Melancholy of giving

[everythingisnothing]

Hey,

the last few days I‘ve coached a few people for free and noticed how I lost passionate feelings, felt melancholic and slightly drained by giving. At least that is what I think is the reason. When I asked myself why there is sadness I wished I could just rest in someone’s  lap, let myself go and just be weak. I then imagined doing that and it helped, but how can I prevent myself from going into that place?

Edit: After posting this, I disidentified with this sad part and asked what it needs. It rebelled and said: "I want to be heard and seen too!" So I, as the neutral observer, gave it attention and the feeling that it is absolutely ok to be this way. It helped to go back into a neutral state.

Edit 2: After a few minutes of sitting still there was joy and laughter, felt like it was suppressed?

Edited November 8, 2020 by everythingisnothing

[UDT]

Maybe you don't feel valued when your services are free.