What goes around comes around

[Identity]

Just had an interesting reflection I want to share.

a few years back I did a bunch of pick-up. To be effective at fulfilling my desires, I “downloaded” a bunch of cognitive structures; beliefs, thought patterns, world views.

The views helped me at the time to get what I wanted.

However, they were low-conscious, partial, selfish. Like a devil I trumped around wrecking havoc on my environment. Not acting in the interest of the people around me.

Now, those structures are still active in my mind. However, I have a girlfriend.

Now those same structures are causing fearful thoughts and feelings. Because I have been a devil, I see devils. The world is colored by that perspective.

It just turned out the lens is quite dark.

 

[Recursoinominado]

Be more specific. 

Which structures, beliefs you are talking about?

[Identity]

Mostly programming from the pick-up world, such as RSD.

looking at the people in a quite shallow way. 
Especially looking at girls as objects that can be manipulated. And how they can be manipulated.

Believing things such as “it’s not my responsibility to not hit on het, and continue to seduce her, when she has a boyfriend. That’s her responsibility”.

Not really seeing people as whole human beings with their own unique expressions and desires. Rather as something to satisfy my needs.

It’s hard to exactly put into words. It’s like the world is this huge collection of data, and the perspective you look at the world with selects, ordens and interprets that data.

The perspective I am trying to release, or at least expand upon, takes merely a small slice of all that data available, and makes sense of it in a self-serving way. Denying responsibility. Not seeing the best in people. Mostly seeing animalistic, low-consciousness dynamics.

Not saying they are totally false. Just saying they are limited and limiting.

[Leo Gura]

That's the nature of selfishness.

Eventually you hit up against its limits, and you seek to be unlimited. But the self is the limit.

[Recursoinominado]

36 minutes ago, Identity said:

Not saying they are totally false. Just saying they are limited and limiting.

Of course, they are limited and low-consciousness, but you also said:

15 hours ago, Identity said:

Now those same structures are causing fearful thoughts and feelings. Because I have been a devil, I see devils. The world is colored by that perspective.

What kind of fearful thoughts are you having and what kind of devils are you seeing?

[Rilles]

Its wonderful youre growing out of that! Big props to you! Some people get stuck forever! 

[Identity]

@Recursoinominado

Fear that someone comes along and scoops my girlfriend.

Fear that if we don't have good sex, she will go have sex with someone else.

Projecting my own behaviours onto others. Thinking they will not take responsibility for their actions either.

Believing in a world where humans are mostly animals. This kind of evolutionary biology pick-up ideology. Which creates this kind of self-fulfilling prophesy by which I create a world wherein that is true.

Limiting the possibilities I see for shaping relationships.

This is only part of my psyche, but it is there.

ps. Thanks for digging

Edited November 17, 2020 by Identity

[Identity]

@Leo Gura Yes, it's hard to see the full dynamic of it.. and hard to let go..

[Identity]

@Rilles Thank you!

Is that you in the song you have the YouTube link to?

It's dope, going to listen to it again

[Rilles]

6 minutes ago, Identity said:

@Rilles Thank you!

Is that you in the song you have the YouTube link to?

It's dope, going to listen to it again

haha no! Im not a rapper! Thats Eyedea. I just like the song.  

[Identity]

@Rilles Oh haha, still a cool song!

[Rilles]

58 minutes ago, Identity said:

@Rilles Oh haha, still a cool song!

Check out part 1 too. But its more "depressing". 

[Identity]

1 hour ago, Rilles said:

Check out part 1 too. But its more "depressing". 

Good stuff ??

[Recursoinominado]

3 hours ago, Identity said:

@Recursoinominado

Fear that someone comes along and scoops my girlfriend.

Fear that if we don't have good sex, she will go have sex with someone else.

Projecting my own behaviours onto others. Thinking they will not take responsibility for their actions either.

Believing in a world where humans are mostly animals. This kind of evolutionary biology pick-up ideology. Which creates this kind of self-fulfilling prophesy by which I create a world wherein that is true.

Limiting the possibilities I see for shaping relationships.

This is only part of my psyche, but it is there.

ps. Thanks for digging

I actually dug because i knew you were going to answer what you just answered. 

Pick up works for a reason, women are still hypergamous and moved by their emotions, not by logic. 

That being said, there is no good reason to live in fear, just do what you can, control what you can control and relax.

Remember: abundance mentality is key.

[Leo Gura]

Just stop caring whether she sleeps with anyone else. She won't if you're a high value guy. Work instead on raising your value.

[Axiomatic]

@Rilles RIP EYEDEA! 

[Darlisto]

@Recursoinominado

5 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

Remember: abundance mentality is key.

Priceless advice. 

[Identity]

@Rilles Loved part 1 too! Relatable stuff

@Recursoinominado I'll keep the abundance mindset in mind next time some of these thoughts appear, thanks!

@Leo Gura High value and rising, hehe.