Fear of Success (Achievemephobia)

[CreativeUsername]

Hello, my first post here.

 

Let's share some background. I am semi-pro online poker player, making a good amount of money overall. In this game mental balance is very important, so I do a lot of meditation, yoga, hypnosis, tai chi and other practises..

I have faced nice upswing lately and made a good amount of money. Poker has a lot of variances, somedays you will make hundreds in one hour, and sometimes it will take even a week to make same amount, and sometimes there will be many days in row only losing. This is the hardest part of the game.

Fear of success is a quite new concept for me, I have researched a lot about this topic, but it still doesn't make sense in many case. I don't even know am I having it, I think because I am a very competitive person, and when things are going well, I just get bored because there are not things to improve. My main motivation is to make progress and see improvements of my skills. 

I am also former telemarketer. This is the first time when I realized there is something wrong with my mindset. Days when I make a lot of sales and getting good profits, I start to slow down.  Somehow I stopped caring about making lot of money and trying to "balance" the variance. so when I have made a lot of sales, I just stopped trying. Same with poker, but it is little bit different, because there is possibility lose just earned money, in telemarketing only thing I can lose is time. 

General guideline is that you should play more when you are in your winning streak, but I am too afraid of losing just earned money. So there is a mix between atyki (fear of failure) and achievemephobia.

I have researched about this topic, and they explain that success will bring new responsibilities that you are afraid to handle, what others will think of your "unearned" success, you are afraid of that success will make you asshole, arrogant etc. But no, I don't buy that. I don't give a shit if I'll become asshole, or mean by success, it will be actually cool, totally opposite what I am right now, and new liabilities? Hmm, no, I only see better lifestyle and improved life. 

Two years ago, I won my first big tournament. My poker bankroll tripled. Guess what happened one month after that? Yeah, that's right, I lost all those winnings and went back to original bankroll. Why is that? Somehow my mind didn't see that winning as my money, it felt like I won it by luck, no skills, it didn't belong to me. Also, it gave me over-confidence, boredom, I am too good now, I started being careless and throw money everywhere, I played at too high stakes compared to my skills, I became impatient and I thought nothing can stop me, soooo wrong. Same effect on what happens to lottery winners, they just lose everything. 

 

So, what are your thoughts and do you have any advises for me? Thanks a lot.

[Rasheed]

11 minutes ago, CreativeUsername said:

Hello, my first post here.

 

Let's share some background. I am semi-pro online poker player, making a good amount of money overall. In this game mental balance is very important, so I do a lot of meditation, yoga, hypnosis, tai chi and other practises..

I have faced nice upswing lately and made a good amount of money. Poker has a lot of variances, somedays you will make hundreds in one hour, and sometimes it will take even a week to make same amount, and sometimes there will be many days in row only losing. This is the hardest part of the game.

Fear of success is a quite new concept for me, I have researched a lot about this topic, but it still doesn't make sense in many case. I don't even know am I having it, I think because I am a very competitive person, and when things are going well, I just get bored because there are not things to improve. My main motivation is to make progress and see improvements of my skills. 

I am also former telemarketer. This is the first time when I realized there is something wrong with my mindset. Days when I make a lot of sales and getting good profits, I start to slow down.  Somehow I stopped caring about making lot of money and trying to "balance" the variance. so when I have made a lot of sales, I just stopped trying. Same with poker, but it is little bit different, because there is possibility lose just earned money, in telemarketing only thing I can lose is time. 

General guideline is that you should play more when you are in your winning streak, but I am too afraid of losing just earned money. So there is a mix between atyki (fear of failure) and achievemephobia.

I have researched about this topic, and they explain that success will bring new responsibilities that you are afraid to handle, what others will think of your "unearned" success, you are afraid of that success will make you asshole, arrogant etc. But no, I don't buy that. I don't give a shit if I'll become asshole, or mean by success, it will be actually cool, totally opposite what I am right now, and new liabilities? Hmm, no, I only see better lifestyle and improved life. 

Two years ago, I won my first big tournament. My poker bankroll tripled. Guess what happened one month after that? Yeah, that's right, I lost all those winnings and went back to original bankroll. Why is that? Somehow my mind didn't see that winning as my money, it felt like I won it by luck, no skills, it didn't belong to me. Also, it gave me over-confidence, boredom, I am too good now, I started being careless and throw money everywhere, I played at too high stakes compared to my skills, I became impatient and I thought nothing can stop me, soooo wrong. Same effect on what happens to lottery winners, they just lose everything. 

 

So, what are your thoughts and do you have any advises for me? Thanks a lot.

From what I understood, the book called: The Big Leap by G. Hendricks is perfect for you: https://www.amazon.com/Big-Leap-Conquer-Hidden-Level/dp/0061735361

Also, maybe Psycho-Cybernetics by M. Maltz can help you, this will help in expanding your self image, therefore next time you attain a big money, it will feel more natural. https://www.amazon.com/Psycho-Cybernetics-Maxwell-Maltz-audiobook/dp/B06XRJZN8Q/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ZYR3P7EZUJKK&dchild=1&keywords=maxwell+maltz&qid=1605536350&s=books&sprefix=Maxwell%2Cstripbooks-intl-ship%2C717&sr=1-1

Edited November 16, 2020 by Rasheed

[Leo Gura]

48 minutes ago, CreativeUsername said:

So, what are your thoughts and do you have any advises for me?

Your problem is not what you think it is.

The trick with serious personal development is that you must resolve problems at new levels of consciousness, not within the same old paradigms.

Here's your real problem: you've selected a zero-sum career. Your success essentially requires stealing money from others and having them lose money. Your career entirely hinges on competition, so of course you will be fearful of being out-competed because that's exactly what happens in a competition paradigm. There is always someone better than you who will eat your lunch. Always. You're playing a game you can't really win, and that's not satisfying. And naturally it comes with fear of being beaten. Because you will be.

The solution here is radical: change your entire entire paradigm to non-zero-sum. Make your career about creativity and value-generation rather than leeching value from other humans. This way you will have little to fear because your success will only be limited by personal creative effort and energy.

I've done business in the zero-sum competitive paradigm before and it sucks compared to the non-zero-sum creative paradigm.

Do you see what I mean about solving problems at new levels of consciousness? The problem is always deeper and more meta than you first imagine.

You are lucky to have the success you'd had thus far. I would save up money and plan a transition to a truly creative and value-offering career. Not just a career but a life purpose. You have no idea how much of your creative potential and intelligence you are wasting on leeching money from other humans. You could be doing so much more with your life. But of course, you're afraid to move on. << That's where the true fear of failure and success arises. Not in playing poker better, but in moving on to something truly creative beyond poker. Something that will demand much more of your heart and soul.

When you die, on your tombstone do you want it to be written: "This guy spent his whole life clicking on an LCD screen to leech money from others because he was too sacred to do something truly creative and profound with his life."

One of the core Buddhist precepts is "right livelihood".

Using meditation and yoga to leech money from others is a perversion of these holy practices.

Think about it.

If you're serious about growing in this area, take my Life Purpose Course which explains all this and much more in great detail.

[Nahm]

Fear of Success (Achievemephobia)

What is thought to be causation, I did this & this happened, is actually not two things and a relationship between them, but one vibration of the whole of expereince. Intention ‘of’ the separate self can be motivating and work for a while, until intention itself is inevitably on the radar, and it begins to be realized there is falsity in the intention for the separate self because there isn’t one. Inspiration is what is sought, but there is often a confusion period in between realizing this. “Achieve me phobia” in the Self realization sense could be said to be the fear of realizing what I really am, due to the impact it could have on ‘my’ means. The fear of this is the avoidance of inspection of intention. Nobody fears success. Every one feels discord & alignment with thought, intention, and source. Not every one aligns these, as it is said, “most men live a life of quite desperation”. 

[CreativeUsername]

On 16.11.2020 at 4:40 PM, Leo Gura said:

Your problem is not what you think it is.

The trick with serious personal development is that you must resolve problems at new levels of consciousness, not within the same old paradigms.

Here's your real problem: you've selected a zero-sum career. Your success essentially requires stealing money from others and having them lose money. Your career entirely hinges on competition, so of course you will be fearful of being out-competed because that's exactly what happens in a competition paradigm. There is always someone better than you who will eat your lunch. Always. You're playing a game you can't really win, and that's not satisfying. And naturally it comes with fear of being beaten. Because you will be.

The solution here is radical: change your entire entire paradigm to non-zero-sum. Make your career about creativity and value-generation rather than leeching value from other humans. This way you will have little to fear because your success will only be limited by personal creative effort and energy.

I've done business in the zero-sum competitive paradigm before and it sucks compared to the non-zero-sum creative paradigm.

Do you see what I mean about solving problems at new levels of consciousness? The problem is always deeper and more meta than you first imagine.

You are lucky to have the success you'd had thus far. I would save up money and plan a transition to a truly creative and value-offering career. Not just a career but a life purpose. You have no idea how much of your creative potential and intelligence you are wasting on leeching money from other humans. You could be doing so much more with your life. But of course, you're afraid to move on. << That's where the true fear of failure and success arises. Not in playing poker better, but in moving on to something truly creative beyond poker. Something that will demand much more of your heart and soul.

When you die, on your tombstone do you want it to be written: "This guy spent his whole life clicking on an LCD screen to leech money from others because he was too sacred to do something truly creative and profound with his life."

One of the core Buddhist precepts is "right livelihood".

Using meditation and yoga to leech money from others is a perversion of these holy practices.

Think about it.

If you're serious about growing in this area, take my Life Purpose Course which explains all this and much more in great detail.

So you are basically saying if something is challenging - just give up. Works maybe for you, but not for me, sorry. I like challenges, and that's why I play poker, and really enjoy STEALING money from lazy and stupid people who are not interested to study how to master the game, and I make a lot of money by that, so who you are to criticize my "zero-sum" career choice? Your business includes stealing money from helpless people with false advises, so maybe you should change your career to some more ethical, like playing poker?

If you're serious about growing in this area, take my Poker Course which explains all this and much more in great detail.

Edited November 19, 2020 by CreativeUsername