How Do I Move On?

[Birdcage]

My first time posting a thread here. I'm not a native English speaker so I apologise in advance if I make mistakes. 

My question might sound a bit shallow but bare with me please. 

I heard Leo speak of good nutrition and fitness are essential for women. 

I seem to not attract any guys. What I mean is my guy friends would tell me I'm hot.. Etc but they are my friends! 

Im in good shape. Maybe not very conventionally in a good shape? I work out and eat well, but I am kind of on the skinny side. No matter what I do, I stay super thin ( think of Kate moss thin circa 90's). Do you think that's a turn off for men? 

I know there are lots of other issues more important than this. But just wanted an honest opinion. 

 

[Capethaz]

No. I like skinny girls.

[Birdcage]

6 hours ago, Capethaz said:

No. I like skinny girls.

Thank you. I'm coming around to accept that fact. It's sort of annoying when you meet someone and they ask you 'why are you so thin?' . It's the same effect as being asked 'why are you fat?' Which is rude but people can't seem to see the resemblance between the two. 

[Capethaz]

@Birdcage But if you want to get weight you can, just eat more or track your calories.

[Birdcage]

I do actually. It just doesn't seem to stay on. I can really try and move less and eat more calories (without making myself sick, cause I'm not into candy and carbs that much) gain a few pounds then when I'm back to my comfy old self they shed off. I will try to keep those few though. I miss my ass from my puberty :))

[milica996]

Oh my God, finally someone with the same problem as mine! I mean this sounds bad for being happy because of someone else's problem, NO that's not what I meant, but it feels good not to feel like the only one in here.

And also a disclaimer, English isn't my native language as well.

I have the same problem here about training and eating very well and I must say I got some very nice results but still on the skinny side. And we live now in world that adores huge butts and curves and where curvier women are celebrated as ,,the real women should look like this,, and bull sh*it. And also I had a problem with THINKING that no boy will find me attracting just the way I look. So I decided to make a shift in my mind just to see if it would do something, you know like LET'S TEST THIS MAN. Like it won't harm me. So I started telling myself ALL the opposites than I used to before.

So there were no ,, im too skinny,, but ,, I am extra fit,, and no ,, boys dont like small bums,, but ,, boys find me attractive'' and so on and so on as Leo said you have to repeat it many times to sink in subconscious mind. And you have to feel good while saying it, because it won't work in other way. Just feel into that sentence ,, boys adore my body,,... it feels great right? I mean it's bad if you are valuing yourself of please dudes, but if you are like me, then you'll find out at the end of the day that you don't f. actually need their approval.

So, I dont know when, but I SERIOUSLY started attracting guys who appreciated my abbs and my size and it was AMAZING! But... then I realized I only needed to be accepted by myself not somebody else< because I was still unhappy of being skinny. So I worked on that too and more of people came in my life saying I look like a tiny model ( I am 163 and 45 kg but I am healthy I swear) and stuff but I wanted to upgrade because I really wanted few extra kg because if I am developing myself '' the head and soul '' , why not achieving some body goals you know what I mean, why stoping there?

So that is my QUESTION I gues.. I don't know how to unblock that stuff in my head that is keeping me in this stage no matter what I do because I know it's only in my mind... any help? :)))))))

[Jared Gregory]

@Birdcage No matter your weight if that means being skinny or fat people should accept you regardless. I am quite slim myself and when you get people saying why are you so thin? they clearly are unconscious  so i take it with a pinch of salt and don't react. 

As long you are happy and feel happy inside that's all that matters.

[Birdcage]

@milica996 that really helps. I will try that. Thank you so much. Two more items to add to my affirmations

[Birdcage]

@Jared Gregory You are right. It's about accepting yourself and being happy with it. 

[Schulzy]

Yes Kate Moss is huge turn off for men.

[Bizarre]

1 hour ago, Schulzy said:

Yes Kate Moss is huge turn off for men.

This is trolling?

Or you just being funny? 

Can't tell

@Birdcage

I think maybe you shouldn't take it so seriously, what people say. They are going to say what they say, so better just be indifferent to it all. Nothing that happens in life has anything to do with you. If you do something people don't like, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or that you need to fix yourself or worry or do any of the things that are reactive. Maybe the lesson here is an internal one? That life is presenting something for you to work on, be less concerned with how people see you, their opinions about things etc etc.  I suspect a lot of us are conditioned to think if people don't find us attractive then there must be something wrong with us? Like we are here to live upto some ideal? I don't know, but what would be super attractive for me is a woman who really didn't give a fuck what people thought of her, and she just focused on living a righteous and healthy life. I find that super attractive. But that's just me.

[Schulzy]

Yeah obviously, if she looks like Kate Moss, she is pretty hot, i was just being sarcastic

[Birdcage]

@Bizarre you summed it up pretty good. Well said sir??

[Drivro1]

I like Kate moss, she is hot as hell

[Birdcage]

@Drivro1 we have a kardashian culture now. I guess that's why people are obsessing about weight and have prejudices about how a woman should look 

[Drivro1]

I don't know who watches that crap but I like women of all shapes and sizes.

[Canadian]

I don't think your shape has anything to do with your dating stuff.(unless you are in a very bad form, but you wrote that you aren't)

Personally, asa 17 years old man, I love girls who are confident and logical , I know that women have more likely verbal brain, but still, if a woman's logic is at least understandable to my logic, then it really helps to get in relationship with her.

 

once again, your shape has nothing to do with this topic, just forget it.

 

[Birdcage]

@Drivro1 a lot of people apparently :)) but I get your point 

[Drivro1]

@Birdcage Why? it still bogles my mind

[Lynnel]

@Birdcage

Generaly being fit is percieved as extremely hot . But you have to account for several other things :

- Your personality

- your life situation(job, kids, etc.)

- your face ( there is more to physical appearence than just the body )

So being fit is not gonna immediatly put you in the 1% in the dating market.