Narcissistic Abusive Personalities

[Preety_India]

Overt usually feels confident. 

Covert is desperate because his supply is always running out. 

 

[Preety_India]

Narcissists secret weapon 

 

[Preety_India]

Psychoanalysis of Elliot Rodger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 14, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[DeepSpace]

@Preety_India  Awesome work here, covert narcissists are the worst! 1 of the best I've found.

 

[Preety_India]

@DeepSpace thank you 

[DeepSpace]

@Preety_India Yes, listen to it. Coverts are so, so manipulative so people should look out for them the most! Enjoy!

[Preety_India]

Certain more insights into narcissistic pathology 

• They consider you as an object versus a person 
• They will use you and later they will throw you once the job is done 
• They can suddenly act hot or cold 
• Once they don't need you  they will give you a cold response, ignore you completely, and be non chalant meanwhile you're legit feeling confused that you must have done something wrong to offend them and they don't bother to clarify. They might suddenly start acting nice if they need you back again.. That's when you know it's not your fault and you were suffering unnecessary guilt and confusion.. Normal people show anger. Narcissists aren't angry. They just pretend like something happened. 
• . Narcissists show you admiration only when you are a part of their fantasy. 
• . They love edgy behavior 
• . They are always participating in dick measuring contests
• They use triangulation 
• They use mind games 
• Almost anything they do is a manipulation inspired by selfishness 
• They use weird sexual fantasies and get you lured so that they can control you through your guilty pleasures. 
• . They are highly seductive and they are constantly honing their seduction skills
• They violate boundaries 
• . They test your sexual boundaries 
• .they are not going to be happy about seeing your happy face with their sexual overtures. In fact they would rather see fear, vulnerability, insecurity, anger, helplessness, weakness and unwanted submission on your face while they continue to sexually abuse you. 
• They will try to turn their sexual experiences with you into the deepest biological intimacy to have complete control of you.. 

 

[Preety_India]

I've an in depth experience of what narcissistic behavior looks like because of having suffered narcissistic abuse for almost a decade with my mom starting in my teens and also early childhood as well many of my exes especially the most recent ex who was very high on the scale of narcissism almost close to my mom although sometimes I think my mom has been worse than him. 

This map I created to understand narcissism better 

 

 

Those who have never encountered a narcissist on a one on one personal encounter will never know what narcissistic behavior looks like. 

It's hard to explain because most people have this tendency to simply throw the word around and call anyone and everyone a narcissist. 

Therefore I hate when psychiatrists use the term "traits of narcissism" while evaluating people for narcissistic traits. I wish it was much more nuanced than that. 

 

[Preety_India]

I tend to show behaviors of empaths although I can say that being an empath can also come from being around narcissists because they train you to play that empath role so well. 

And it's not always pure empathy, a bit of it also mixed with codependency behavior acquired from being abused by narcissists before. 

Being abused by a narcissist can sometimes set off a chain of events that can cause you to develop codependency behaviors especially if you have been exposed to a narcissist early on in childhood the way I was. 

Narcissists love codependent people because they can have a much higher chance of having great power in the relationship. 

And a combination of codependency and empathy is a pot of gold for a narcissist, they will look at such a person (someone like me who has a combination of empathy and codependency) the way a shark looks at a shoal of sardines. 

Next I'm trying to explain this map that will go into some depth and explain some very keen details of narcissistic behavior that you won't find even on YouTube or even in materials by experienced psychologists. 

The reason is that a psychiatrist is only trying to profile a narcissist within the boundaries of a office compartment, it's a professional setting where they comb through major clues of npd coming from clients. They kind of give you an aggregate portfolio of a narcissist. 

However someone like me who has laughed, slept with a narcissist, showered with them, lived around them 24/7, day and night, every occasion, 365 days a year, such close encounter and also the traumatic experience of it all gave me a very nuanced understanding of narcissistic behavior 

First im going to explain triangulation and then move on to my 4 special red flags for detecting narcissistic behavior that I think according to me are exceptionally found in true narcissists. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

First starting with triangulation. 

A lot of people use this word in a very generic sense. Triangulation can be the normal kind where there is certain tension involved because there are 3 parties against each other. 

Normal kinds of triangulations happen in many personal relationships including friendships for example 2 people try to fight against a third person and then the third person befriends one of them,this can easily drive a wedge or create a conflict. 

However, this is nothing like narcissistic triangulation. 

Narcissistic triangulation is a separate phenomenon and is not caused by circumstances overlapping but exclusively by the narcissist in order to gain greater power and authority within the dynamic. 

An example of narcissistic triangulation can be like this.. 

Let be refer to a narcissist as A. And the people who are normal, let me refer to these people as B and C. 

So now we have A and B and C. 

The narcissist A wants narcissistic supply from B. He is quite happy with it.. 

But as time goes by, he is too bored of having only a single source of narcissistic supply. 

So he turns his attention to person C and tries to derive his narcissistic supply from C. 

But this is not enough for the narcissist. 

In order to gain further control of this dynamic and gain power, popularity and a sense of importance in this dynamic.. For this purpose, A tries to create conflict by comparing B to C and even trying to pit B against C. He wants B and C to fight to get his attention, to compete for him. This would make him feel even more important and special. 

This is a very classic example of what narcissists do, they pit one person against another to keep getting that narcissistic supply by making these two parties to compete with each other so that each one of them keeps giving more and more narcissistic supply to the narcissist. The end goal is to maximize narcissistic supply through fight and competition and tension 

Practical examples of narcissistic triangulation and my own experience 

One example is a husband or boyfriend trying to make his girlfriend fight another girl for his attention or love. He likes to watch the two women fight for his love because that makes me feel better about himself. 

Another example is of a wife who brings a male friend home to see her husband and pretends like it's pure friendship but at some point during the conversation tries to flirt with this friend and then looks in the direction of her husband to see his reaction. To incite Jealousy on purpose so that the tension between her husband and her friend ends up feeding her ego and pride making her feel more in demand or wanted. 

 

 

Edited December 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

So I finished explaining triangulation here. Next I move on to the event marked on the map as "around other people" 

Narcissists can be very surprisingly patient and well behaved around other people. 

The problem with narcissists and their narcissistic weapons is ghat these are specifically targeted at some people who the narcissist considers as vulnerable. This is the deep Predatory behavior of the narcissist. But this Predatory behavior is well masked by the narcissist in public and around other people. So most people never actually get to see the real manipulations, aggression and passive aggressive behaviors of the narcissists that these narcissists reserve only for their victims.

For example a boss might be very polite and nice to his clients and other acquaintances yet he might show a completely different behavior to his employees. 

It's almost as though the narcissist is well trained at living a double life. 

Edited December 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 4 special red flags for detecting narcissistic behavior

One behavior that is often found in narcissists is their tendency to take everyone for granted especially those who are caring and pleasant empathetic and nurturing to them. 

They will treat them like dirt constantly violating their boundaries. 

The other red flags. 

 

I'm feeling too sleepy so no time to write much. So I'll quickly joy down the red flags that I consider absolutely important in defining narcissists

• . They will try to downplay their abuse and the situation when they realize you're walking away. They will lure you back in the last minute when you're walking out. They are losing an employee. 
• . They treat people like employees rather than persons and relationships as contracts. 
• . They will throw as much mud at you as possible during an argument and offend you in the worst ways to only see how much they can get away with. They want to test your boundaries rather than find them. Normal people are afraid to offend. 

• . Around other people they will have a mask on and treat them better than they treat you. 
• . They will take your kindness for granted 
• . They will constantly use sentences like "I can find someone better" to remind you that you're powerless and disposable. 
• . The moment they spot an additional source of narcissistic supply they will immediately set up a competition between you and that person. 

• . When you ask for help, they will chastise you for it. 
• . They will be extremely self contradictory. Their actions will not reflect their words at all. 
• . Everything they do is for egoic purposes 
• . They are never happy or content 
• . When they say they are going to leave you they don't actually mean it. It's a mere threat. They say they want to leave you but actually don't leave. There is always an element of threat. 
• . They only leave when they get a replacement. 
• . They don't take your threats of leaving or rather expressions of leaving seriously because they think you're gaming too. 
• . When they say that they can't put up with something, it's not a boundary but rather a demand arising from entitlements. Whereas when a normie complains that they can't put up with something it's coming out of frustration and wanting to leave but trying to leave gradually. 

Now comes the Golden Red Flag. This is my Most Special Red Flag for determining a narcissist. This is the one absolute red flag that gives them away.. 

The most important red flag 

• The narcissist only gets very serious when you say the words "I'm not going to put up with this.." This statement is a huge threat to the narcissist. It's a statement that breaks his power game completely. 

When you say to a narcissist that you won't up with their shit anymore, you have done yourself a great favor. This is like kicking the narcissist right in the gut. 

Notice his behavior carefully. Does he suddenly act serious and wants to stop fooling and downplaying or mocking (showing utter indifference to your appeals of being hurt by his behavior)? 

The narcissist initially does tons of mocking showing active indifference to your protesting or your expressions of being hurt, your outbursts, he will try to completely disrespect you while you're having an outburst, and he is mocking or acting cold or trying to play jokes that are insensitive to the moment. He will suddenly make a joke while you're crying. 

But this same behavior completely flips at the mere mention of "I'm not putting up with this shit anymore." 

Suddenly all his mocking is gone. Now he is very serious. Because now he is realizing that he might be on the brink of losing you and he doesn't want that, so now he will try to distract you by trying to impress you a little or soothe you or get serious about the discussion to stop you from leaving or to prevent you from making decisions about leaving. 

This particular behavior of suddenly getting serious only when you say "I'm not putting up with this shit anymore" is the Golden Litmus Test for a narcissist. 

 

 

 

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Edited December 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

What is the best way to deal with a narcissist. 

Most normal people and empaths try to work out a relationship in the best possible ways because they value the person and the relationship and try to salvage both.. 

I'll refer to people like me as "normies",this does not mean anything degrading/derogatory, it only means people who are not narcissistic. 

People like me are normies and will have normal reactions, questions and behaviors in every situation in life 

Which is why it's very difficult for a normie to work around a narcissist no matter how hard they try to work things out. 

Normies need to understand that narcissists will never change and as soon as you realize that you are with a narcissist, it's time to start exit procedures. 

With a narcissist, there's only one thing that a normie can do.. 

Just Leave the narcissist and end the relationship super early in the relationship. Here the goal is to make the narcissist feel defeated and not give them any solace or comfort or value or leverage. Make them feel like they lost something or someone or they lost an employee. 

The goal is to realize that they play a lot of mind games and the only option for Normies is to simply leave. Otherwise Normies will need to deal with more mind games down the line. 

 

 

(feeling really sleepy and Typing fast, there will be typos because my eyes are shutting and heavy. I work very hard for this journal) 

Edited December 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One thing to understand is that you have to cut complete communication with a narcissist, like just totally cut it off. 

Because communication is the main medium through which the narcissist will try to influence you. 

 

[Preety_India]

The people I've positively identified as narcissists in close encounters and in the media are 

• My mom
• My teacher 
• My second ex (Bud) 
• My last ex(Joseph) 
• Donald Trump

 

Much of my research is based on the observation and analysis of the above mentioned personalities. 

 

Edited December 26, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

In my opinion, Shannan was a narcissist as shown in this video and Chris was a codependent in the marriage. 

I don't know what to say about Nicole. 

About Jodi, I really dont see any signs of narcissism in her, she is more manipulative. I'd rather say Travis was more of a narcissist. However Jodi fits the profile of a psychopath. 

Casey Anthony who I would consider a psychopath and Elliot Rodger a known narcissist.. 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

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