Are YOU Leo's new girlfriend? (serious)

[Shin]

12 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I don't know. I'm not interested in any reaction. I'm just stating what going 100% for survival would cost me.

Basically my integrity and giving up on my ethics. Quite awful.

I'm pretty sure that if you and Leo sat and have a real conversation, you'd both agree on what relationships are.

So I got an idea.

You send him a pm and you go on a date.

?

Edited November 18, 2020 by Shin

[mandyjw]

31 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

But besides if your looks do change earlier on, from bad habits like eating unhealthily, its just as painful for the guy to stay with you as it is for you to contemplate him leaving you. Just think about it, if you had 0 attraction to someone, how would it make you feel to be forced to be with them purely because society judges, humiliates you into thinking you're evil if you leave. Its a prison. Women arent objectively more genuine then men on this. They are just as survivalish/conditional, its just you cant see it because you're a woman. I could give you 100 ways all women are just as superficial to men, but because you're a woman, you just cant consider that possibility(as shown in this thread).

My husband is overweight, always has been, I'm in pretty good shape and always have been, and when I get embarrassed about his weight it's always because I'm thinking about what other people think of me. It's always about me. I think that's what gets overlooked. I hate getting comments about how he got a "pretty girl" or I'm out of his league, cause when we got together I had buck teeth and no one knows the circumstances of our relationship or preceding friendship. It sucks to have someone see you as a couple and judge you on superficial appearances, but again, that's always just my own thoughts and insecurities. 

I think that's what we miss. It always goes back to our own insecurities. 

Edited November 18, 2020 by mandyjw

[iceprincess]

wait I'm so lost, lol what did Leo post???

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, iceprincess said:

wait I'm so lost, lol what did Leo post???

You missed big time.

Everything is fleeting, can't experience everything at the same time.

Maybe in another life !

MOFO intensifies ?

[electroBeam]

15 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

My husband is overweight, always has been, I'm in pretty good shape and always have been, and when I get embarrassed about his weight it's always because I'm thinking about what other people think of me. It's always about me. I think that's what gets overlooked. I hate getting comments about how he got a "pretty girl" or I'm out of his league, cause when we got together I had buck teeth and no one knows the circumstances of our relationship or preceding friendship. It sucks to have someone see you as a couple and judge you on superficial appearances, but again, that's always just my own thoughts and insecurities. 

I think that's what we miss. It always goes back to our own insecurities. 

Yeah, i hope you dont get offended by this, but i feel like if you were a man for a few weeks, you'd see the missing picture.

From my POV its sort of like you're guessing what physical attraction is for a male without feeling it in your bones. Which is fine because thats all females have, and i dont get what its like to be a female.

Physical attraction isnt actually shallow for a male. Its on par with when you see a beautiful statue made by an Italian artist. Its a godly sort of beauty in its developed form. Thats why its so important. I dont think women see men like this at all because they arent physically attuned. So that overweight example, it doesnt really apply because looks aren't important for women.

Like for me personally, if you told me that you dont like dating homeless men, I'd be like why? Thats silly, dont get it, because if i had to pick up a beautiful homeless women from the slums of Africa, I'd definitely do it, because what job she has means nothing to me. The fact that she looks like an artform made by some Picasso, and she's got a feminine vibe, is all that matter purely on the attractive front(you can develop frienship stuff like emotional connection and love to enhance it, but purely attractive wise, that's all thats needed) But just purely guessing, I think thats different for women like how looks are different for men. Something about security and attraction with a homeless guy? Idk because im not a woman.

If a woman has no career drive, i don't givr a fuck like how women dont really care about looks in a man.

And superficialities of society are not on par with mens views of looks with women. Like society can be highly superficial about a lot of stuff physically, and as a woman you may be tempted to use those superficialities to understand why looks are so important to them and conflate the 2, but you cant because they are wildly different.

Edited November 18, 2020 by electroBeam

[Raze]

6 minutes ago, iceprincess said:

wait I'm so lost, lol what did Leo post???

it was an application for going on a date with him

[Axiomatic]

13 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

Yeah, i hope you dont get offended by this, but i feel like if you were a man for a few weeks, you'd see the missing picture.

From my POV its sort of like you're guessing what physical attraction is for a male without feeling it in your bones. Which is fine because thats all females have, and i dont get what its like to be a female.

Physical attraction isnt actually shallow for a male. Its on par with when you see a beautiful statue made by an Italian artist. Its a godly sort of beauty in its developed form. Thats why its so important. I dont think women see men like this at all because they arent physically attuned. So that overweight example, it doesnt really apply because looks aren't important for women.

Like for me personally, if you told me that you dont like dating homeless men, I'd be like why? Thats silly, dont get it, because if i had to pick up a beautiful homeless women from the slums of Africa, I'd definitely do it, because what job she has means nothing to me. The fact that she looks like an artform made by some Picasso, and she's got a feminine vibe, is all that matter purely on the attractive front(you can develop frienship stuff like emotional connection and love to enhance it, but purely attractive wise, that's all thats needed) But just purely guessing, I think thats different for women like how looks are different for men. Something about security and attraction with a homeless guy? Idk because im not a woman.

If a woman has no career drive, i don't givr a fuck like how women dont really care about looks in a man.

And superficialities of society are not on par with mens views of looks with women. Like society can be highly superficial about a lot of stuff physically, and as a woman you may be tempted to use those superficialities to understand why looks are so important to them and conflate the 2, but you cant because they are wildly different.

This reminds me of an episode of American dad. Francine decided to stop worrying about her looks because she felt like Stan shouldn't put value in that. So he decided to blind himself so he could love her for who she was and not her looks. But in return, she had to get a job and be a provider because he was blind, and she didn't want that. She wanted to be provided for. 

[mandyjw]

1 hour ago, electroBeam said:

Yeah, i hope you dont get offended by this, but i feel like if you were a man for a few weeks, you'd see the missing picture.

From my POV its sort of like you're guessing what physical attraction is for a male without feeling it in your bones. Which is fine because thats all females have, and i dont get what its like to be a female.

 I can sort of appreciate imagine that there's a stronger impulse and aversion there for men. There are guys that I find really, immediately physically attractive. But in real life I've never really loved what was in their heads and hearts enough to be emotionally pulled enough to do anything about it. 

In a long term relationship stuff equals out. Like my husband comes from a fairly rich family, mine is lower middle class. His last year of college, his parents decided to cut him off for religious reasons and then he graduated in the middle of the financial crash with no job prospects. I made a lot of money while he was in school so I bought our house, paid for our wedding and most everything for a while. Now he makes a lot more than me, I do most of the work with the kids, house, I work some but can focus on spirituality or whatever I want. Neither of us feels like one provided for the other. 

Both of our parents are still married, pretty much the same equal situation on both sides. We saw relationships more as a partnership, not a transactional, value exchange.

1 hour ago, electroBeam said:

Like for me personally, if you told me that you dont like dating homeless men, I'd be like why? Thats silly, dont get it, because if i had to pick up a beautiful homeless women from the slums of Africa, I'd definitely do it, because what job she has means nothing to me. The fact that she looks like an artform made by some Picasso, and she's got a feminine vibe, is all that matter purely on the attractive front(you can develop frienship stuff like emotional connection and love to enhance it, but purely attractive wise, that's all thats needed) But just purely guessing, I think thats different for women like how looks are different for men. Something about security and attraction with a homeless guy? Idk because im not a woman.

This is a male fantasy. (Yes, women have plenty or their own ridiculous fantasies) Most men LOVE to be the hero. Even if you're paying his rent, you gotta have him kill spiders for you or something like that.  

Edited November 18, 2020 by mandyjw

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

 I can sort of appreciate imagine that there's a stronger impulse and aversion there for men. There are guys that I find really, immediately physically attractive. But in real life I've never really loved what was in their heads and hearts enough to be emotionally pulled enough to do anything about it. 

In a long term relationship stuff equals out. Like my husband comes from a fairly rich family, mine is lower middle class. His last year of college, his parents decided to cut him off for religious reasons and then he graduated in the middle of the financial crash with no job prospects. I made a lot of money while he was in school so I bought our house, paid for our wedding and most everything for a while. Now he makes a lot more than me, I do most of the work with the kids, house, I work some but can focus on. Neither of us feels like one provided for the other. 

Both of our parents are still married, pretty much the same equal situation on both sides. We saw relationships more as a partnership, not a transactional, value exchange.

This is a male fantasy. (Yes, women have plenty or their own ridiculous fantasies) Most men LOVE to be the hero. Even if you're paying his rent, you gotta have him kill spiders for you or something like that.  

Thought you were off Internet for the day ? ?

[iceprincess]

44 minutes ago, Raze said:

it was an application for going on a date with him

omg are you serious??, I need to see it  

@Leo Gura this was something I was dying to know I can't believe I missed it can you pls just briefly describe your post, 

[mandyjw]

10 minutes ago, Shin said:

Thought you were off Internet for the day ? ?

Shhhh....

[iceprincess]

@neutralempty  what was his criteria though do you remember

[Axiomatic]

1 minute ago, iceprincess said:

@neutralempty  what was his criteria though do you remember

you'll probably just get upset.

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Axiomatic said:

except tinder sucks. So does bumble. 

I don't necessarily disagree 

[Arcangelo]

I am mostly at stage orange looks matter 95%-98% to me.

 

[legendary]

Why don't I chime in:

Leo, are you looking for a long term committed relationship or are you also looking to get married?

I've seen so many spiritual teachers come out against marriage, even though they're in commited relationships. It makes total sense considering how spiritual growth doesn't go hand in hand with the 'till death do us part' mantra.

 

[Jacob Morres]

I could see myself loving a girl that I didnt find physically attracted to if i felt we had a beautiful soul connection. But thats just been me. I've been like that for a while. 

 

Also be careful because sometimes the person you fall in love with might not even be the person you imagined initially.

Sometimes rigid boundaires and criteria can keep you closed to things new, beautiful and special 

 

Edited November 19, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[Akemrelax]

10 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I find that anxiety over having to look a certain way for someone else is what destroys confidence, which is the actual root of what we find attractive

Uhhh, an unattractive person however confident is still unattractive... Especially true for men don’t know about women. Even with women, a 5’0 confident guy is unattractive no matter what. I agree with everything else.

Can we admit that the dating game is slightly easier for young women? It’s clear on dating apps. Young women are just very valuable to society.

Maybe it’s God’s way of making everything fair, women have/had a big disadvantage everywhere else, maybe God gave them a leg up here. 

[TrustTheProcess]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It will be a delicate balancing act. I'm not making these changes to attract more viewers, but to give the work a higher caliber image for existing and future viewers. In the past I didn't think the image of the work mattered so much, but now I realize that casual attitude cannot hold up in the future as we grow. It needs to feel more professional.

I think I can tone it down without losing the directness, honesty, and in-your-faceness. I want to be direct without being offensive or obnoxious, which I sometimes come off as. It will take me some practice to find the right balance. It should be subtle.

Personally, I appreciate the dashes of edginess and obnoxiousness.

That rawness is the kind of shit that really pierces into the depths of your soul. You teach like a mushroom incarnated as a human being. Sometimes harsh, sometimes obnoxious, sometimes brutal, sometimes offensive-- but those qualities clearly come from a place of love and they make the message feel more intense and real.

Of course, people sometimes get butthurt and uncomfortable with your teachings the same way they would during a trip. Tough love and truth are hard on the ego... but our work is not about catering to that illusion. It is about shattering it. This is exactly why I would bet that a higher percentage of your regular viewers are more into awakening and serious metaphysics than like any other "mainstream" spiritual guru. 

With all of this said, I completely get your decision to make some adjustments over image concerns. You gotta expand your reach and cover your bases somehow. Just make sure you don't turn into Matt Kahn  

EDIT: nothing against Matt Kahn, I love his teachings as well. I don't find his style as useful for deep work though

Edited November 19, 2020 by louhad

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, louhad said:

Personally, I appreciate the dashes of edginess and obnoxiousness.

That rawness is the kind of shit that really pierces into the depths of your soul. You teach like a mushroom incarnated as a human being. Sometimes harsh, sometimes obnoxious, sometimes brutal, sometimes offensive-- but those qualities clearly come from a place of love and they make the message feel more intense and real.

Of course, people sometimes get butthurt and uncomfortable with your teachings the same way they would during a trip. Tough love and truth are hard on the ego... but our work is not about catering to that illusion. It is about shattering it. This is exactly why I would bet that a higher percentage of your regular viewers are more into awakening and serious metaphysics than like any other "mainstream" spiritual guru. 

With all of this said, I completely get your decision to make some adjustments over image concerns. You gotta expand your reach and cover your bases somehow. Just make sure you don't turn into Matt Kahn  

EDIT: nothing against Matt Kahn, I love his teachings as well. I don't find his style as useful for deep work though

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It will be a delicate balancing act. I'm not making these changes to attract more viewers, but to give the work a higher caliber image for existing and future viewers. In the past I didn't think the image of the work mattered so much, but now I realize that casual attitude cannot hold up in the future as we grow. It needs to feel more professional.

I think I can tone it down without losing the directness, honesty, and in-your-faceness. I want to be direct without being offensive or obnoxious, which I sometimes come off as. It will take me some practice to find the right balance. It should be subtle.

???

___

Matt Khan can be in your face too ?