Ex Girlfriend Won't Leave Me Alone

[Cameron24529]

Hey guys this is my first post 

 

I am currently a sophomore in college and live in the dorms. Over the summer I broke up with my girlfriend because she is a very negative, angry, and emotionally driven person and we had nothing in common. The problem I'm having is she lives in the dorms with me, just a floor under me.

 

She is completely obsessed with me and will randomly come up to my room and immediately put me in a bad mood. I have worked on staying calm around her but after a while it seems impossible. She gets so mad and is always yelling and hitting me for no reason. Then I will ask her to leave my room and she will argue until she finally leaves and then will threaten suicide if I "don't maker her feel better" (which really means saying something that she can twist into thinking we will get back together.) She has coerced me into having sex or cuddling with her multiple times and has even gotten me to be fwb for a while. I did not want this I felt trapped and forced.

I really wish I would never have to see her again, she is bringing me down emotionally and makes me not even want to leave my room for fear of seeing her. 

Any suggesttions for mentally dealing with this? All I've tried is willing myself to stay calm which can only work for so long .

 

 

 

 

[Allinthemind]

Since she has already got around you before, she is convinced that you will buckle again. Are you giving her mixed signals by letting her into your room? You sound like someone plagued by guilt.

Have a chat to a your personal tutor or make an offical complaint to a member of staff that she is threatening suicide. Tell them that she is harassing you and you would like her to stop.

It's time to be serious about this if it is bothering you that much. Harassment can be draining and will impact on your studies.

[Cameron24529]

1 minute ago, Allinthemind said:

Since she has already got around you before, she is convinced that you will buckle again. Are you giving her mixed signals by letting her into your room? You sound like someone plagued by guilt.

Have a chat to a your personal tutor or make an offical complaint to a member of staff that she is threatening suicide. Tell them that she is harassing you and you would like her to stop.

It's time to be serious about this if it is bothering you that much. Harassment can be draining and will impact on your studies.

Yeah I know there's some more problems with that though. She will say she's gonna go fuck a bunch of guys if I don't do something (talk to her, be her friend, cuddle with her, it's always changing). Just today now she added something, basically if I don't do exactly what she wants (hanging out, cuddling, fucking, basically fwb, and listen to all her problems [all her problems are wanting to get back together]) then she's going to tell everyone that I abused her. Which did not happen but she's twisting me pushing her out of her room and playfully punching her arm or leg sometimes as abuse because she does have some bruises. 

[Allinthemind]

You are not responsible for what she does/does not do.

Consider recording some of these conversations on your phone just in case you ever need to prove your innocence. She is blackmailing you. When you have the evidence, then speak to an official in college.

Things could get nasty. Be serious about your intentions here to prevent any fallout.

[Ayla]

@Cameron24529

do you have a social worker in your school? Immediately go and talk this with him/her. 

Do not let your ex into the room under any circumstances. If she comes in, you leave and ask security to come get her out. 

Tell as many people as possible that you are being bullied. (Usually the first party making a complaint is the one that "wins").

your focus should be on keeping her out of contact with you as much as possible. 

ANY mixed messages that you give, will mean the continuation of this story..

[flhugoboss]

that is why you need help. you "tolerated". you are like a sponge. she can suck on it for the emotional juice she needs and spit it out when she wants to and suck on you "whenever" she likes without regards to your "being" and "feeling" of the moment. you are such a dush... just report her to the dorm manager or better, "find a temporary girl-friend to separate her out". she is messing up your life, bro. she threaten suicide? or you come again? i will record you and our conversation and put you on Youtube for the world to see. it works...no joke. You start with "my g/f can't leave episo #1"? you can take it down when she decided to leave.

Edited September 3, 2016 by flhugoboss

[Cameron24529]

@Ayla We do have social workers but we also have an RA on each floor that can ban people from their floor if there is a problem. So next time she comes up if she refuses to leave immediately I will get my RA and hopefully he will ban her from the floor. 

I'm not sure what to do about her making me jealous all the time tho she is always posting things on Facebook or Twitter and I can't help but check her page and see she's posting things about guy. I also don't know what to do about the blackmailing with the "abuse" she has already told a few of my friends and they got very pissed at me and came to my room to yell at me. I explained myself to them but I'm not sure if they understand. She has been texting me today threatening to post pictures of her bruises on Facebook and talk about how I abused her if I don't talk to her.

[Allinthemind]

You need to start compiling evidence by recording a few conversations of her admitting her blackmail. That will clear her accusations.

Do you mean that you actually feel jealous about what she is doing? That will put a different light on your reactions. Do you suffer with insecurity?

[Cameron24529]

@Allinthemind yeah I do feel jealous and I'm still in love with her 

[Allinthemind]

At one level you are feeding her actions. Read your previous posts. You are in love a girl who "is a very negative, angry, and emotionally driven person and we had nothing in common...She is completely obsessed with me and will randomly come up to my room and immediately put me in a bad mood. I have worked on staying calm around her but after a while it seems impossible. She gets so mad and is always yelling and hitting me for no reason..." etc. etc. You are in love with this?

You suffer with low self esteem and insecurity which is compromising your clarity to act assertively in this situation. Get help from a college counsellor.