Help! Mindfuck after Leos talks about science

[Sine]

Guys.. What the fuck.

I'm 26 studying for a BA in psychology. (Plan is/was to go for the master and maybe a Ph.D. also) 

My plan with studying psychology was initially that I wanted to become a therapist, but after I have started at the university, a whole new world opened up to me and I became very interested in science and doing research. I'm of course very interested in psychedelic therapy, but also mindfulness and contextual factors/placebo effects. Also, even though it doesn't exist, I still think the brain is very fascinating. 

Last summer I did an ayahuasca retreat. It was a huge experience even though I had tried other psychedelics before. On one of the trips, I had a vision where I played music and had some kind of a healer-role at a ceremony. So when I came home I began to learn about music (actually my first wish when I was a child). 

I have later gone back to the center and is slowly becoming a part of the community there. 

My plan then developed into some kind of mixed vision about maybe starting my own spiritual/therapeutical center, after I finish my degree, where I could help people actualize while also doing psychology research as a scientist and maybe something with music/art. 

BUT THEN LEO FUCKED ME UP WITH HIS TALK ABOUT SCIENCE

Then I did a mushrooms trip that threw me out of this world (at a retreat with guides and other people so it was sort of a therapeutic experience, which also woke me back into my old dream about being a therapist myself) 

After these two things, I was starting to think that maybe research and science is not where I should put my energy, maybe I should put more energy into learning about healing the old fashioned way by observing and volunteering at retreats. I also had more thoughts about music and learning how to do music therapy. 

BUT THEN! I checked my mail and a researcher (in biological/cognitive psychology) had answered the mail I wrote to him months ago, about if I could volunteer in one of his research projects. (his research usually has a main focus on mindfulness and also a lot of focus on the physical brain). It seems like he has a spot for me.

Normally I would be really excited but now I just don't know what to do. Of course, I won't drop out of university, but after Leos talk /and the shrooms) I feel like maybe putting energy into research might be a dead-end?

I know I should probably do Leo's life purpose course but I need to figure out what I should answer the researcher before tonight.. Also, I know it will be so difficult for me to find one life purpose because everything in this world is so fascinating and interesting and I can never pick just one thing and feel like I have so little time!

I would really appreciate it if you would share your thoughts about what Leo said about science, and if it has changed something for you in relation to your career plan? Maybe also if you have suggestions on how I should approach this D: Thank you <3

 

[UDT]

Whats fascinating for you about empirical research?

Maybe if you have your own lab and do some break-through research in neuroscience discovering new neuronal pathways or whatever, that allows you to be intuitive and creative at the same time.

But I would say 80% of research done is just manual field work.

[Hello from Russia]

Interning for a professor who researches mindfulness seems like a legit path

[Waves]

It seems like a good opportunity to see for yourself, instead of hearing or fantasizing about, what doing actual empirical research looks like.

Treat it like an experiment (heh) for yourself, observe (and journal about) how you feel about it as you help doing research. I'm guessing it won't be long term, and you'll be able to take a step back if you see it's not for you. You'll scratch that itch and will be able to move on.

[Space]

1 hour ago, Sine said:

BUT THEN! I checked my mail and a researcher (in biological/cognitive psychology) had answered the mail I wrote to him months ago, about if I could volunteer in one of his research projects. (his research usually has a main focus on mindfulness and also a lot of focus on the physical brain). It seems like he has a spot for me.

Personally I would go and do this project. By the sounds of it it doesn't seem like a long term commitment. It's not like you're gonna be working with this guy forever. It could provide some really good experience which you can take with you going forward. 

2 hours ago, Sine said:

I know I should probably do Leo's life purpose course but I need to figure out what I should answer the researcher before tonight.. Also, I know it will be so difficult for me to find one life purpose because everything in this world is so fascinating and interesting and I can never pick just one thing and feel like I have so little time!

Of course! You are not alone in this. I could go off in 20 different career paths, but ultimately you have to commit to something. You've got to be ok with letting go of a lot of stuff, dreams, ideas, in order to fully actualize one path to the fullest. It doesn't mean you can't change course in the future, but you've got to commit to something in the short term at least.

Really it comes down to what the hell do you really want out of life?! If you had to spend 50 hours a week working for the rest of your life what would you most want to do? Then start putting a plan in place to make it happen.

2 hours ago, Sine said:

My plan then developed into some kind of mixed vision about maybe starting my own spiritual/therapeutical center, after I finish my degree, where I could help people actualize while also doing psychology research as a scientist and maybe something with music/art. 

A great vision, but too vague. You can't 'help people actualise', do 'psychology research', and then do 'music/art' all at the same time. Be much more specific, think about the actual reality of each of these things on a day to day basis. If you had to pick one of these things which would it be? What do you really want to be doing?

2 hours ago, Sine said:

I'm of course very interested in psychedelic therapy, but also mindfulness and contextual factors/placebo effects. Also, even though it doesn't exist, I still think the brain is very fascinating. 

Psychedelic therapy is field that is going to massively open up over the next few years and decades  - and it will be an extremely important area of science. We will need lots of compassionate, openminded, and forward thinking people to take the lead. Why don't you work towards this? I could see myself doing this - maybe in the next life.

 

 

[Sine]

@Space thank you this helped a lot. I think I'm gonna try it out and see if it could be something. I'm gonna do Leos life purpose course as soon as possible.. And try to work with my fear of letting other paths go when choosing just one. Because I have become aware that this is a big problem for me. Would you mind to share your own life purpose with me? I'm just curious - and maybe how you came to realize it? 

[mandyjw]

As someone who really wanted to purse higher education in psychology but didn't make it work out through the traditional education route, I want you to open your mind to appreciating the value in the course you're on. It's all the more powerful and useful to you now that you won't be dogmatic about it. I wouldn't assume that you have to throw it away. I really believe that the world will really need people who can bridge these fields, who have these deeper transcendent insights but also the qualifications. 

Look into Carl Jung, read Woman Who Run With Wolves. You can certainly integrate psychology and spirituality. There's no border between the two. 

Keep your focus on what you want, don't resist what you don't want. Sometimes we create conflicts when there are none. With a slight shift of focus on what we want and what inspires us the conflicts falls away. The brain exists, and it does not. Both statements are simultaneously true. No conflict. 

 

Edited November 19, 2020 by mandyjw

[Space]

1 hour ago, Sine said:

Would you mind to share your own life purpose with me? I'm just curious - and maybe how you came to realize it? 

I'm specifically working on becoming a freelance illustrator. I want to get to a point where i'm doing client work i.e. working for brands, companies, advertisers, magazines, publications. In addition to that, I want to produce and sell artwork that specifically illustrates spiritual and metaphysical ideas/concepts. 

I've always been 'arty' but I never got any good career advice in my teenage years, so I dabbled around in other areas and spent many years not really building my art skills or doing anything art related. However the whole time in the back of my mind I knew I was wasting a natural talent that I had, and if I didn't pursue it seriously I would regret it for the rest of my life. One day I suddenly realised that there are actually people that get paid to draw and make pictures! It just didn't occur to me that illustration was a potential career path, particularly now with social media etc. I also realised that illustrators aren't just people that draw images for children's books. There are many other avenues to go down.

That was about 2.5 years ago, and i've been working on projects and kinda obsessively honing my skills ever since. I had a lot of fundamental art skills to learn, despite having done a lot of art my whole life. And good work takes a lot of time. I might spend 15 hours on a piece only to realise its not working. So thats why i've been working on it for a long time, and i'm not slowing down any time soon.

I took Leo's life purpose course sometime before this. Elements of the above are clearly in my notes from the course, just not as explicitly. The main thing the course taught me was to just be committed to figuring out what you want to do in life, even if it takes you years to get there.

[Carl-Richard]

One lens that can be useful in your situation is that science didn't really change - only your perception of it did. Going into science with your new perspective will make you a much better scientist.

Edited November 19, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[Sine]

On 19.11.2020 at 6:33 PM, mandyjw said:

As someone who really wanted to purse higher education in psychology but didn't make it work out through the traditional education route, I want you to open your mind to appreciating the value in the course you're on. It's all the more powerful and useful to you now that you won't be dogmatic about it. I wouldn't assume that you have to throw it away. I really believe that the world will really need people who can bridge these fields, who have these deeper transcendent insights but also the qualifications. 

Look into Carl Jung, read Woman Who Run With Wolves. You can certainly integrate psychology and spirituality. There's no border between the two. 

Keep your focus on what you want, don't resist what you don't want. Sometimes we create conflicts when there are none. With a slight shift of focus on what we want and what inspires us the conflicts falls away. The brain exists, and it does not. Both statements are simultaneously true. No conflict. 

 

Thank you! Really appreciate the book advice!

[Elisabeth]

On 16/11/2020 at 1:08 PM, Sine said:

BUT THEN! I checked my mail and a researcher (in biological/cognitive psychology) had answered the mail I wrote to him months ago, about if I could volunteer in one of his research projects. (his research usually has a main focus on mindfulness and also a lot of focus on the physical brain). It seems like he has a spot for me.

Normally I would be really excited but now I just don't know what to do. Of course, I won't drop out of university, but after Leos talk /and the shrooms) I feel like maybe putting energy into research might be a dead-end?

Don't decide based on Leo's video only. Go do that high-level research that you're invited to. See for yourself, whether it feels meaningful or not! (You don't say what year you're in, if you can connect it with your bachelor/master thesis, all the better.)