, just normal girls, some of them are below my attractiveness for sure.

 

I am 24 y.o What do you think guys?

 

 

 

[Rilles]

Keep going. 

 

Edited November 17, 2020 by Rilles

[evgn]

2 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Keep going. 

 

 

Edited November 17, 2020 by evgn
typo

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, evgn said:

Man what is the reason for doing something that dont work, i am just spinning my wheels and it feels so disempowering..

How many have you texted. Properly. Be honest.  

[Kiko]

2 minutes ago, Rilles said:

How many have you texted. Properly. Be honest.  

 I don't kwon man I feel like a fucking loser..

[Rilles]

2 minutes ago, Kiko said:

 I don't kwon man I feel like a fucking loser..

Youre not. Youre trying. That makes you not a loser. 

[Kiko]

Just now, Rilles said:

Youre not. Youre trying. That makes you not a loser. 

Thank you man, its really encouraging to hear that...

[Kiko]

Further comments and advice will be higly appreciated.

[ertopolice]

@Kiko I DEFINATELY FEEL WHAT YOU SAY!

Applies for me as a female. 

I am into fitness and have a nice body which until recently i did not realized. Quite over average look with is undeniable.

The thing is a have not socialized for MANY YEARS. I got an Intagram account with the aim of meeting ppl with similar hobbies, interests that i barely meet on a daily basis in my town. Also, I aimed it at dating if that was the case with any of the persons. Open way to either socialize/making friends and dates. FAIL.

I acknowledge i have not posted almost any pics BECAUSE I NEVER GO OUT PARTYING or take selfies at gym or go on a holiday so frequently. Also, I stay most of my free time at home/gym so there's no way of showing off a bit of ur life...so no pics of it either. Perhaps ppl think "creepy" of my profile...honestly i do not know

 

SO..

My input is that u're situation it is not so uncommon.

Seems  you must SHOW OFF your life/physique/ material stuff to EVEN texting.

I dated a guy who wanted to see me in person.Below average guy, sorry. Not so intellectual, no career, no physique..but seemed a good guy. Never heard of him again. Come on..

[Kiko]

10 minutes ago, ertopolice said:

@Kiko I DEFINATELY FEEL WHAT YOU SAY!

Applies for me as a female. 

I am into fitness and have a nice body which until recently i did not realized. Quite over average look with is undeniable.

The thing is a have not socialized for MANY YEARS. I got an Intagram account with the aim of meeting ppl with similar hobbies, interests that i barely meet on a daily basis in my town. Also, I aimed it at dating if that was the case with any of the persons. Open way to either socialize/making friends and dates. FAIL.

I acknowledge i have not posted almost any pics BECAUSE I NEVER GO OUT PARTYING or take selfies at gym or go on a holiday so frequently. Also, I stay most of my free time at home/gym so there's no way of showing off a bit of ur life...so no pics of it either. Perhaps ppl think "creepy" of my profile...honestly i do not know

 

SO..

My input is that u're situation it is not so uncommon.

Seems  you must SHOW OFF your life/physique/ material stuff to EVEN texting.

I dated a guy who wanted to see me in person.Below average guy, sorry. Not so intellectual, no career, no physique..but seemed a good guy. Never heard of him again. Come on..

Thank you for your comment, nice to hear prespective from a female.

[ertopolice]

@Kiko You need to "sell" something

lets say

[RendHeaven]

1 hour ago, ertopolice said:

I am into fitness and have a nice body which until recently i did not realized. Quite over average look with is undeniable.

I acknowledge i have not posted almost any pics BECAUSE I NEVER GO OUT PARTYING or take selfies at gym or go on a holiday so frequently. Also, I stay most of my free time at home/gym so there's no way of showing off a bit of ur life...so no pics of it either.

Why hello there dream girl ?? 

[hoodrow trillson]

Realize that you're getting upset about something that's on a tiny computer, in your pocket, that people use it like essentially an interactive video game to feel good about themselves and maybe have sex IRL if both people find each other hot.

In real life, it's much much different because it's all in motion, in 3D and you can pick up emotions and body language cues automatically by the build in scanner we all have as animals on this planet.  A screen can't do that.

Basically, get off that bullshit designed to make money with ads.  Wait until COVID-19 is over and everyone is dying for face to face contact with one another.

[Leo Gura]

Sounds like your technique is very noob.

Having the best profile pics is EVERYTHING in online dating. You must hire a professional photographer to take your pics, not some selfie bullshit. Pay a pro $500. Get really good casual pics of yourself. And you need some pics of you being social, not just a loner.

And yes, you text game sounds like it sucks too. Takes lots of practice to get it just right.

Key practicing. These things require lots of failure before success.

[Leo Gura]

@Husseinisdoingfine Of course, which is why it looks so fucking good.

Never post phone pics for online dating. You might as well stick a fork in your eye.

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Kiko said:

1. They see me as ugly

2. My text game is week and I don't build enough rapport (which I don't think its the case)

Help me understand.

You acknowledged that your profile is weak. So why are you blaming your looks or text game?

I mean it might helped if you worked on those things, but for social media your profile is numero uno. Like you cannot succeed if your profile sucks.

Likewise, if your profile kills on social, you won't have to do much at all.

I've had girls I meet up with who are confused why I'm doing online dating at all once they see me on social. And my social is not even that good, I honestly could be doing much better. So a little bit of effort can go a long way here.

[Roy]

One of the benefits of online/social media dating is that it's such a low investment of energy and resources that inevitably you WILL get better at texting, it's just a matter of practice. You don't need to close on a date on every single interaction you have, you're just going to leave yourself disappointed and feeling rejected. You need to have an abundance mindset here, it's critical. Don't be too selective, you need to be willing to talk with lots of girls because you won't really have any sense of who they are as if you approached in person and you can tell right away if you are into them or not.

Personally I'm chatting up like 8 women at the moment, and have secured dates with 4 of them. Sometimes plans fall through or stuff comes up so don't get too worried or take it personally, just have other options available. Here are some tips;

- You don't want to be texting them non-stop, that communicates you're too available and desperate (even if you aren't, people make harsh assumptions)

- Only shoot a message here there, maybe once a day. Or every other day.

- Pepper constant questions in so you keep the conversation going and have things to branch off of. You want to answer things but don't explain with walls of texts. You want to leave an air of mystery so they are curious about you.

- DO NOT text forever or weeks at a time before going on a date. You should be asking and securing a date within 5-15 messages AT MOST! You need to communicate you're serious about going on a date and have options and are busy enough that you don't fuck around wasting time.

- If you're texting too much before going on a date you'll build an emotional connection and expectations in your head, then if they say no you get all whiny and discouraged like you are here. It's a very fast paced dating world, you need to treat it as such and stop caring so much. Your life was fine before you started talking to them and it will be fine after.

As for profile. Yes you need to invest in making it the best you can, would you swipe right on your profile? Make yourself stick out, get some good photos. If you have none, fucking make some! $500 is a little nuts like Leo is suggesting. That's a tad expensive for something like this. Maybe just find some media savy friend to help you. Go out and take pictures with your friends! Showcase yourself doing your hobbies! Remember you are placing yourself on the social marketplace here, you need to sell yourself. If you half ass it and don't get results, don't wonder why.

 

[The0Self]

God damn I guess I’m lucky to be so good looking (not serious). I am a student who works at a fucking department store and I have had sex with extremely hot women (as hot as pornstars) literally hundreds of times from just being personable and friendly. Started happening after awakening, like magic. I used to consider my biggest problem: I can’t get laid. Once nothing mattered... holy fuck.

[The0Self]

Times I’ve gotten laid from online stuff: a few.

Times I’ve gotten laid from just talking to women in person in random situations: well over 100.

Should I diversity?

[Leo Gura]

17 minutes ago, The0Self said:

from just talking to women in person in random situations: well over 100.

Damn dude, 100 randos? You should raise your standards.