How to become mentally strong and stay away from Toxicity?

[Preety_India]

Need to start working on this goal 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I believe that people can have two types of energy fields around them. One is positive and creates positive changes in the environment of the person. 

Karma and aura. 

The other side 

Edited November 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

How can I stop a fight today? 

 

[Preety_India]

Karma and aura. 

When you spread positive energy, it's an aura that depletes the negativity in the environment. 

Whereas when you cause harm to someone, you build up negative energy or karma. 

When you have the aura, you burn through karma rapidly. 

 

[Preety_India]

Focus on how I can stay away from Toxicity today. 

The next thing is to move on and leave the bullies behind and prove to them that they are wrong. That it's their misunderstanding and bias and not the truth. Continue your pursuit of progress. 

Progress does not lie in swallowing bitter pills. Instead it lies in carving your own road against all odds. Prove them wrong and be strong. 

 

Those who challenge know not the power of a wounded soul, know not the power of a ravaged beauty, know not the the way to healing. They only know judgement. What good does their judgment bring? 

Their judgment is nothing but obstacles to progress. 

 

[Preety_India]

Punish him. 

I'm asking myself, why? 

 

The answer is, you have to. Because you need to have boundaries. It shouldn't be "anything goes", if you really wanna prove then go all the way and be done. Leave no loose ends 

You have to walk away. You have to be smart and dynamic. A no means a no 

You can't rise from your victimhood by forgiveness. You can only leave the state of victim through punishment. 

A punishment is a closure. 

A fairness. 

A move of power, a gesture of strength. 

You move yourself higher by punishing rather than forgiving. Forgiving is feminine and weak. Punishment is masculine and strong. It's a statement that says "I don't take shit" "things will have consequences" 

Because don't you think that "things should have consequences" 

Forgive those that ask for forgiveness. Not those who try to change the narrative to escape remorse. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I always think of this music whenever I feel great about myself

This is my favorite music. 

 

It's the music of my life journey. 

People say so many judgemental things every day. It's so hurtful. 

But you need to prove everyone wrong. You have to keep growing. 

God is always with the sufferer because God knows the value of every life. God wants you to win, not lose meanwhile people desperately want you to lose to fulfill their ego. That's the world we live in. 

 

I remember my mother always telling me growing up "you will never amount to anything in life."

But I was such a beautiful child.. I grew up to be a beautiful girl. 

God created a beautiful soul in me to prove my mother wrong. 

I cannot stand judgemental people. They are harsh and egotistical. They think they are winning these silly little battles everyday. 

But we're winning the war. 

When you'll be at heaven's gate, God will ask you why you judged an innocent person so harshly and you'll have no face to show. 

The sufferers have won the war. They're victorious. They bleed glory. 

But this fake narcissistic empty world wants accolades and medals and badges and fame and fortune to be considered worthy of their appreciation. 

So sad that the truly wonderful people are left behind in this world. They get called weak, powerless, dreamy, or victim. So many labels, so little meaning. 

A person who suffers is not a victim, but a warrior. When will this stupid world understand this basic truth? 

I suffered so hard in life, I suffered terrible abuse from my mom, that's not how you raise mentally strong children 

She broke my boundaries, she discouraged me every step of the way. She put me down at every opportunity. 

But I rose back again. 

I met abusive men who put on the cloak of Decency. 

They fooled me, manipulated me, abused me and then I left them for a better future. 

Even if I were to die right now, I'm still a winner because I fought so hard for my life. 

I was always a warrior. Will always be. 

I gave strength and hope to people who had none. 

I rescued people from misery and suffering. Not because I wanted any appreciation or praise. I don't care about any sort of praise. 

It's because I wanted people to know that there is hope. There is virtue. There is dignity. There is life. Things will be okay. 

All the people who judge you, they have no idea that you are the winner. 

 

[Preety_India]

Leave toxic people behind you. 

Move towards strength and Empowerment 

Heal yourself. 

Build walls and boundaries. 

Create your own Emollient in life. The one that soothes you when someone hurts you.

Configure your mind body system to be strong. 

 

[Preety_India]

All that toxic people achieve around you 

Is 

To blame you, 

Judge you 

Alienate you, 

Criticise you, 

Prophecize a negative future for you,

Want you to fail 

Want you to lose 

Hurt you 

Be mean to you 

Mock your progress. 

Assassinate your character 

Look down on you 

Remove your vitality and strength

 

 

[Preety_India]

This world is just a silly game of winners and losers. Don't take it to heart. 

[Preety_India]

He got better emotional weapons 

 

 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

@Karmadhi

I think @tsuki gave a very good answer here, probably the best answer on Actualized.org dating section so far and I have read a ton of toxic masculine stuff on this side of the forum, let me tell you that.

Even @Shin said the same thing. 

A lot of the internet material hinges on training you to be a toxic masculine. Don't even read or listen to that 

You have to be you.

Even if you are not charismatic.. It's ok

Even if you're not expressive.. It's ok. 

Even if you're not flirtatious .. It's ok. 

 

The bottom line is that you can become all of the above if you really want it. But if you don't, that's completely OK too. 

Remember a true relationship is where both partners love and accept each other for who they are. Only that relationship will actually last. Makes sense? 

Whereas any relationship where the woman constantly complains about you or shows that she can't accept you for who you are, she does not love you and you don't need such women or people in your life. 

This also applies to friendships. 

Learn to build a self confidence that allows you to be yourself and not someone who is at the mercy of the judgement of others. 

Leave who judge you behind. 

When you are in comfortable space, you can be whatever you want to be. In fact when you are with a person who likes you, all these things that you say like "I'm not expressive, flirtatious, charismatic", they'll automatically happen because your consciousness will adapt to this new comfortable environment and give you more opportunities to become a better version of yourself. 

Right now what you read on the internet is just ego boasting. People trying to make you feel bad about yourself, making you feel like you lack something 

These are super super judgmental people who will continue doing this and keep chipping away at your self esteem convincing you that you are becoming a better male. It's hogwash. Their whole industry capitalizes on making men feel weak and lacking. They are not spiritual people. They will obviously create some nonsense like toxic masculinity. 

Also remember that anyone with all that toxic masculinity built up in them is going to attract the worst type of women. Those are the women those guys end up getting. 

No healthy feminine woman would ever want to date a hyper aggressive toxic masculine guy. So if you want a healthy loving woman to be with you, stop listening to men who tell you that you are lacking something. 

I liked this answer I gave on the forum today. I can relate so much to this 

 

People make you feel like you lack something just to feel better about themselves. 

[Preety_India]

You can't simply manage around toxic people. 

You can't build a future with them. You can't take them with you. You must leave them behind and move on and carry on with your life and continue your smooth journey. 

Remember this footnote 

You have to move forward in life and leave them behind.. 

Edited November 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One way to piss off a narcissist is to completely ignore them and their judgemental chatter. 

Completely ignore.. Pisses them off big time. Make them feel like they dont matter. 

When narcissist tells you to do something, do the exact opposite. This is counter intuitive behavior and is extremely important while dealing with a narcissist. 

Like for example my narcissist abuser ex boyfriend Joseph is constantly persuading me to talk to him since the last 4 days. 

He has been telling me to leave my current boyfriend and get back with him, which I'm not going to do. 

So I have blocked him. 

He wanted me to talk to him. But I ghosted him and blocked him. 

See??? 

Counter intuitive behavior. 

Normally I would have fallen for his bullshit "sorrys"...... 

But not this time.. This time I straight up did the exact opposite. 

It's kinda amusing to do the opposite of what a narcissist tells you to do. 

It's almost like trying to deflate or detonate a bomb. You simply remove their power by releasing the valve.

[Preety_India]

Don't leave any room (don't allow) any hurtful behavior in life 

Always stand up for yourself and cancel out all hurtful behavior from your life. 

 

[Preety_India]

What you always need to remember is this 

When someone hurts you and says harsh things to you or puts you down, (especially a narcissist - they will do this as often as possible) 

Is to say to yourself 

"I need understanding and support, not your judgment." 

Keep repeating this. 

[Preety_India]

Emollient mode on

 

I call "encouraging" my personal emollient. 

An emollient is a cream or lotion that soothes the skin if it's dry or cracked or wounded 

An emollient assists in healing. 

Emotional Abusers, manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths 

They all appear  gentle and decent on the outside. But they are all toxic on the inside. 

 

Edited November 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Devil's chemistry, God's  design. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Emollient mode on 

 

I call "encouraging" my personal emollient. 

 

An emollient is a cream or lotion that soothes the skin if it's dry or cracked or wounded 

 

An emollient assists in healing. 

 

Emotional Abusers, manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths, people belonging to each of these categories hurt in their own unique ways. 

What you need is a shield. A way to soothe yourself instantly after the hurt. 

Switch on your emollient mode and immediately begin soothing yourself  just when the narcissist starts to discourage you. 

Ways to soothe yourself 

• Say that the other person is being an idiot 
• Rebuke the person in your mind 
• Reject what they say 
• Don't take it as a truth 
• Deny what they say 
• Don't show reaction 
• Instant ignore 
• Act like nothing happened 
• Be shameless around these people especially when they continue egging you on trying to guilt or shame you. 
• If the other person says that you are a loser, instantly tell yourself that you are the winner. 

They all appear  gentle and decent on the outside. But they are all toxic on the inside.