Please Advice on My Kids Playing Fortnite

[Hsinav]

1 hour ago, Hatfort said:

If you allow him, set some rules, like always homework first or time limits. You can be flexible sometimes. Outdoor activities and interactions should be encouraged as well.

Also, check how it affects him, any positive result, as his social life is richer, or negative, like being more aggressive or addiction patterns. Based on that, you act. And be part of it, ask him about his avatar or character, how he feels when he plays, how his game went, who is he playing with. Check yourself how the videogame is, observe him playing and ask him, what's this, what's that, who's that, what a nice creature, what an ugly creature, whatever.

Thanks for input, he's already playing games and we have a good setup for this I think (which is very important)

Yes, getting involved in his game is a good thing. Some games we already play together and I actually enjoy playing myself from time to time.

[Onecirrus]

@PurpleTree Because there is a kid out there who wants to play video games and I think he should be able to play video games.

[Hsinav]

1 hour ago, Hansu said:

If it helps, Fortnite is really mild on violence. Its kind of like the minecraft of shooters.

From someone who begun playing violent videogames from the age of ~9 or 10, I'd argue that a child sees the battle royale aspect to simply be a game. In Fortnite, your task is to be the top 1 out of 100 players. I doubt kids see that as "Im going to butcher everyone who breathes", but as a challenge, to be the number 1 out of 100.

Alright, thanks!

[Just Do Nothing]

Just now, Hsinav said:

Thanks for input, he's already playing games and we have a good setup for this I think (which is very important)

Yes, getting involved in his game is a good thing. Some games we already play together and I actually enjoy playing myself from time to time.

Fortnite is a kids game. Don't worry. 

[Hsinav]

30 minutes ago, Space said:

@Onecirrus I think the OPs thread is fine in this sub forum. It's not creating any arguments or major issues so I see no reason to move it or lock for low quality. This is an important topic in our current times.

@Hsinav  Fortnite is one the least violent and toxic video games on the market. Just because they are shooting other players in the game doesn't mean your son is going to suddenly become a mass murderer. The idea that video games incite real world violence or cause players to be more aggressive was disproved many years ago. There is no evidence for it. 

You might find that the act of completely restricting your son's ability to play the game will have a detrimental effect on his social life and mental health. If you want to restrict his game time to a certain period in the day or a certain amount of hours per week thats fine, but I would say don't completely restrict him from doing it. If all of his friends are playing it, he wants to be social with them and fit in with them - this is very important. 

If his gaming becomes toxic, if he is playing constantly every hour of the day, then I would suggest intervening and restricting his total game time.

Ok, thanks! I don´t think my son will become a terrible person by playing FN, I guess I just don't like the rethoric that seems to come out of this game.

There's a lot of talk in our house these days about, war, granates, weapon, fuck him, fuck this, fuck that etc. (most of this comes from gaming influencers on YT I believe) and when you here this coming out of my younger sons mouth who´s only 6, it just doesn't feel right even though its innocent.

[Hsinav]

13 minutes ago, Just Do Nothing said:

Fortnite is a kids game. Don't worry. 

Ok, Thanks! 

[Space]

29 minutes ago, Hsinav said:

Ok, thanks! I don´t think my son will become a terrible person by playing FN, I guess I just don't like the rethoric that seems to come out of this game.

There's a lot of talk in our house these days about, war, granates, weapon, fuck him, fuck this, fuck that etc. (most of this comes from gaming influencers on YT I believe) and when you here this coming out of my younger sons mouth who´s only 6, it just doesn't feel right even though its innocent.

I wouldn't worry too much about this. All of this is unlikely to permeate into your son's real world life, behaviour and relationships etc. 

The main thing is to ensure that he does not become addicted to video games in an unhealthy and toxic way. This is certainly a real danger, particularly as he is so young, and he will thank you later in life for making an effort to prevent this. However, in our current world, most young people living an increasingly significant portion of their lives in the digital world. And for boys this is in video games. So in some ways it's unavoidable. It's up to you to ensure that he has other things in his life that can bring him the same or more satisfaction and enjoyment. It's all about finding the right balance.

[Reciprocality]

Go for it, crystalized spatial inteligence is completely undermined in all standard formal education i know of. If it were either a movie or a game like fortnite the choice is pretty simple. The childs mind will spontaneously try to fix relatable problems as he do not play the game, which self-evidently is a great thing.

This regards all games ofcourse, by definition, but most games hits a point of diminishing returns, the returns of creative games like fortnite however will diminish paralell only to the one playing it. Or rather, the one subjected to the game becomes the bottleneck of the game. : )

[Hsinav]

Yes, your right, thanks for your time!

 

Edited November 6, 2020 by Hsinav

[DIDego]

This is a very huge topic and should be discussed thru from many perspectives and ages (generations).

I use if because i dont want to upset, only give a perspective.

If there are the age 0-10 that are the most vulnerable time for a child?

And if children dont do what you say, if they do what they see and also learn all almost without filter.

How do we know now how this young generation will be, if we only look from self-bias, if we take a look if there are any slight difference 25 years back in society a so forth.

Generation born around 1970-85 are young enough to grown up during the huge tech shift.

I cant explain the whole history, but we that grown up before -85 had a chance to choose because we lived a different life that got programmed from reality.

 

Im tech interested and educated from early age, also was one of many that got heavily addicted to gaming.

Gaming are awesome for so many reasons, good for exercise and expand the mind and body.

Social interaction and communication can also be a huge benefit if there are in a mostly non toxic manner.

When i got bored and sick of  gaming after all years, i did start remember there are plenty of wonderful stuff to do that not involves a screen.

Balance between tech and nature?

Good luck 

[Byun Sean]

I'd say if he really loves the game let him play.

Just make sure his play time doesn't start to take up his entire life in an unhealthy way.

Like make sure he's still doing well in school. encouraging him to engage socially etc.

 

You as a parent get to determine where you draw the line.

But I can tell you from personal experience I grew up playing violent video games and I don't consider myself even remotely hostile or violent at all.

Kids are generally smart enough to make the distinction between killing in a fantasy world on a screen and the seriousness of real life killing.

[Fadl]

@HsinavKids look up to their parents, if he didn't see anything interesting about you he will turn to video games.

[Carl-Richard]

I was actually given a RuneScape membership from my mom for christmas when I was 11, and then when we were about to pay for it, my dad read that it was for kids over 12 years old, so I didn't get it. I was devastated. My closest friend was given a membership years ago, but they didn't care.

When I look back at my life, it was actually a defining moment in forming my personality. After that, I would almost never ask my parents for anything, because I was too afraid to get rejected. (I know that this story comes off as relatively privileged compared to most children in the world, but it's nonetheless a story worth sharing).

My friends would buy the newest playstation, all the newest games, the newest phones, computers, clothes, shoes etc.. And me? Basically nothing. Of course I would get these things sometimes in birthday or christmas presents, but I never dared to ask for these "cool" things. I dont know if this is related, but I also never asked my teachers for help during math class, even if I struggled with a problem (similar dynamic there).

I later found out a way to pay for membership on my own (PaySafe cards), and I stuck to RuneScape as my only game. The fact that I was denied it reinforced both my love for it AND my avoidant behavior, because instead of potentially getting rejected, I could just stick to RuneScape. My friends have always been perplexed over why I virtually haven't played any other games, and I was too, but I think I've found atleast one reason why that is.

I also believe this "trauma" was one of the driving forces behind my short descent into drug addiction (which I resolved through spiritual growth). I had these deep hedonistic impulses in me that I had repressed to protect myself, and these started to bubble over once I got introduced to weed. Long story short, I turned into a very problematic kid in my later teenage years, but I came out of it more or less unscathed.

I'm not telling this story in order to convince you to do anything a particular way, but rather it's one way to say that parenting is a tightrope walk. You might think that you're creating a perfect human being by denying your child the option to overindugle, but it might backfire on you. Now, games with explicit violence is a touchy subject, so I won't say that my story is comparable to your situation, but I think it can help to provide some general perspective.

Edited November 7, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[Lyubov]

I think it's a bit young but should be fine if they aren't spending hours and hours on it. These games are super addicting so expect them to only want to play Fortnite when they get into it. It's like candy. Fine sometimes but not all the time. 

Edited November 7, 2020 by Lyubov

[Carl-Richard]

13 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

I think it's a bit young but should be fine if they aren't spending hours and hours on it. These games are super addicting so expect them to only want to play Fortnite when they get into it. It's like candy. Fine sometimes but not all the time. 

Tbh there is nothing you can do to stop people from spending 10 hrs a day at the computer nowadays.

[Hsinav]

5 hours ago, Fadl said:

@HsinavKids look up to their parents, if he didn't see anything interesting about you he will turn to video games.

@Space  It´s much more complex and nuanced than that but there is a bit of truth in it.

[Hsinav]

Thanks for advice and input on this thread guys! I just want to add that that my protocol when my kids are playing games/watching media is pretty good. (btw I can recommend the app from Google called family link from were you can "control" a lot of stuff)

I don´t allow them to become vegetables. We do a lot of exercise and (outdoor) activities besides gaming and never let them play before homework, a lot of social interaction etc. but I,m more focused on the content, what to aloud and what not to.

My question is I guess: at what point as a parent do you have to say no to toxic media and how do you do that!? (can be very complicated!) also at what age?, a lot of 7 years today are familiar with GTA (some versions are 18+, I believe) and a few have already watched porn.

I,v decided to allow Fortnite for my sons even though I think 6 years is very young.

[UDT]

@Hsinav

I'd go 

"No Bob you can't play fortnite but I'll take you to Karate Practice tomorrow" 

Don't just say no and cut him off from his friends, get him into the right circles of development and growth

[DIDego]

@Hsinav

Sounds that you have a nice approach, dedicated and open for find a solution to have a balance   

Some parents can play same game as the child, not maybe to much time as the child plays it because interfering the play between the group. Parents maybe not always really like the game as it is, but hopefully like play it with the child and thru that able to do a sort of  learning, understanding and ofc a way to spend time with younger generations, that circle includes all kind of win-win-win in the long run.

 

@Carl-Richard  Nice one, this are an important perspective, if the reader try to understand it deep, this can be applied in many situations.  

18 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

I was actually given a RuneScape membership from my mom for christmas when I was 11, and then when we were about to pay for it, my dad read that it was for kids over 12 years old, so I didn't get it. I was devastated. My closest friend was given a membership years ago, but they didn't care.

When I look back at my life, it was actually a defining moment in forming my personality. After that, I would almost never ask my parents for anything, because I was too afraid to get rejected. (I know that this story comes off as relatively privileged compared to most children in the world, but it's nonetheless a story worth sharing).

My friends would buy the newest playstation, all the newest games, the newest phones, computers, clothes, shoes etc.. And me? Basically nothing. Of course I would get these things sometimes in birthday or christmas presents, but I never dared to ask for these "cool" things. I dont know if this is related, but I also never asked my teachers for help during math class, even if I struggled with a problem (similar dynamic there).

I later found out a way to pay for membership on my own (PaySafe cards), and I stuck to RuneScape as my only game. The fact that I was denied it reinforced both my love for it AND my avoidant behavior, because instead of potentially getting rejected, I could just stick to RuneScape. My friends have always been perplexed over why I virtually haven't played any other games, and I was too, but I think I've found atleast one reason why that is.

I also believe this "trauma" was one of the driving forces behind my short descent into drug addiction (which I resolved through spiritual growth). I had these deep hedonistic impulses in me that I had repressed to protect myself, and these started to bubble over once I got introduced to weed. Long story short, I turned into a very problematic kid in my later teenage years, but I came out of it more or less unscathed.

I'm not telling this story in order to convince you to do anything a particular way, but rather it's one way to say that parenting is a tightrope walk. You might think that you're creating a perfect human being by denying your child the option to overindugle, but it might backfire on you. Now, games with explicit violence is a touchy subject, so I won't say that my story is comparable to your situation, but I think it can help to provide some general perspective.

 

[Arcangelo]

On 11/6/2020 at 5:04 AM, Hsinav said:

Hi, i,m in a position were my oldest son who's 8 want to play Fortnite and I´m not sure how to handle it

If there is a doubt there is no doubt Do not let him play. Or at least do not enable him to play.

 

On 11/6/2020 at 5:04 AM, Hsinav said:

A lot of his friends play it and a lot of parents that I get along with pretty well thinks it´s fine.

I don't think is fine. A lot of people voted for Trump remember?

 

On 11/6/2020 at 5:04 AM, Hsinav said:

One of my friend that I consider amoung the most conscious says definitely no to her kids at same age.

Obviously man

On 11/6/2020 at 5:18 AM, Hsinav said:

Of course, the problem is that he will get excluded in a lot of his social life

Nope. KArate class jiu jitsu class, taekwondo class. soccer club, basketball club archery club Do I have to keep going?

I used to play doom but I was 15yo

8yo is just to young to be playing video games. Any video games.

Lazy parents give their kids video games IMO.

Have you seen 40+ yo grown ups playing video games. I had, they are pathetic. You want them to be like that?

 

This what will happen in the end:

Nip it in the bud @Hsinav