How can I speed up my healing journey

[B_HAZ]

I had a really bad childhood..I started my healing journey when I was 19 now I'm 22 and I'm still struggling every time I work on myself I feel good for weeks but then I feel the negative emotions again I'm so tired I want to feel good I forgot how to enjoy my life I'm losing hope  

How can I speed up this process more, I already invested 3 years

I always sabotage myself, I recently had a great opportunity but I lost it because of my emotions and likewise in relationships

also If you went through this period it would be helpful if you share your experience  

 

[arlin]

3 hours ago, B_HAZ said:

I feel good for weeks

I started at your age and im 21 now. 

I haven't been able to say this.

I have negative emotions everyday so you are probably more lucky.

3 hours ago, B_HAZ said:

I always sabotage myself, I recently had a great opportunity but I lost it because of my emotions and likewise in relationships

Are you actually working on finding honest and authentic relationships? 

In my journey what i found was that, all that umbearable depression, a big component of it, other than the porn addiction, was simply loneliness. You know, that kind of loneliness that you feel even when you are around everybody.

Deep emotional connection.

[DianaFr]

I’m probably risking looking like a failure to you, but here is my experience. I started my healing journey more or less consciously around 23, now I’m 34 and, guess what, I’m still healing! So I have invested already over a decade and will continue to do so probably for the rest of my life. So when you ask how to speed this process up, my first response is – you can’t really speed it up. You will heal no more and no less than how your inner timing permits and how ready you are to move on to the next level. Also, healing is not really a linear process. Rather, it moves in spirals, so you will probably revisit the same issues multiple times but every time you do, you will have become already a bit wiser and more aware, so you will be able to look at your wounds from a more refined perspective.

Here’s what I’ve learned along my healing journey.

1.  You cannot undo your past, so you better own it and make peace with it.

2.  Self-acceptance is a key to any healing, and it kind of goes hand in hand with the previous point.

3.  It’s useless to try to control your healing. It will take it’s time and you better ride with it (otherwise, you create a lot of resistance and make things even worse). Trusting the process is the best.

4.  Every relapse is not a step back but a learning experience. If you can choose to view it that way, first, you will cultivate self-compassion which in and of itself is a very healing quality, and second, here is your chance to speed things up because when you heal, you don’t go against yourself, no matter how bad you think you have failed. Instead you become your best friend and supporter, and this attitude allows the process to unfold naturally.

5.  It’s important to explore your motivation and understand why you want to heal. What is it that you desire the most deep down in your heart. Chances are high that the very traumas you have endured have a lot to do with the purpose of your life. If you want to heal just to feel good and be normal, probably it won’t take you very far. But if you can see the higher good that comes from healing, if you can see yourself becoming a more compassionate, driven, resourceful human being that is a positive force in the world, now we’re talking. Having a higher purpose and meaning completely changes the way you look at your suffering. Healing ceases to be a destination. It becomes an integral part of your life's path, where you keep growing and learning and doing your best to make your journey worthwile. 

To sum it all up, you speed your healing up by not speeding it up. 

[B_HAZ]

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Chances are high that the very traumas you have endured have a lot to do with the purpose of your life. if you can see yourself becoming a more compassionate, driven, resourceful human being that is a positive force in the world, now we’re talking. Having a higher purpose and meaning completely changes the way you look at your suffering. 

This part was so helpful I guess that's what I wasn't able to see, thanks for sharing your experience 

[B_HAZ]

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Are you actually working on finding honest and authentic relationships?

 

Right now I don't have the energy to do that, working on my emotions is so draining

Edited November 17, 2020 by B_HAZ