Unworthy of love or friendship

[Origins]

@Chimera This is really, really great. It sounds like you're tapping into your intuition more. Keep honing that. For me I've always found its a balance of intuition, developing my intellectual understanding of people, learning to emotionally resonate with the person and then just learning to let it all go and fall as it may while learning from that process. In relationships, which is inclusive of ourselves, it always starts with a boundary and ends in some unknown direction, most people just squander in the latter though without being decisive on the former. The latter can blur the former if it feels right but having a boundary by say just establishing what we want out of life, how the people around us can add to that and us add to their desires is truly fundamental to progressing forward. Progress forward into unknown territories is done from a place of trust and personal value judgements about where we want to direct things I've found.

Best.

[arlin]

If yuour self-esteem issues run deep (example childhood traume,abuse), you can't fix them by your own.

Don't listen to who says you you can simply do an exercise or read a book.

If it runs deep, you have to contact the parts of you that you feel ashamed about, fearfull about and open your heart to people who really want to listen. This involves going to a therapist first and then finding people who want to come towards you, instead of you going towards people.

This will train your nervous system to associate being vulnerable with social rewards, closeness,safety and subconsciously as strength.

You can see here how self-esteem is developed. Im talking about real emotional self esteem.

(Normally this happends in childhood)

(obviously resistance towards being dependent on others will come up, but don't forget we are a social species, and it's normal to feel insecure when critizised, as it is to feel good about yourself when praised.)

Edited November 21, 2020 by arlin