I am struggling dealing with cancer

[No_thing__]

Hello,

(I hope this is the right forum)

I was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago and I am currently undergoing chemotherapy. I am 29 years old.

Spirituality and the teachings of Leo, Eckhart Tolle as well as the approaches of Nonduality as a whole enrich me a lot and give me stability. At the moment I am not working and use the time to get in touch with myself. I am very grateful to be able to do this (I live in Germany). For this I do a lot physically,too: every day I spend an hour in nature and I practice Qi Gong.

Dealing with the situation spiritually lets me learn a lot about myself. I have been working on my shadows for years and meditation always helps me a lot. Even now.

Unfortunately I often have problems because I want to do everything right.
I am so afraid that I won't make it or that I might fall ill again. The risk is there, not few women experience that. Because of these fears (and obviously my pathological attachment to them) it is so difficult for me to visualise a positive vision of my future. Maybe I will never be able to have children. Never live without fear. When I think about it, so much sadness and helplessness fills me.

I have the feeling that meditation and reading books or journaling only relieves me for a short time, but this fear always resonates. So often I fall into the victim mode and am not present and therefore suffering. And then I am hard on myself again because my life depends on healing my shadows and being confident about myself. And that the cause of the illness lies in these shadows and that I want to arrange my life in such a way that I always stay healthy puts me under so much pressure.

I always felt so lost and overwhelmed growing up and i never had „real“ obstacles, they were always in my head. Now there is this existential crisis and I do not know where to start. Always the question "what if I don't make it?“ 

everything overwhelms me.

Please help me. Thank you

[Nahm]

There is no ‘right’, and for as long as one ‘is right’ about there being ‘fear’, being right is put ahead of feeling great - the very feeling being labelled ‘fear’. Understanding what fear really is, how it relates to righteousness, and how each one is or is not creating it, is key to well being. Wishing you all the well being & healing possible. ?

The loophole shake.

[Beginner Mind]

@No_thing__ I am not wise enough nor qualified enough to be giving advice, but always remember: you are a spiritual being having a very temporary human experience.  Much love to you.

[DianaFr]

Have you tried to answer that question? “What if I don’t make it?” What would happen if you didn’t make it?

“…my life depends on healing my shadows and being confident about myself.” Why? What is so bad about living with shadows and not being confident about yourself?

I don’t necessarily need to know your answers to these questions. They are for you to look deeply within yourself and see what wants to come up. I can sense much tension and resistance behind your post. It’s like you are desperately trying to pass the spirituality test with an A grade because – so it seems – you think that achieving spiritual perfection (healing your shadow) is a ticket to healthy life. I may be totally off, of course, and if that’s the case, I apologize. But what if you didn’t try so hard? What if your illness is desperately trying to tell you – please stop fixing and perfecting every single bit about yourself? What if all your shadow really wants is your unconditional presence – without ever trying to change it?

You are not damaged or broken in any way. I’m not saying that to diminish the hardship you’re going through or to deny your illness. I’m saying that because that’s what I feel in my heart. You don’t need to fix yourself to deserve health and positive future. You already deserve it, right now, even being unhealthy, full of fear and overwhelmed. I hope you will be able to see that about yourself, too.

Once more – my apologies, if I missed it or upset you in any way. I just want you to know that you are enough.

[Hero in progress]

@No_thing__

If I was undergoing chemotherapy, I would want someone to show me this video. The fasting mimicking diet can help while undergoing treatment. If your interested, check it out. 

 

Whatever the case, be a little less hard on yourself, take a breath, Someone close to me died recently, it made me realise that at the end of the day the only thing that matters is love, we are all gona die very soon, its okay, But while you still breathing. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 

[No_thing__]

@DianaFr Your words hit me very hard - in a positive way. Because they are true. I am very strict with myself and see all my weaknesses, dissect them and try to treat them. So often I turn myself down. I think this is more the core of the matter than anything else. I thank you for your honest words. I needed to hear them. You do not need to apologize. I appreciate your comment very much.

[No_thing__]

@Beginner Mind Thank you for this honest and important reminder. Take care <3

[integral]

It would of probably made sense to eat healthy, exercise and sleep well, try that for 6 months and see if it fixs the cancer... Doing chemo should of been that last resort? Chemotherapy causes people to get so sick they stop eating, they start fasting. Its the fasting and life style changes that kill the cancer.  Its not bad luck that caused the cancer, there is a root cause, stop doing the things that caused the cancer and the cancer will resolve. 

Edited November 15, 2020 by integral

[DianaFr]

6 hours ago, No_thing__ said:

@DianaFr Your words hit me very hard - in a positive way. Because they are true. I am very strict with myself and see all my weaknesses, dissect them and try to treat them. So often I turn myself down. I think this is more the core of the matter than anything else. I thank you for your honest words. I needed to hear them. You do not need to apologize. I appreciate your comment very much.

I'm glad my thoughts resonated with you. If at any point you feel you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me. Be well <3

[Leo Gura]

@No_thing__ Sorry to hear of your situation.

I see a couple of issues here:

1) I wouldn't worry about personal or spiritual development right now. You don't need that extra stress. Take it easy and focus all your efforts at healing. You can return to self-actualizing once you're healed. In a sense this is a wake-up call for you to start taking your health much more seriously and be proactive about it.

2) The question of facing your death is a very serious one. The best way to achieve this quickly is through psychedelics like mushrooms or LSD. These are proven to help people cope with fear of death. What you can realize is that you are not this one life or this one body/mind/persona. So if you can get your hands on some mushrooms, they can help ease your fears about death. Death is not a bad thing. It is Infinity/Love/God. It is good to have some direct experience of this as you face life and death matters like this cancer. Spiritual understanding will give you peace.

I've done so many psychedelics that I'm kinda looking forward to my death now. This human realm is so limited. Nothing of great importance will be lost. Greater things lie ahead.

3) I would focus a lot of your energy on researching various possible health solutions for cancer. Don't just blindly follow the advice of Western doctors. You need to look into alternative methods, read, research, talk to people, find healers, etc. There is much about cancer and its treatment which conventional Western doctors do not understand and will never tell you about. But of course take the medicine you need. Never give up researching. You can find some amazing stuff.

[Psychventure]

@No_thing__ I'm a allopathic medical doctor from India. Please consider alternative method for your healing. Cancer cells gets energy in anaerobic condition. Deep breathing exercises will greatly help you.

Chemotherapy will make you body numb and destroys microbiome which in turn cause more depression, anxiety. 80% serotonin is produced in gut with the help of microbiome.  

Fasting, deep breathing exercises, yoga, satvic diet, meditation will greatly help you... 

 

If you haven't watched this video pls watch. 

[Arcangelo]

22 hours ago, Beginner Mind said:

@No_thing__ I am not wise enough nor qualified enough to be giving advice, but always remember: you are a spiritual being having a very temporary human experience.  Much love to you.

^^^This

No one is getting out of life alive.