Narcissistic Abusive Personalities

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole yes I will never let him back in my life again.. He is done for good. 

I know that he wanted to be friends with me to start his shit again that's why I told him off. 

I just had to be a little more assertive. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole  I went through it from 2017 to 2019 and some more in early 2020. 

It only stopped when I found my next boyfriend. Andrew was a lifesaver. I'm currently with Andrew 

But to be fully comfortable with Andrew, I need to overcome the shadow of Joseph and get through all the pain, hurt, trauma, vent it out as much as possible, process it thoroughly, and not let it stay like a wound inside 

This journal definitely helps in throwing all the hurt out of my system and gaining traction for my future healing and recovery. 

I guess I will need about 3 months from now to fully process and recover so maybe by February/March 2021, I will be back on my feet again and feeling upbeat and positive.. 

Andrew is also dealing with his own shit from his ex. So we both need this space of time to heal together from our respective exes. 

Only then my relationship with Andrew will be a good one. 

 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India 

Wow, that is crazy. I can't imagine all the emotional trouble you had to go through during this 3 years.

What is an HSP? Is it some sort of typology system like mtbi?

@Keyhole  Most men are not like that, I am sorry that you had to deal with that piece of shit, but I am sure that you can find someone who will be loving and caring.

I think you need to learn how to feel other people better. It's possible to quite accurately determine if a person is an asshole or not after talking to them for like 10 minutes if you learn how to use your intuition better.

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole  thanks hun. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, BornToBoil said:

What is an HSP?

Highly Sensitive Person 

 

[BornToBoil]

8 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

@BornToBoil  Maybe after I'm done conversing with black Satan, we'll see.  I love your username btw.

@Preety_India <3

Thanks, haha

[Preety_India]

Do narcissists care about your emotions 

The simple answer is no 

Do narcissists get bored of you? 

Yes and always. Even if you are still doing their job for them. 

Can narcissists show loyalty

Only if they consider you to be super important to their business or enterprise. 

Do narcissists have a need for stimulation? 

Yes very much. In fact excessive. More than average. They have an endless need for dopamine resulting in them creating a lot of drama. Narcissists are always looking to enter into a situation where they are not welcome simply to stir trouble.. A very good example of such dopamine addictive drama creation is Trump tweeting "the shooting starts when the looting starts" thus creating wide-spread panic and clicking the drama button. 

How do narcissists start drama in a relationship? 

My ex used to constantly find a way to push my buttons. If I didn't like to discuss animal hunting, he would endlessly discuss animal hunting. See? That's they know they are pushing the buttons. They will do exactly what triggers a person. If a person is allergic to a certain thing, they would bring it up again and again. 

Breaking boundaries. 

Narcissists through their predatory behavior are an expert at detecting your boundaries and quickly try to break them to test how much you can take and to test your breaking point. 

 

Narcissists do triangulation 

Whats triangulation? 

Narcissists love the attention that they derive from two fighting over them in a relationship dynamic. 

For example Joseph would always bring some random woman into the relationship and make me fight with her for his attention. He would lure me into getting triggered over this other woman and make it sound like it's no big deal, knowing fully well that him being with another woman is going to trigger me. Even if I tried hard to not discuss the other woman, he would rub her in my face. In essence he wanted two women to fight for his attention, one his girlfriend (that is me) and the other some random woman. It would be very difficult and emotionally hard for me to constantly have to deal with this other woman drama. This is called narcissistic triangulation and is very famously observed in classic narcissistic abusive relationships. 

The stimulation derived from two people fighting over the narcissist is too tempting  for the narcissist. He is only looking for attention   

You would also see narcissistic women doing this in their relationships where they bring a second man just to trigger their boyfriends and make them fight with this second man and enjoy men battling for their attention. 

It gives them thrill and stimulation. 

Narcissist parents do this kind of triangulation by inciting fights among siblings for parental approval. 

 

Edited December 9, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole yes

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole I didn't have the balls to confront anyone. If I ever confronted anyone it was my ex boyfriend. And it took me 2 years just to be able to do that. 

 

Edited December 9, 2020 by Preety_India

[egoeimai]

[BornToBoil]

@egoeimai what is that supposed to mean? 

[Preety_India]

@egoeimai that's a beautiful Indian dress. I like her jewelry. I remember wearing similar jewelry many years ago. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole he said he was too busy to have a conversation with me and warned never to bring it up again. 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Keyhole oh, lol ok )

@Preety_India Do you still wear dresses like this for some special occasions? They look cool!

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil I was talking about the jewelry. I don't wear that type of dress. Those are outdated in my country. 

I wear shorts or t shirts and jeans/trousers. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole yes he is hyper aggressive. He used to shut down any kind of conversation that did not appeal to him. Everything had to be his way. I was just a puppet. 

Eventually he forgot the girl because it was only a strategy to make me feel sorry, he actually did not like the girl. He would come around and tell me that they were a whore or something like that and then confess his love for me. It was his trick to make me feel insecure so that I didn't leave him. 

I used to tell him that I would leave him if he didn't stop his drama. He used to find ways to control and keep me in the relationship although I desperately wanted to get out, the only thing binding me to him was that I had once saved his life, he was going to die and I took him to a safe place, so out of kindness I remained in the relationship of which he took massive advantage. 

Narcissists prey on kindness. 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India I know, but I meant for something like weddings, important holidays, etc.

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil no. I usually wear skirts on weddings. 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India I see

[Preety_India]

Covert salad