First Enlightenment Experience

[DoubleYou]

So last night "I" had the experience of enlightenment. The experience that "I" isn't the one experiencing it. It IS the experience. And that there is awareness of that.
The number one thing that will bring enlightenment is seeing that the one looking for it is not that which is enlightened.
Because an experience can never be aware of itself. The same way a story would never be able to read itself. It's being read. 
So is enlightenment just an acceptance of that fact? Or is there a way to distance oneself from ego completely?

I feel like ego death is the next stop. Which frightens the hell out of me. But at the same time knowing there really is no "me" to begin with makes me laugh. 
The mind is going crazy on this though. It keeps on asking itself if it is indeed enlightened. The answer is of course always no but that's probably why it's yes in a way. This gets so weird. 
It's funny how that goes though. Ego trying to explain to itself that it doesn't exist. That's just not gonna work.

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Bottom line:
You, as in, what you think you are. Are the experience being experienced. Not the experiencer.
But don't just try to understand this. Try to be aware of it. Cause I still don't understand it. And I never will. Because "I" do not exist outside of a story that's being witnessed. 

Hope this helps.
I'm really excited. Yet also scared. But who am I?  

[Saarah]

@DoubleYou ive been thinking along similar lines, like how the body is a bunch of physical impressions, the mind is made of psychological impressions, these impressions are from the environment, experience, conditioning, they're constructed and they can change, and the 'I' thought is part of the psychological impressions, the nature of an impression is to impress, so the 'I' thought is asserting itself, acting out itself, when I'm unconscious in everyday life it plays out itself, that's how you know it's just an automatic impression like every other, awareness doesn't need to be there

but when thinking about awareness, this 'I' impression will not sit down and accept that it's being watched, it seems to think it's watching the awareness watch it

do you find yourself stopping yourself to try to stop yourself being the witness of yourself and just letting awareness witness the experience of 'yourself'? Lol! 

Your post was helpful thanks!  

[DoubleYou]

@Saarah

Exactly! 

We're trying to look from a perspective that's unable to ever perceive what really is. We have to somehow accept that indeed "we" are not the witness, but the witnessed. From an egoic point of view that is. And by accepting that, we recognize that there is something aware of that.

The thing is, our mind thinks there's two perspectives. But only one of them is real. And we are trying to look for all the answers from the perspective that is not real. I notice the mind keeps on asking the question if there's a way to change the perspective from an egoic one to that of awareness. But that question in itself shows just how the mind thinks. Always two instead of one. 

That's the tragic part. The seeking mind, the one looking for all the answers, will never be able to grasp them. And that is just fine. 

[aurum]

From my experience with Enlightenment work so far, fear means you're on the right track. If the ego isn't afraid, it hasn't really started sensing that it's at risk of being unmasked. So keep going. An awakening experience is great, but it's usually not the end.