I used to be stuck in stage blue AMA

[Yoshy]

I used to be a practicing muslim , praying 5 times a day , virgin by choice , having no disbelieving friends , no relation with the opposite sex ect .... 

Im 20 years old and left Islam one year ago , I used to argue on this forum for the blue god now Im literraly anti religions . 

Trying to avoid the traps of stage orange that I still have to fully integrate . 

Ask me anything 

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Yoshy said:

I used to be a practicing muslim , praying 5 times a day , virgin by choice , having no disbelieving friends , no relation with the opposite sex ect .... 

Im 20 years old and left Islam one year ago , I used to argue on this forum for the blue god now Im literraly anti religions . 

Trying to avoid the traps of stage orange that I still have to fully integrate . 

Ask me anything 

Well... what changed your mind? How did you transcend Blue?  

Edited November 6, 2020 by Rilles

[Guest SirVladimir]

It's a fresh & fervent feeling to see a sincere AMA after series of "Dear Seekers, I Am God, AMA" threads. 

My question to you is, in what ways has your mind gained freedom of thought? Do you feel as if there is more "wiggle room" inside your headspace?

[Yoshy]

18 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Well... what changed your mind? How did you transcend Blue?  

I think that deep down I wanted to know truth , thats why I got into religion in the first place .

Then I accumulated enough knowledge from my religion , philosophy and science to see the flaws withnin my world view . I used to make excuses to protect my faith whenever I fell into an innacurracy or something weird , but at some point they accumulated so much that I could not blind myself anymore . 

The day before I finnaly left I watched a bunch of videos from an Atheist activist , his name is Aaronra . And my little bubble bursted . Transcending a whole stage really makes you a different person ,  It feels like building a new ego . People who knew me as a muslim dont recognize me today  .

What helped the most is the fact that Im young , I didnt invest too much of my life into this cult . Some people are married  , send their children to religious school , their social circle is full muslim ect ...

Thanks to my self , I didnt fall into the trap of investing my whole life into it and left before its too late . 

Stage blue is very delusional , the quality people must develop is honesty with one's self . Leo's videos helped but I was very sceptic when watching him , his arguments propably worked on a subcounscious level ahah . 

 

[Guest SirVladimir]

2 hours ago, Yoshy said:

Transcending a whole stage really makes you a different person, It feels like building a new ego.

Yup. You've nailed it. You are building a new ego, but don't let it give you a negative impression. Remember you are transcending but ALSO integrating. You will be a very new person now. What helps is to stay humble, to always remind yourself, "This is nothing but a passing stage, there's a long road before me, and I'll radically change many times." 

Vertical growth happens in phases. When you enter a new stage, it feels like an eureka, a sudden realization, a breakthrough, the great 'aha!' moment, etc. For a while, life feels calm and stable. As you start pushing limits of a stage, you may feel frustration, desperation, or helplessness. Your mind will attempt to solve problems by reinforcing itself - by applying MORE of the same old thinking - but worry not, it's natural. Just enjoy and smile, you're growing, you're exactly where you need to be. 

Being young is more of a blessing than a curse. Although one's vertical development is more brittle, so are one's delusions, and if the person pays attention, they're easier to deconstruct and break free from, too. Proud of ya!

Edited November 6, 2020 by SirVladimir

[seeking_brilliance]

@Yoshy after abandoning my religion, there came a period of depression and self loathing. I really had to build myself from the ground up and find who I was without religion. Unfortunately I didn't have this wonderful place to heal in the beginning, but I'm curious if any depression or backlash has risen for you? 

Edited November 6, 2020 by seeking_brilliance

[Yoshy]

On 06/11/2020 at 11:24 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

@Yoshy after abandoning my religion, there came a period of depression and self loathing. I really had to build myself from the ground up and find who I was without religion. Unfortunately I didn't have this wonderful place to heal in the beginning, but I'm curious if any depression or backlash has risen for you? 

In the first two months yes , at some point I wanted to revert but I just couldn't justify this belief anymore . You can't force yourself to believe a lie once you recognize it's a lie . Of course there is a deeper islam , but its still surrounded by a ton of useless beliefs and ego . 

Nihilism made me sad . There was times I would say to myself " So this materialistic boring life is all there is huh ? Am I just a random event In an infinite universe of probabilities ? Is my destiny only to die and get eaten by worms ? Why keep going , why do I wake up ? ect ...." 

But it was still a big relief to leave religion anyways . I emotionally traumatized myself for a God that doesn't exist , I would cry on my prayer mat realizing how sinful and dirty i was and have nightmares about hellfire . 

I really went trough the full blue experience lol 

Edited November 9, 2020 by Yoshy

[Yoshy]

On 07/11/2020 at 0:47 AM, dflores321 said:

@Yoshy how does it feel knowing you avoided a guilty, miserable life?

I was religious too when I was younger, no matter how many times I prayed every night i still had that existential angst. I always felt guilty for everything I did wondering which side I was on, good or evil? 

Congratulations on moving up . 

Im so grateful . 

I almost got trapped in an arranged marriage with a very religious girl , but somehow we didn't make it that far  . 

I was heartbroken at that time , I loved that girl . Now I realize that life has prepared something else for me  .

[Yoshy]

On 06/11/2020 at 8:13 PM, SirVladimir said:

It's a fresh & fervent feeling to see a sincere AMA after series of "Dear Seekers, I Am God, AMA" threads. 

My question to you is, in what ways has your mind gained freedom of thought? Do you feel as if there is more "wiggle room" inside your headspace?

Lets skip the whole critical thinking thing , its a skill everyone should develop anyways . On top of that skill what changed the most is the variety of information I allow myself to search , open mindedness and thoughts .

My headspace is much more vast than it used to be , I really feel like being free in my head . I used to CENSOR my own imagination ( because I thought that God would be aware of my thoughts and I was ashamed ) , now I can create any world I want in my head and feed It with any Art I wish . 

And thank you for your comments  

[seeking_brilliance]

1 hour ago, Yoshy said:

now I can create any world I want in my head and feed It with any Art I wish . 

I call it tending the garden ? 

[Yoshy]

1 hour ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Well good for you for acknowledging that you were at a rather low state of development, most people over estimate how conscious they are, great job on your part.

The only think I can now recommend is that you study hard nose science and rationality, as well as develop some business, marketing and wealth creation skills, try investing in stocks.

It's fabled that reading 'The God Delusion' by Richard Dawkins is enough to push anyone from Blue into the Orange rational thinking.

Hard nose science is exactly what Im doing in uni i ! 

I considered investing in stocks for months,  but have been too absorbed by my studies and self doubts . And Im still ignorant about the practical parts of investing , that is how do I buy a stock in the first place lol . But I get the whole point of investing and which companies are a safe investment .